Title: Finding Salvation in Darkness
rating: R
summary: Harry is raped by Lucius after a Quidditch match. set in his sixth year After feeling ill, he goes to Pomfrey who deduces that Harry is pregnant. She assigns Harry a caretaker....Severus Snape. O.o Will Snape go from cruel, harsh teacher to a loving, attentive foster father?
warnings: boy x boy love. MPREG, er Lucius turned into a total meanie. I love him to death but he was the only likely candidate and I was not going to have a Voldemort and Harry rape fic.
this chapter: RAPE! Not that descript. ~~~~~~
Chapter 1
Cold, gray eyes watched, ever intent. A pale hand moved aside a long lock of silvery blonde hair that veiled his vision momentarily. Lucius Malfoy waited, hidden near the Quidditch Pitch at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. With a smug smirk, Lucius patted his wand reassuringly. It wasn't as if Lucius liked to slink in the shadows, it was just his style. As a known Death Eater-though he vehemently denies it-and Voldemort's right hand man, Lucius couldn't afford to be spotted by the Hogwart fools. No, he would take what was his in secrecy. Noone would know of his deeds.
Cheering arose from the pitch, announcing Gryffindor the winner against Ravenclaw. Lucius smiled to himself, quickly hiding himself behind the shed that stored the Gryffindor's broomsticks. He knew that his conquest would be last to come. He watched the Quidditch team return to the main castle. The blonde spotted his prey and he sneered at the Boy-Who-Lived. The scruffy jet black hair, like his father's. The pure emerald green eyes that seemed to mock all those around him, courtesy of his Mudblood mother. His body was toned to perfection from years of Quidditch, sweat sheening in the waning summer sun.
Lucius gazed predatorily at the teenager, steps as stealthy as a panther on the hunt. He wanted to break the boy, wanted to make him shatter into a thousand pieces of glass. Lucius was going to strip Harry Potter of his virginity; the last of his innocence. Lucius approached the shed's entrance, entire body eager for what he was going to do. He could hear Harry curse to himself as several brooms fell from their places. Lucius took the oppurtunity to sneak inside. With a victory smile, Lucius shut the door and locked it with his most powerful locking spell. No light permeated the dingy old shed.
"Damnit. Lu-" Suddenly Harry's wand was taken from him and he heard the other voice. A drawl. Where had heard that same tone before? Harry's heart began to pace rapidly as panic set in. "Who...who's there?" Harry asked, his voice quivering. A hand descended upon his cheek, slapping him to the side. Harry's glasses slid off his nose. "Wha-" The same hand clamped on his mouth.
"Hush, Potter," Lucius said cooly, relishing in the fear that was radiating from Harry. "It would be in your best interest to not speak unless I give you permission." Harry struggled as Lucius straddled his waist, knees boxing him in. Tears flecked the green eyes, spilling onto Lucius's hand. He laughed mockingly. "Oh, how precious. The great Harry Potter is crying. Scared that I'm going to do something horrible to you." The boy bit into his hand. Lucius backhanded him again more painfully. "Your going to regret doing that!" he snarled, tearing at the boy's Quidditch robes.
Harry was in a state of petrifying shock as his shirt was shredded. Those nimble and soft fingers glided across his toned abdominal muscles, the tissues and skin rippling at the sensous glide of digits. He felt the fingers travel towards his pectorals, roughly tweaking a puckering nipple. Harry gasped, groaning painfully and slightly erotically from the brief shoot of pleasure that shot through his nerves.
Lucius smirked, pivoting his hips forward to dig into Harry's pelvic bone. He slapped the boy again, delighting in the sharp hiss of pain. Pain...it was so lovely to cause. An expanding crotch sent myriad webs of satisfaction into Lucius' demented mind. Harry was enjoying this more than he should have. "You like this, don't you Potter? You're a whore, Potter. Say it." A whimper is the only answer he recieved. "Do it!" Lucius commanded, raising his hand to strike.
"I'm a whore," Harry whispered, choking on his tears. His attacker laughed jovially, hand carressing and descending down his stomach, to his traitorous arousal. He bit into his lip, preventing the moan that threatened to escape. He would not let his defiler know he was getting enjoyment. It was his bodies natural reaction, especially at his age.
"The Savior of the Wizard World, not so great now are you Potter?" No reply. Lucius glibly shrugged a slender shoulder, fingers teasing the hardened appendage in his fist. What a better way to break one's enemy then taking away only what they owned; their purity and Lucius was taking that. He narrowed his eyes, tiny swirls of sadistic pleasure dancing in the grey depths at the closed green eyes and the bleeding lip.
Lucius ripped at Harry's cream hued pants, exposing his prize. He flipped Harry onto his stomach, earning a paniced gasp at the inferior position. "Don't be so conceited Potter, not everyone adores your pretty face. That scar is quite unbecoming, if I might say so myself." Lucius slipped a finger into the little orifice, unconciously licking his lips at the sheer tightness that greeted the questing digit. This would be too much fun.
Harry felt horrid pain journey from his rump, to his backside, everywhere! Harry wasn't completely ignorant to the entire gay sex syndrome, he'd seen it in a book on veelas. The texts wrote that if prepared, it would lessen the pain. Apparently, his tormenter wasn't going to do that. Harry tried to relax his body and except the invasion.
Lucius spread Harry's legs far, as far as they were allowed. He pulled his own pants down to his knees, positioning himself behind the boy. He angled himself in the certain place, knowing Harry would have to give into his bodies bliss. It wouldn't be long now.
Harry grunted as the solid length brushed against his prostrate gland. His lips would be raw and chapped by the time this was finished, he kept gnashing at them to prevent any sorts of desire sounds from going forth. The blunt head scraped against the cluster of nerves, working it roughly. His raper wasn't making a sound either, and Harry wondered exactly what kind of person he was.
Tilting his shaft some to better hit the gland, Lucius strained to hear any moans. Ah..there was one. How Harry must be in shame. "The Golden Boy, moaning like a wanton whore. Your nothing, your beneath me. I've taken your pride, haven't I Potter?" Crystalline tears were his only answer, but it was enough to know that he was right. "We all know how much you ignorant Gryffindor's love your pride."
Harry was ashamed and embarrassed. How dare this happen to him! He was supposed to be protected with the walls of Hogwarts! He was Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived! Harry moaned as his attacker drove deeper and faster. His mind wasn't disoriented enough to not think. Underneath all the pleasure, fear was taking root. Was this why he was being attacked? Because he was Harry Potter, the famous boy who had destroyed Voldemort inadvertenely?
Harry couldn't handle it anymore, it was too much sensory overload. With a cry, he released his seed, wincing when his attacker did the same, the liquid running down his legs. He winced as the man pulled his length from him. It hurt, so much! "Perhaps you'll take this as a lesson, Potter." Harry could hear the man zipping his pants and a muttering a cleaning charm. The door was opened, a thin stream of light going forth but Harry couldn't tell who his attacker was, the dark robes shrouded his face from view.
He lay there, in his own juices, too broken in spirit to move. How? How?! "HOW!" Harry yelled desperately to nobody in particular, slamming his fist onto the wood. He was supposed to be one of the, if not strongest behind Dumbledore, wizard and yet he couldn't fend off some sadist rapist. He struggled to rise, grimacing at the amounts of pain. Who had done it to him? Who would have had the gall to come inside of Hogwarts and acoust the famous student? And...who would have had the power to get inside the gates? It didn't add up. Shouldn't the wards of sounded? Shouldn't a stranger in a black robe be picked out and questioned? Why? Why was the security so disabled that they couldn't stop a stranger from entering?
It was too much for Harry to think about at the moment. He weakly dressed. He would have to consult Dumbledore and tell him. How was he going to go about that? "Oh sir, I just thought I'd tell you I was raped and the wards didn't seem to work." That would be swell. Harry sighed, running his hands through his tangled mop of black hair. He would have to tell Dumbledore. If this happened to him, it could happen to another student and Harry wasn't about to risk other lives with keeping the embarassing truth to himself.
~ * ~
Chapter 2
Harry kept to the shadows of the inner castle, desperately praying on every religion that he wouldn't be spotted and questioned. His robes were torn, his lip was more than likely bruised, and the scent of sex clung to him. His wand was in his room, locked in the trunk at the foot of his bed where his most prized possessions were, including the Invisibility Cloak, a few gifts he'd recieved over the years, the Marauder's Map, and his precious photograph Hagrid had given him first year.
He paused, waiting for group of students to pass. He wound through the corridors, seeking a safe passage to the Gryffindor Tower. His hope came when he spied a certain painting. The damsel in the frame pursed her lips at him, brows furrowing at the disheveled state of his being. "Harry, art thou well?" Harry nodded wordlessly to the woman. "I see. I shall let you go."
Harry entered the tunnel, letting a breat he'd been holding escape. Luckily for him, no-one knew of the existence of the tunnel save the Weasley twins and they were no longer at Hogwart's. The escape route would lead him directly through another painting in the Gryffindor Common Room. Fate was kin to Harry; the old knight in the frame allowed him entry every time and didn't ask absurd questions. Harry halted, rubbing his pained tail bone. He knew he wouldn't be playing Quidditch for a few days unless Madame Pomfrey knew of a quick healing agent.
He resumed his trekking, ceasing his gait upon arrival to the canvas. He nudged Perceval's two dimensional haven, awaiting for the man to appear. He did almost within secons. Perceval raised a bushy brow. "..Is there anyone in the Common Room?"
"Nay, there isn't." Perceval swung his portrait to the side, keeping a sharp eye on Harry as he ascended the stair case for the prefect's bathroom. Something was definitely not right. Perceval went to chat withthe lady at the other end.
The steam of the showers were comforting, the other players having finished probably minutes before. Harry scrubbed at his skin, wishing to ris himself of the filthiness of the rape. His hips were scratched and his thighs were bruised. Ugly purples combined with disgusting yellows in the shape of fingertips. Harry wasn't the most vain person but he didn't appreciate his creamy flesh being marred. It was also a constant reminder of his perversion.
Stepping from the stall, Harry wrapped the fluffy towel around his waist, feeling at last clean and free of the semen. He tip-toed to his room, walking on shards of glass, trying to his hardest to be silent in case hi dorm mates were inside. There was no sign of them. He dressed gingerly, avoiding the wounds on his body. He took his leisure time. He wouldn't be able to prevent the inevitable, he would have to tell Dumbledore sooner or later.
Harry limped downstairs, going towards the headmaster's office. He ignored the several stares in his direction, knowing they were thinking the entire opposite of what actually happened. Harry came to stand in front of the gargoyles at Dumbledore's office. "Fizzing Whizbees," he murmured. He wasn't that surprised that Dumbledore was already there, sitting behind his huge desk with his hands folded into the wide sleeves of his robe. "Sir."
"Harry, what might I help you with?" Albus asked but despite his words, the twinkle was absent from the blue eyes.
"Headmaster..I...I..." Harry swallowed the tears and the same that threatened to surface. He turned his head to the side. "I was raped in the Broomshed." A gasp from the often-senile wizard sent Harry over the edge. A tear dropped. "I couldn't stop it. My wand was in my room and I was too tired to fend him off with just my strength. I dont know who the person was but he was wearing a black robe."
"I think you should go to the Infirmary, now." Harry wasn't about to argue with the older man and fled like a bat out of hell-or as fast as he hobble- towards the place he went to often. Albus wearily rose to his feet. "Oh Harry," he said softly. The wards had been removed to do a routine check. How could the person have know that?
* * *
Harry's patience was wearing thin as Pomfrey dabbed at his bruises and wounds. The woman had made a fuss about it and of course, Pomfrey didn't know that it was because of a rape that Harry was hurting. He had lied and said it was because of Quidditch. He wasn't going to spill his shameful secret to anyone but those who needed to know and Pomfrey didn't. Harry tensed at the white bandages being taped onto his skin. That would hurt like a bitch to get off. He raised imploring green eyes. "May I go now?"
Pomfrey huffed, arms akimbo on her waist. "Fine Harry, go. If you have any more pain, come and tell me and I'll fix you up again."
"Thank you," Harry said to the offered Chocolate Frog. He walked slowly, decimating the poor candy frog, ripping its legs from its body first. He'd have to speak with Albus soon and question why the wards weren't working at the time of his defilement. Harry began to come up with plausible reasons for his limping. He could say it was Quidditch but his teammates would know it wasn't. Or...he could say he got some extra practice in and accidently fell of his broom. No..how could he have busted his lip that way? Harry groaned. He would just have to skip dinner and hope that by the following day, his lip would be healed enough that Ron and Hermione couldn't tell.
"Ouch!" he yelped, colliding with a solid structure and falling to the floor. He glared. "Out of all the-" He then realised that the 'structure' was in fact a person. He cringed at Professor Snape's glowwer fixed on him, just knowing the man was going to come up with some retort.
"Ten points from Gryffindor for not being in your designated vicinity. Unless you've become even more stupider, this is the way to the Slytherin Tower." Harry blinked. So it was. "Move Potter," Snape demanded with that cool, silken voice that sent chills down Harry's spine when he heard it.
Harry obeyed, not daring to risk Snape's choleric attitude. He frowned at the swirling obsidian robes. Why couldn't Snape be nice once in a while? Harry pivoted on his heel, fully intent on ~not~ advancing towards the realm of the Slytherin's. That would be foolhardy and dangerous. He dredded to think what Malfoy and his henchmen might do to him if he were discovered wandering aimlessly alone.
A hand clasped Harry's shoulder, the boy emitting a tiny squeak. It was Dumbledore. "Harry, I want you to come with me. I've summoned Sirius, Remus, and Severus to my quarters. I believe it best if you tell them what has happened rather than me."
Harry shook his head fervently. "No! I dont want them knowing!"
Albus led Harry back towards his office, not removing the gnarled hand from Harry's arm. "You could be in grave danger Harry. It would be wise to tell."
"But...what will they think?" Harry asked, oculates shining with worry.
"They will not judge you."
"Why does Snape have to be there?" he whined.
"Because he's a powerful wizard and he has ties to the Death Eaters."
Harry went deathly pale. "You..you think it was a Death Eater?!" he whispered in terrified revulsion.
"That I do but we will discuss this with your godfather, Professor Lupin, and Professor Snape."
Upon the second Harry's foot stepped into Albus's office, he was engulphed by a bone crushing hug. Harry bit back the cry of pain, worming his way from Sirius' tight embrace. He smiled wanly at the raven haired man, inching towards Remus. He hugged his Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher warmly. He merely frowned at Severus before settling into the seat beside Sirius. Albus began. "I know you are curious as to why I have summoned you all. Something...terrible happened today that could effect Mr.Potter's life if it doesn't go checked." Sirius glanced at Remus who in turn glanced at a scowling Severus. "Mr.Potter has deemed it best that he should be the one to tell."
"I was putting my broom up when I was attacked." Sirius' fist clenched, Remus putting a patient hand on his lover's. Severus's face was of indifference. "I dont know who he was except he was wearing a black robe." Harry couldn't meet Albus's disapproving gaze. "So..thats about it."
Sirius growled, getting to his feet. "How did this happen?! I swear I'll kill the bastard who hurt you!"
"I really do not think Potter needs to have his honor defended. Unless, he isn't tell the whole truth." Severus kept his perpetual glowwer on an uncomfortable Harry. "Are you telling the entire truth, Potter?"
"Of course he is you bloody fool!" Sirius snapped, hand itching to grab his wand. "Dont you fucking accuse Harry of lieing, stupid git!"
Severus didn't rise to the bait. "Let Harry say something in his own defense."
"He doesn't have to, not to you!"
"Sirius!" Remus barked, steering the irate Sirius from the composed Severus. "Thats enough! You two squabble like children! I'm sorry Headmaster but Sirius needs to be calmed down before we confront this ordeal. Harry, I think it would be wise if you came to spend the night in our rooms."
"Thats an excellent idea," Albus voiced.
Severus spoke as the door closed. "...He wasn't telling the truth, was he?"
Albus smiled. "Never could hide anything from you, Severus. However, it is not my place to say anything. If Harry had wanted you, or Sirius and Remus, to know then he wouldn't said so. Besides, you know that it was a Death Eater; who else could have known that today was the routine check. I also know that you know what happened to Harry in the shed without his testament."
Severus nodded sagely. "Unfortunately, I am aware of how Death Eaters work. I have to grade an assignment. Goodnight, Headmaster." He left, robes billowing like a cloud.
Albus grabbed a bar of candy, unwrapping it diligently. "And, if what I think has happened, our young Harry Potter will be providing you with some company." Albus smirked to himself, biting into the Zero bar. Yes, Severus wouldn't be able to resist Albus's wheedling.
~ * ~
Chapter 3
Harry watched as Sirius and Remus carried out their evening rituals. He felt imposing, staring at the love passing betwixt them with every look, every touch, every word. Harry had made it perfectly clear that he didn't want to be worried over the minute he and his godparents left Albus's office. They had relented, agreeing.
The innocent displays of affection before him was kind of heart wrenching. He immediately turned his vision to the window. It wasn't anywhere near dark yet, it being only mid-October. Harry coughed, catching the attention of his godparents. "I'm going for a walk. Don't wait up for me." He took his Invisibility Cloak from a plush chair, grinning slightly at Sirius and Remus.
"Alright, just be careful."
"I will," Harry responded to Remus. He yawned, stretching his arms above his head as he made his way into the corridor near the Gryffindor Tower. The couple had been adamant that their rooms be next to their old House. Harry shoved his hands into the pockets of his muggle jeans. It was becoming colder with the passing of autum into winter.
Harry paused at a gothic window. The signs were all evident. The changing of the leaves colors, the littering of the same leaves on the ground, the decaying plants, the stalks of flowers long since dead. The situation reminded him of his own. The plants were raped of their much needed sun and if not intervened by helping factors, they whither into nothingness. Harry's light was gone...who would save him?
He couldn't very well tell his friends; they would merely panic and be a bunch of worrisome prats. He didnt have a girlfriend, another oddity that Ron grossed over. Girls threw themselves at his feet and yet he didn't date them. Harry was starting to wonder if he was, Merlin forbid, gay. He didn't doubt it. He didn't really care. Just another abnormality to set him aside from the main populace.
His fingers unconciously traveled to his scar, pressing onto the blemished tissue. Why did he have to the bloody Boy Who Lived? He used to be just a normal...well..as close to normal as he could be, not had a worry about protecting the world, not had a worry about being too famous to even set into the wizarding world without being glomped. Despite what Malfoy thought, and a select other few, he didn't want the glory. He wanted to be just another boy.
There was only one person that didn't revere him, whether positive or negative, and that was Professor Snape. Snape made it clear that he hated him, repeatedly. Harry did not have a vague idea as to why he cared if Snape liked him or not. Harry sighed, staring at the main doors longingly. He wanted to take a stroll along the lake and perhaps, if it hadn't hibernate, a snake he could speak with and aleviate his problems to.
"Potter, you just can't adhere to the rules, can you?" Snapes voice caused Harry to jump. "Why did the mutt allow you to leave when he knows its unsafe for you to?"
"It doesn't matter sir. I wasn't going to leave the castle." Harry refused to meet Snape's searching onyx orbs.
"....I was on my way out. Would you care to join me?"
Harry snapped his head to gaze in wonder at his teacher. "Wh..Okay." He fell into step beside Snape, glancing suspiciously at him. What game was Snape playing? He was being nice, that in itself was horribly frightening. Harry hummed with delight as the chill wind eagerly met him with an airy embrace, the noise of the breezes flippantly spreading through the trees was relaxing. It made him think of a place far from Hogwart's, like another planet. Only, that planet was shared with Snape.
"I know you lied Potter," Snape's sibilant utterance meddled with Harry's thinking. The younger wizard's expression was of one, using an old quote, 'caught like a deer in headlights.' The vivid emerald orbs permeated with something akin to fear. The boy's bronzed face switched to ghastly pallid, draining of the vivacious flush that so often accompanied the grinning youth's temperment.
Snape was waiting for an answer and the potion's master wasn't the most patient person. Cross that out, Snape wasn't a patient person at all! Harry twisted his hands in the folds of his shirt, stretching the material taut and then releasing it for its normal state. He kept his eyes trained on the beaten path. It was quite possible that Snape already knew, most notably from the indictment of earlier. What harm could it do to tell Snape? Harry knew he was a spy for the Light and Snape kept to himself so it wouldn't be taxing to his mentalility when angsting if Snape told or not. Harry kicked at a clump of grass. "I did lie sir." Snape nodded; he'd already known, of course. "Why should I tell you anything, sir?" Harry's voice was nearly a whimper.
"Because I am the only one who will listen unbiased; that includes Albus, Black, Lupin and your comrades."
"You've never given a damn about my welfare before."
Snape shrugged, that didn't concern him. What concerned him at the moment was hearing the truth from Potter's own mouth before he went to haggle Lucius. "Do you expect your little band of Gryffindor brats to treat you the same? No, they'll be disgustingly tender to you for the remainder of your life. Not only are you being chased by Voldemort but you were raped too? What a crime," Snape said dryly. "They'll fawn over you even more and make your life a living hell. Now, do you wish for them to know and be irritatingly touching or do you wish to just tell someone?"
Harry blinked at his teacher's words. He admitted that Snape was correct in his assumption. Just by being battered by an 'apparent' Quidditch accident he was being badgered like a cancer patient. Harry knew that Snape already had deduced the truth; he'd said as much himself. Harry wanted to tell and as strangely shocking as it seemed, Snape was the unlikely candidate to be the bearer of his tortured soul. "....You're right, sir. I was raped in the Broom Shed. You must really think I'm pathetic now? Ha! The Boy Who Lived couldn't even defend his own against another!" Harry laughed sardonically at himself.
"I do not think that, Potter." Harry swerved his head sharply to stare at Snape. "Rape is not something to be mocked and is definitely something not to feel pathetic about. They catch you when you least expect it, when you feel the safest and they take what you only have the right to give."
Harry was bewildered by the amount of compassion in the depthless obsidian eyes, albeit Snape's voice was sonorous and bland. "Has...has that happened to you, too?"
"One would be surprised by what happens when Voldemort isn't pleased with your contributions."
"You mean?! Voldemort's...raped you?"
"I believe that we do not to need to journey into my past, Potter," Snape hissed peevishly. Harry raised his hands in a defensive manner. "Despite popular opinion, I do not hate you, though I dislike your attitude immensely. At times, I wish to throttle your neck." Harry shuddered. "However, at this moment, I'm willing to hear anything you wish to prattle about."
"I..I ..dont know what to say..." he faltered.
Snape rolled his eyes toward the heavens. "The day Harry Potter was at a loss for words. Something for the history books." Harry pouted, sending a returned glare to Snape. "I'm afraid that won't work on me."
"Unfortunately," Harry grumbled.
Snape smirked. "It wouldn't bode well in my class if you were relented upon by a mere frown."
"That wasn't a frown." Snape raised a brow clearly indicating he didn't buy it. Harry sighed exasperately. He curled his lower lip down. "That was a frown," he said in voice of one who would talk to primary students. "This is a called a pout." Harry reesembled his features to the puppy dog visage, lower lip trembling and eyes watering. Snape snorted. "Still doesn't work it?"
"No. Its ridiculous."
"How is it ridiculous?"
"You look like your sucking a frog."
An indignant protest of a squeal and arms akimbo on his hips, Harry glowwered darkly. "I'll have you know that I've been given into plenty of times because of this look. Just because your used to scaring people witless doesn't mean that all of use the fear approach."
"Thank you for being so obtuse, Mr.Potter," Snape said feigning hurt.
"Ugh! I cannot believe I'm having this agruement with you, SIR," he stressed coldly.
"I see you retain that Gryffindor value that grates my nerves. I'm relieved that you haven't changed too much since the Incident." His tone wasn't the least bit warm.
"......I'm apologize sir. Its just that I've never seen this side of you. You were actually jesting with me there for a minute."
Snape shook his head dismally, halting at the lake. "Do not let that go to your head, Potter. I hold no affection, friendly or otherwise, with you. Sometimes...I'm.."
"Lonely?" Harry offered, ignoring the slanted glare. "Its alright to admit. Everyone does. I'll tell you a secret. I'm lonely too. Ron and Hermione are together. I'm happy for them but its hard not to feel like the third wheel. Three's a crowd, isn't it? My other friends are busy with chasing girls and boys. I guess I matured faster and am not as worried about that stuff. Girls aren't as important as surviving."
Snape stared at Harry for several long moments. Yes, Harry had grown up rapidly in a time of war. The signs were fresh on his boyish face; the beginnings of premature wrinkles and even a few streaks of grey was prominant in his hair though partially hidden by the inky black. Snape wouldn't admit it outloud but everything wasn't fair for Harry. Sure, Snape yelled at him in class for being the precious celebrity but in reality, Snape pitied him. Never to know his parents, always to be loved because of the scar that also made him an outcast because of the fame that went hand- in-hand together. He would always be running until Voldemort was once and for all defeated. Even then, things wouldn't be same. There was a great chance that Harry wouldnt survive much longer after Voldemort's death. Snape cursed himself for holding a minimal weakness in his heart for Harry but it was endearing. The boy was tortured mentally, emotionally, and now physically. Those triad of reasons were enough for Snape to ask the boy to go with him on the walk. Harry was too afraid to tell those closest to him about his suffering and the only one that could remotely understand was Snape himself.
Snape watched Harry skip stones on the surface of the rippling water. "Will you be alright, Potter? You won't consider anything idiotic, will you?"
"Like suicide?" Snape nodded. "....No. I'll be okay. I'll be fine," he said more quietly.
Snape didn't believe him but he decided not to press it. "We should return. Just because of our little talk, dont expect me to be lenient on you in my class."
"I wouldn't dream of it!" Harry snickered, following earnestly behind the scowling man.
~ * ~
rating: R
summary: Harry is raped by Lucius after a Quidditch match. set in his sixth year After feeling ill, he goes to Pomfrey who deduces that Harry is pregnant. She assigns Harry a caretaker....Severus Snape. O.o Will Snape go from cruel, harsh teacher to a loving, attentive foster father?
warnings: boy x boy love. MPREG, er Lucius turned into a total meanie. I love him to death but he was the only likely candidate and I was not going to have a Voldemort and Harry rape fic.
this chapter: RAPE! Not that descript. ~~~~~~
Chapter 1
Cold, gray eyes watched, ever intent. A pale hand moved aside a long lock of silvery blonde hair that veiled his vision momentarily. Lucius Malfoy waited, hidden near the Quidditch Pitch at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. With a smug smirk, Lucius patted his wand reassuringly. It wasn't as if Lucius liked to slink in the shadows, it was just his style. As a known Death Eater-though he vehemently denies it-and Voldemort's right hand man, Lucius couldn't afford to be spotted by the Hogwart fools. No, he would take what was his in secrecy. Noone would know of his deeds.
Cheering arose from the pitch, announcing Gryffindor the winner against Ravenclaw. Lucius smiled to himself, quickly hiding himself behind the shed that stored the Gryffindor's broomsticks. He knew that his conquest would be last to come. He watched the Quidditch team return to the main castle. The blonde spotted his prey and he sneered at the Boy-Who-Lived. The scruffy jet black hair, like his father's. The pure emerald green eyes that seemed to mock all those around him, courtesy of his Mudblood mother. His body was toned to perfection from years of Quidditch, sweat sheening in the waning summer sun.
Lucius gazed predatorily at the teenager, steps as stealthy as a panther on the hunt. He wanted to break the boy, wanted to make him shatter into a thousand pieces of glass. Lucius was going to strip Harry Potter of his virginity; the last of his innocence. Lucius approached the shed's entrance, entire body eager for what he was going to do. He could hear Harry curse to himself as several brooms fell from their places. Lucius took the oppurtunity to sneak inside. With a victory smile, Lucius shut the door and locked it with his most powerful locking spell. No light permeated the dingy old shed.
"Damnit. Lu-" Suddenly Harry's wand was taken from him and he heard the other voice. A drawl. Where had heard that same tone before? Harry's heart began to pace rapidly as panic set in. "Who...who's there?" Harry asked, his voice quivering. A hand descended upon his cheek, slapping him to the side. Harry's glasses slid off his nose. "Wha-" The same hand clamped on his mouth.
"Hush, Potter," Lucius said cooly, relishing in the fear that was radiating from Harry. "It would be in your best interest to not speak unless I give you permission." Harry struggled as Lucius straddled his waist, knees boxing him in. Tears flecked the green eyes, spilling onto Lucius's hand. He laughed mockingly. "Oh, how precious. The great Harry Potter is crying. Scared that I'm going to do something horrible to you." The boy bit into his hand. Lucius backhanded him again more painfully. "Your going to regret doing that!" he snarled, tearing at the boy's Quidditch robes.
Harry was in a state of petrifying shock as his shirt was shredded. Those nimble and soft fingers glided across his toned abdominal muscles, the tissues and skin rippling at the sensous glide of digits. He felt the fingers travel towards his pectorals, roughly tweaking a puckering nipple. Harry gasped, groaning painfully and slightly erotically from the brief shoot of pleasure that shot through his nerves.
Lucius smirked, pivoting his hips forward to dig into Harry's pelvic bone. He slapped the boy again, delighting in the sharp hiss of pain. Pain...it was so lovely to cause. An expanding crotch sent myriad webs of satisfaction into Lucius' demented mind. Harry was enjoying this more than he should have. "You like this, don't you Potter? You're a whore, Potter. Say it." A whimper is the only answer he recieved. "Do it!" Lucius commanded, raising his hand to strike.
"I'm a whore," Harry whispered, choking on his tears. His attacker laughed jovially, hand carressing and descending down his stomach, to his traitorous arousal. He bit into his lip, preventing the moan that threatened to escape. He would not let his defiler know he was getting enjoyment. It was his bodies natural reaction, especially at his age.
"The Savior of the Wizard World, not so great now are you Potter?" No reply. Lucius glibly shrugged a slender shoulder, fingers teasing the hardened appendage in his fist. What a better way to break one's enemy then taking away only what they owned; their purity and Lucius was taking that. He narrowed his eyes, tiny swirls of sadistic pleasure dancing in the grey depths at the closed green eyes and the bleeding lip.
Lucius ripped at Harry's cream hued pants, exposing his prize. He flipped Harry onto his stomach, earning a paniced gasp at the inferior position. "Don't be so conceited Potter, not everyone adores your pretty face. That scar is quite unbecoming, if I might say so myself." Lucius slipped a finger into the little orifice, unconciously licking his lips at the sheer tightness that greeted the questing digit. This would be too much fun.
Harry felt horrid pain journey from his rump, to his backside, everywhere! Harry wasn't completely ignorant to the entire gay sex syndrome, he'd seen it in a book on veelas. The texts wrote that if prepared, it would lessen the pain. Apparently, his tormenter wasn't going to do that. Harry tried to relax his body and except the invasion.
Lucius spread Harry's legs far, as far as they were allowed. He pulled his own pants down to his knees, positioning himself behind the boy. He angled himself in the certain place, knowing Harry would have to give into his bodies bliss. It wouldn't be long now.
Harry grunted as the solid length brushed against his prostrate gland. His lips would be raw and chapped by the time this was finished, he kept gnashing at them to prevent any sorts of desire sounds from going forth. The blunt head scraped against the cluster of nerves, working it roughly. His raper wasn't making a sound either, and Harry wondered exactly what kind of person he was.
Tilting his shaft some to better hit the gland, Lucius strained to hear any moans. Ah..there was one. How Harry must be in shame. "The Golden Boy, moaning like a wanton whore. Your nothing, your beneath me. I've taken your pride, haven't I Potter?" Crystalline tears were his only answer, but it was enough to know that he was right. "We all know how much you ignorant Gryffindor's love your pride."
Harry was ashamed and embarrassed. How dare this happen to him! He was supposed to be protected with the walls of Hogwarts! He was Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived! Harry moaned as his attacker drove deeper and faster. His mind wasn't disoriented enough to not think. Underneath all the pleasure, fear was taking root. Was this why he was being attacked? Because he was Harry Potter, the famous boy who had destroyed Voldemort inadvertenely?
Harry couldn't handle it anymore, it was too much sensory overload. With a cry, he released his seed, wincing when his attacker did the same, the liquid running down his legs. He winced as the man pulled his length from him. It hurt, so much! "Perhaps you'll take this as a lesson, Potter." Harry could hear the man zipping his pants and a muttering a cleaning charm. The door was opened, a thin stream of light going forth but Harry couldn't tell who his attacker was, the dark robes shrouded his face from view.
He lay there, in his own juices, too broken in spirit to move. How? How?! "HOW!" Harry yelled desperately to nobody in particular, slamming his fist onto the wood. He was supposed to be one of the, if not strongest behind Dumbledore, wizard and yet he couldn't fend off some sadist rapist. He struggled to rise, grimacing at the amounts of pain. Who had done it to him? Who would have had the gall to come inside of Hogwarts and acoust the famous student? And...who would have had the power to get inside the gates? It didn't add up. Shouldn't the wards of sounded? Shouldn't a stranger in a black robe be picked out and questioned? Why? Why was the security so disabled that they couldn't stop a stranger from entering?
It was too much for Harry to think about at the moment. He weakly dressed. He would have to consult Dumbledore and tell him. How was he going to go about that? "Oh sir, I just thought I'd tell you I was raped and the wards didn't seem to work." That would be swell. Harry sighed, running his hands through his tangled mop of black hair. He would have to tell Dumbledore. If this happened to him, it could happen to another student and Harry wasn't about to risk other lives with keeping the embarassing truth to himself.
~ * ~
Chapter 2
Harry kept to the shadows of the inner castle, desperately praying on every religion that he wouldn't be spotted and questioned. His robes were torn, his lip was more than likely bruised, and the scent of sex clung to him. His wand was in his room, locked in the trunk at the foot of his bed where his most prized possessions were, including the Invisibility Cloak, a few gifts he'd recieved over the years, the Marauder's Map, and his precious photograph Hagrid had given him first year.
He paused, waiting for group of students to pass. He wound through the corridors, seeking a safe passage to the Gryffindor Tower. His hope came when he spied a certain painting. The damsel in the frame pursed her lips at him, brows furrowing at the disheveled state of his being. "Harry, art thou well?" Harry nodded wordlessly to the woman. "I see. I shall let you go."
Harry entered the tunnel, letting a breat he'd been holding escape. Luckily for him, no-one knew of the existence of the tunnel save the Weasley twins and they were no longer at Hogwart's. The escape route would lead him directly through another painting in the Gryffindor Common Room. Fate was kin to Harry; the old knight in the frame allowed him entry every time and didn't ask absurd questions. Harry halted, rubbing his pained tail bone. He knew he wouldn't be playing Quidditch for a few days unless Madame Pomfrey knew of a quick healing agent.
He resumed his trekking, ceasing his gait upon arrival to the canvas. He nudged Perceval's two dimensional haven, awaiting for the man to appear. He did almost within secons. Perceval raised a bushy brow. "..Is there anyone in the Common Room?"
"Nay, there isn't." Perceval swung his portrait to the side, keeping a sharp eye on Harry as he ascended the stair case for the prefect's bathroom. Something was definitely not right. Perceval went to chat withthe lady at the other end.
The steam of the showers were comforting, the other players having finished probably minutes before. Harry scrubbed at his skin, wishing to ris himself of the filthiness of the rape. His hips were scratched and his thighs were bruised. Ugly purples combined with disgusting yellows in the shape of fingertips. Harry wasn't the most vain person but he didn't appreciate his creamy flesh being marred. It was also a constant reminder of his perversion.
Stepping from the stall, Harry wrapped the fluffy towel around his waist, feeling at last clean and free of the semen. He tip-toed to his room, walking on shards of glass, trying to his hardest to be silent in case hi dorm mates were inside. There was no sign of them. He dressed gingerly, avoiding the wounds on his body. He took his leisure time. He wouldn't be able to prevent the inevitable, he would have to tell Dumbledore sooner or later.
Harry limped downstairs, going towards the headmaster's office. He ignored the several stares in his direction, knowing they were thinking the entire opposite of what actually happened. Harry came to stand in front of the gargoyles at Dumbledore's office. "Fizzing Whizbees," he murmured. He wasn't that surprised that Dumbledore was already there, sitting behind his huge desk with his hands folded into the wide sleeves of his robe. "Sir."
"Harry, what might I help you with?" Albus asked but despite his words, the twinkle was absent from the blue eyes.
"Headmaster..I...I..." Harry swallowed the tears and the same that threatened to surface. He turned his head to the side. "I was raped in the Broomshed." A gasp from the often-senile wizard sent Harry over the edge. A tear dropped. "I couldn't stop it. My wand was in my room and I was too tired to fend him off with just my strength. I dont know who the person was but he was wearing a black robe."
"I think you should go to the Infirmary, now." Harry wasn't about to argue with the older man and fled like a bat out of hell-or as fast as he hobble- towards the place he went to often. Albus wearily rose to his feet. "Oh Harry," he said softly. The wards had been removed to do a routine check. How could the person have know that?
* * *
Harry's patience was wearing thin as Pomfrey dabbed at his bruises and wounds. The woman had made a fuss about it and of course, Pomfrey didn't know that it was because of a rape that Harry was hurting. He had lied and said it was because of Quidditch. He wasn't going to spill his shameful secret to anyone but those who needed to know and Pomfrey didn't. Harry tensed at the white bandages being taped onto his skin. That would hurt like a bitch to get off. He raised imploring green eyes. "May I go now?"
Pomfrey huffed, arms akimbo on her waist. "Fine Harry, go. If you have any more pain, come and tell me and I'll fix you up again."
"Thank you," Harry said to the offered Chocolate Frog. He walked slowly, decimating the poor candy frog, ripping its legs from its body first. He'd have to speak with Albus soon and question why the wards weren't working at the time of his defilement. Harry began to come up with plausible reasons for his limping. He could say it was Quidditch but his teammates would know it wasn't. Or...he could say he got some extra practice in and accidently fell of his broom. No..how could he have busted his lip that way? Harry groaned. He would just have to skip dinner and hope that by the following day, his lip would be healed enough that Ron and Hermione couldn't tell.
"Ouch!" he yelped, colliding with a solid structure and falling to the floor. He glared. "Out of all the-" He then realised that the 'structure' was in fact a person. He cringed at Professor Snape's glowwer fixed on him, just knowing the man was going to come up with some retort.
"Ten points from Gryffindor for not being in your designated vicinity. Unless you've become even more stupider, this is the way to the Slytherin Tower." Harry blinked. So it was. "Move Potter," Snape demanded with that cool, silken voice that sent chills down Harry's spine when he heard it.
Harry obeyed, not daring to risk Snape's choleric attitude. He frowned at the swirling obsidian robes. Why couldn't Snape be nice once in a while? Harry pivoted on his heel, fully intent on ~not~ advancing towards the realm of the Slytherin's. That would be foolhardy and dangerous. He dredded to think what Malfoy and his henchmen might do to him if he were discovered wandering aimlessly alone.
A hand clasped Harry's shoulder, the boy emitting a tiny squeak. It was Dumbledore. "Harry, I want you to come with me. I've summoned Sirius, Remus, and Severus to my quarters. I believe it best if you tell them what has happened rather than me."
Harry shook his head fervently. "No! I dont want them knowing!"
Albus led Harry back towards his office, not removing the gnarled hand from Harry's arm. "You could be in grave danger Harry. It would be wise to tell."
"But...what will they think?" Harry asked, oculates shining with worry.
"They will not judge you."
"Why does Snape have to be there?" he whined.
"Because he's a powerful wizard and he has ties to the Death Eaters."
Harry went deathly pale. "You..you think it was a Death Eater?!" he whispered in terrified revulsion.
"That I do but we will discuss this with your godfather, Professor Lupin, and Professor Snape."
Upon the second Harry's foot stepped into Albus's office, he was engulphed by a bone crushing hug. Harry bit back the cry of pain, worming his way from Sirius' tight embrace. He smiled wanly at the raven haired man, inching towards Remus. He hugged his Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher warmly. He merely frowned at Severus before settling into the seat beside Sirius. Albus began. "I know you are curious as to why I have summoned you all. Something...terrible happened today that could effect Mr.Potter's life if it doesn't go checked." Sirius glanced at Remus who in turn glanced at a scowling Severus. "Mr.Potter has deemed it best that he should be the one to tell."
"I was putting my broom up when I was attacked." Sirius' fist clenched, Remus putting a patient hand on his lover's. Severus's face was of indifference. "I dont know who he was except he was wearing a black robe." Harry couldn't meet Albus's disapproving gaze. "So..thats about it."
Sirius growled, getting to his feet. "How did this happen?! I swear I'll kill the bastard who hurt you!"
"I really do not think Potter needs to have his honor defended. Unless, he isn't tell the whole truth." Severus kept his perpetual glowwer on an uncomfortable Harry. "Are you telling the entire truth, Potter?"
"Of course he is you bloody fool!" Sirius snapped, hand itching to grab his wand. "Dont you fucking accuse Harry of lieing, stupid git!"
Severus didn't rise to the bait. "Let Harry say something in his own defense."
"He doesn't have to, not to you!"
"Sirius!" Remus barked, steering the irate Sirius from the composed Severus. "Thats enough! You two squabble like children! I'm sorry Headmaster but Sirius needs to be calmed down before we confront this ordeal. Harry, I think it would be wise if you came to spend the night in our rooms."
"Thats an excellent idea," Albus voiced.
Severus spoke as the door closed. "...He wasn't telling the truth, was he?"
Albus smiled. "Never could hide anything from you, Severus. However, it is not my place to say anything. If Harry had wanted you, or Sirius and Remus, to know then he wouldn't said so. Besides, you know that it was a Death Eater; who else could have known that today was the routine check. I also know that you know what happened to Harry in the shed without his testament."
Severus nodded sagely. "Unfortunately, I am aware of how Death Eaters work. I have to grade an assignment. Goodnight, Headmaster." He left, robes billowing like a cloud.
Albus grabbed a bar of candy, unwrapping it diligently. "And, if what I think has happened, our young Harry Potter will be providing you with some company." Albus smirked to himself, biting into the Zero bar. Yes, Severus wouldn't be able to resist Albus's wheedling.
~ * ~
Chapter 3
Harry watched as Sirius and Remus carried out their evening rituals. He felt imposing, staring at the love passing betwixt them with every look, every touch, every word. Harry had made it perfectly clear that he didn't want to be worried over the minute he and his godparents left Albus's office. They had relented, agreeing.
The innocent displays of affection before him was kind of heart wrenching. He immediately turned his vision to the window. It wasn't anywhere near dark yet, it being only mid-October. Harry coughed, catching the attention of his godparents. "I'm going for a walk. Don't wait up for me." He took his Invisibility Cloak from a plush chair, grinning slightly at Sirius and Remus.
"Alright, just be careful."
"I will," Harry responded to Remus. He yawned, stretching his arms above his head as he made his way into the corridor near the Gryffindor Tower. The couple had been adamant that their rooms be next to their old House. Harry shoved his hands into the pockets of his muggle jeans. It was becoming colder with the passing of autum into winter.
Harry paused at a gothic window. The signs were all evident. The changing of the leaves colors, the littering of the same leaves on the ground, the decaying plants, the stalks of flowers long since dead. The situation reminded him of his own. The plants were raped of their much needed sun and if not intervened by helping factors, they whither into nothingness. Harry's light was gone...who would save him?
He couldn't very well tell his friends; they would merely panic and be a bunch of worrisome prats. He didnt have a girlfriend, another oddity that Ron grossed over. Girls threw themselves at his feet and yet he didn't date them. Harry was starting to wonder if he was, Merlin forbid, gay. He didn't doubt it. He didn't really care. Just another abnormality to set him aside from the main populace.
His fingers unconciously traveled to his scar, pressing onto the blemished tissue. Why did he have to the bloody Boy Who Lived? He used to be just a normal...well..as close to normal as he could be, not had a worry about protecting the world, not had a worry about being too famous to even set into the wizarding world without being glomped. Despite what Malfoy thought, and a select other few, he didn't want the glory. He wanted to be just another boy.
There was only one person that didn't revere him, whether positive or negative, and that was Professor Snape. Snape made it clear that he hated him, repeatedly. Harry did not have a vague idea as to why he cared if Snape liked him or not. Harry sighed, staring at the main doors longingly. He wanted to take a stroll along the lake and perhaps, if it hadn't hibernate, a snake he could speak with and aleviate his problems to.
"Potter, you just can't adhere to the rules, can you?" Snapes voice caused Harry to jump. "Why did the mutt allow you to leave when he knows its unsafe for you to?"
"It doesn't matter sir. I wasn't going to leave the castle." Harry refused to meet Snape's searching onyx orbs.
"....I was on my way out. Would you care to join me?"
Harry snapped his head to gaze in wonder at his teacher. "Wh..Okay." He fell into step beside Snape, glancing suspiciously at him. What game was Snape playing? He was being nice, that in itself was horribly frightening. Harry hummed with delight as the chill wind eagerly met him with an airy embrace, the noise of the breezes flippantly spreading through the trees was relaxing. It made him think of a place far from Hogwart's, like another planet. Only, that planet was shared with Snape.
"I know you lied Potter," Snape's sibilant utterance meddled with Harry's thinking. The younger wizard's expression was of one, using an old quote, 'caught like a deer in headlights.' The vivid emerald orbs permeated with something akin to fear. The boy's bronzed face switched to ghastly pallid, draining of the vivacious flush that so often accompanied the grinning youth's temperment.
Snape was waiting for an answer and the potion's master wasn't the most patient person. Cross that out, Snape wasn't a patient person at all! Harry twisted his hands in the folds of his shirt, stretching the material taut and then releasing it for its normal state. He kept his eyes trained on the beaten path. It was quite possible that Snape already knew, most notably from the indictment of earlier. What harm could it do to tell Snape? Harry knew he was a spy for the Light and Snape kept to himself so it wouldn't be taxing to his mentalility when angsting if Snape told or not. Harry kicked at a clump of grass. "I did lie sir." Snape nodded; he'd already known, of course. "Why should I tell you anything, sir?" Harry's voice was nearly a whimper.
"Because I am the only one who will listen unbiased; that includes Albus, Black, Lupin and your comrades."
"You've never given a damn about my welfare before."
Snape shrugged, that didn't concern him. What concerned him at the moment was hearing the truth from Potter's own mouth before he went to haggle Lucius. "Do you expect your little band of Gryffindor brats to treat you the same? No, they'll be disgustingly tender to you for the remainder of your life. Not only are you being chased by Voldemort but you were raped too? What a crime," Snape said dryly. "They'll fawn over you even more and make your life a living hell. Now, do you wish for them to know and be irritatingly touching or do you wish to just tell someone?"
Harry blinked at his teacher's words. He admitted that Snape was correct in his assumption. Just by being battered by an 'apparent' Quidditch accident he was being badgered like a cancer patient. Harry knew that Snape already had deduced the truth; he'd said as much himself. Harry wanted to tell and as strangely shocking as it seemed, Snape was the unlikely candidate to be the bearer of his tortured soul. "....You're right, sir. I was raped in the Broom Shed. You must really think I'm pathetic now? Ha! The Boy Who Lived couldn't even defend his own against another!" Harry laughed sardonically at himself.
"I do not think that, Potter." Harry swerved his head sharply to stare at Snape. "Rape is not something to be mocked and is definitely something not to feel pathetic about. They catch you when you least expect it, when you feel the safest and they take what you only have the right to give."
Harry was bewildered by the amount of compassion in the depthless obsidian eyes, albeit Snape's voice was sonorous and bland. "Has...has that happened to you, too?"
"One would be surprised by what happens when Voldemort isn't pleased with your contributions."
"You mean?! Voldemort's...raped you?"
"I believe that we do not to need to journey into my past, Potter," Snape hissed peevishly. Harry raised his hands in a defensive manner. "Despite popular opinion, I do not hate you, though I dislike your attitude immensely. At times, I wish to throttle your neck." Harry shuddered. "However, at this moment, I'm willing to hear anything you wish to prattle about."
"I..I ..dont know what to say..." he faltered.
Snape rolled his eyes toward the heavens. "The day Harry Potter was at a loss for words. Something for the history books." Harry pouted, sending a returned glare to Snape. "I'm afraid that won't work on me."
"Unfortunately," Harry grumbled.
Snape smirked. "It wouldn't bode well in my class if you were relented upon by a mere frown."
"That wasn't a frown." Snape raised a brow clearly indicating he didn't buy it. Harry sighed exasperately. He curled his lower lip down. "That was a frown," he said in voice of one who would talk to primary students. "This is a called a pout." Harry reesembled his features to the puppy dog visage, lower lip trembling and eyes watering. Snape snorted. "Still doesn't work it?"
"No. Its ridiculous."
"How is it ridiculous?"
"You look like your sucking a frog."
An indignant protest of a squeal and arms akimbo on his hips, Harry glowwered darkly. "I'll have you know that I've been given into plenty of times because of this look. Just because your used to scaring people witless doesn't mean that all of use the fear approach."
"Thank you for being so obtuse, Mr.Potter," Snape said feigning hurt.
"Ugh! I cannot believe I'm having this agruement with you, SIR," he stressed coldly.
"I see you retain that Gryffindor value that grates my nerves. I'm relieved that you haven't changed too much since the Incident." His tone wasn't the least bit warm.
"......I'm apologize sir. Its just that I've never seen this side of you. You were actually jesting with me there for a minute."
Snape shook his head dismally, halting at the lake. "Do not let that go to your head, Potter. I hold no affection, friendly or otherwise, with you. Sometimes...I'm.."
"Lonely?" Harry offered, ignoring the slanted glare. "Its alright to admit. Everyone does. I'll tell you a secret. I'm lonely too. Ron and Hermione are together. I'm happy for them but its hard not to feel like the third wheel. Three's a crowd, isn't it? My other friends are busy with chasing girls and boys. I guess I matured faster and am not as worried about that stuff. Girls aren't as important as surviving."
Snape stared at Harry for several long moments. Yes, Harry had grown up rapidly in a time of war. The signs were fresh on his boyish face; the beginnings of premature wrinkles and even a few streaks of grey was prominant in his hair though partially hidden by the inky black. Snape wouldn't admit it outloud but everything wasn't fair for Harry. Sure, Snape yelled at him in class for being the precious celebrity but in reality, Snape pitied him. Never to know his parents, always to be loved because of the scar that also made him an outcast because of the fame that went hand- in-hand together. He would always be running until Voldemort was once and for all defeated. Even then, things wouldn't be same. There was a great chance that Harry wouldnt survive much longer after Voldemort's death. Snape cursed himself for holding a minimal weakness in his heart for Harry but it was endearing. The boy was tortured mentally, emotionally, and now physically. Those triad of reasons were enough for Snape to ask the boy to go with him on the walk. Harry was too afraid to tell those closest to him about his suffering and the only one that could remotely understand was Snape himself.
Snape watched Harry skip stones on the surface of the rippling water. "Will you be alright, Potter? You won't consider anything idiotic, will you?"
"Like suicide?" Snape nodded. "....No. I'll be okay. I'll be fine," he said more quietly.
Snape didn't believe him but he decided not to press it. "We should return. Just because of our little talk, dont expect me to be lenient on you in my class."
"I wouldn't dream of it!" Harry snickered, following earnestly behind the scowling man.
~ * ~