Okay, so I don't think this is the best poem I have ever written, but I like it. I need all your opinions... is the ending a bit weak and rushed? If I need to add another couple of stanzas, please, let me know; any suggestions are welcomed and helpful, also.
Many thinks to Artemis Rex for letting me borrow Laura Jude. I love her character to death!
I hope that my poetry doesn't make your eyes bleed, and I hope that I've gotten Dallas Winston right in here... His life is a little different than the book, I think, but starting him off at five seemed the best way to make this poem work. So, I hope that you like, and please -PLEASE!!- leave a review for what I can work on. Flames are welcomed, but I'd appreciate it if there was at least something to do with constructive criticism. Thank you all!
Stephanie
Dallas
At five years old
The young boy left
Destined a life
Of let down and theft
At seven he met
Friends of gold
Nothing is better
So he's been told
At ten he was
Thrown in jail
Toughening the boy
Who was once frail
At thirteen there was
A scuffle a many
And still he would not
Beg for a penny
At fifteen he dropped
Out of school
Committing to nothing
And condemning all rules
At eighteen he fell
To a bullet's fury
And no funds were earned,
For them to bury….
If he had made it to twenty
He would have found
That his mind and body
Were both safe and sound
His friends were his family
And Laura his bride
No more running
Or having to hide
Had Dallas Winston
Not chosen death
There would be no reason
To hold a breath
Had Dallas Winston
Only seen
His life could be
So serene
But with him gone
There is no day
That Laura Jude
Does not pray
'Help him through,'
She continuously pleads
While inside she burns
And screams, and bleeds
Had Dallas Winston
Stayed alive
He would now have a son
Who was turning five
Well, there it was; please R&R