A/N: This story is about a colony of superior aliens and what they may think of us if they are out there. I assure you that E.T. and his friends will come in soon enough also.

Far beyond our own galaxy, beyond all of the stars that we can see, beyond our milky way, beyond the Andromeda, towards the edges of the universe itself is the planet Hera which is inhabited by a race of beings vastly superior to any others. These are the Herods. They are tall with long skinny limbs and hairless bodies which are blueish green in color. They have seven fingers and seven toes. Their heads are in the shape of a sideways egg with large beady black eyes and a tiny nose and a very slim mouth.

Just now the leader of the Herods was sitting in his office in which everything looked like it was made of shiny silvery paper but was actually a kind of metal. He sat in a high backed chair which looked reminiscent of a medieval throne. His eyes were currently squinted into two narrow slits and his nostrils were sucked in and his mouth was turned almost completely downward and he was also drumming his seven fingers on the armrest of his chair. Then suddenly his eyes became large again, his nostrils flared, and his mouth became a thin straight line and he reached out and dialed in something on his office phone.

The highly advanced technology responded to the code and on a screen twice the size of the average movie screen appeared the image of his Chief in Command. "Yes, sir. How may I help you?" he asked in their foreign alien tongue.

"Send in my Head of Council, and hurry!" he demanded.

"Right away, sir," replied the Chief in Command and then the screen went blank again.

Then almost immediately a bright white light appeared underneath a giant telepod and the Head of Council appeared and stepped up to his leader and bowed deeply. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Yes, indeed," he replied, "for I have had a lot of pressing matters on my mind as of late."

"And what might those matters relate to, sir?" inquired the Head of Council.

"The planet Earth," he replied shortly.

The Head of Council stared wide-eyed at him and replied, "This confuses me, sir. I mean, the planet Earth is trillions of light years away from us and it is inhabited by the most universally uneducated beings in existence."

"That is exactly what I mean," he replied. "You've seen what a despicable race they are ever since they first started broadcasting their news reports via satellite sixty years ago when we listened to the translations of those awful speeches made by that insolent dictator. He was the very worst of all of the humans I have observed. He wanted his fellow humans burned alive just because they believed in a different religion than he did. And why do they have any religion at all anyway? All it does is cause them to start wars like the one they were having all over their world when we first heard from them."

"If I may say so, sir," said the Head of Council. "That was over sixty years ago and now they have emerged into a whole new millennium so perhaps now that old dictatorship has passed on and there is now a much better leader guiding their race."

His leader considered this. "Hmm... You may be right, my friend. Let's have a look at what is in their news these days shall we?"

He then picked up a long pointed object on his desk which resembled a TV remote control and aimed it at the enormous screen in front of them and pressed a series of buttons and instantly images appeared on it. They saw two jet planes crash into the tallest buildings and as the smoke built up around them they collapsed in heaps of ash and rubble. Over this was a news speaker explaining that the terrorist attack was the result of the religious fanaticism of the Muslims.

"Would you look at those idiots just throwing away their one and only life for nothing!" exclaimed the Herod leader in great disgust. "We on this planet have always known there is no life after death for when we die our bodies and our brains disintegrate into nothingness and our brains are the only thing which makes us who we are and nothing else at all. And yet those pathetic human creatures have the audacity to believe that when they die they have souls which go either to eternal bliss or to eternal torment, and there are those who think that if they kill themselves and their enemies they will receive seventy-two virgins in their own personal paradise! Ha! As if such a thing could be possible!"

"I certainly agree, sir," said the Head of Council. "Now let us see what the leader of this unfortunate country has had to say about it."

And so saying they switched the air waves to an image of gray haired and squinty eyed man declaring a war on Iraq because his God had told him to invade the terrorists land and they also heard him declare that people who don't believe in God should not be considered citizens in his country.

"Oh the horror!" wailed the Herod leader. "He is just a worse as the evil dictator from half a century ago! And what is wrong with those creatures believing him? If he was to say he was going to start a war because Zeus had told him to then they would never believe him, but it seems as long as anything is about their own God they will believe it. How can they not realize that those enemies of their also have their own god whom they all believe they are fighting for and they cannot both be right or otherwise there would be a real war going on all over the universe!"

He paused to catch his breath. "And that also reminds me of another thing that has been at the center of my nerves for a long time."

"And what is that, sir?" inquired the Head of Council.

"Have you not seen how they portray us in those moving pictures they make for artistic expression?" he inquired incredulously. "They portray us as being hostile humanoid beasts or monsters who want to take over their puny little excuse for a planet for no reason and they show as being even more warlike than they are! How dare they! They are the ones killing each other, we're not! We never want to kill anyone, we don't need to. We have so much better ways of defending ourselves than mere violence which they all so commonly resort to."

"Pardon me, sir," said the Head of Council boldly. "But have you actually observed the lifestyle and customs of these beings themselves when they're outside of war and dictatorship?"

"Why yes I have indeed," he said. "And I can tell you they are just a mess! There is this married couple called the Ricardos and their marriage just doesn't work as the woman is the epitome of disaster, and also they can't decide whether they are friends or enemies with their neighbors! And there are seven of them stranded on an island and they want to get home and yet they seem to have made a comfortable enough home for themselves there and they are the most ignorant and naive humans you will ever see that it is difficult for me to believe they are all adults, even that so called Professor is annoyingly dimwitted, so it's no wonder no one who watches them wants to rescue them. They also don't seem to realize they have extra-terrestrial living amongst them for there was this one in America by the name of Pee-Wee Herman and he is such a manic and lives so separately from everyone that he has just got to be from the planet Patooie! There is also one in England by name of Bean and he also lives so separately and is clumsy and is so unnervingly childish he just has to be from the planet Garbanzo! And as if that weren't worse enough they can't solve their problems by themselves without having a furry creature called Lassie there for them. Their young are also growing into terrorists as I've seen from one named Dennis who is always terrorizing the life out of his elderly neighbor!"

He stopped and clutched at the sides of his head. "Oh I do have a headache from going on and on about it like so!"

"Forgive me, sir," said the Head of Council remorsefully bowing his head slightly.

"Although I will admit there a few very rare ones who are good and kind civilians," the Herod leader said after a moment. "Such as that one by the name of Rogers who talks about two different worlds. His own and another called Make-Believe. I wouldn't mind meeting with him and maybe discussing what can be done about the others who are so uptight and uncivil."

"I'm sure you would," said the Head of Council. "Unfortunately though I heard he passed on around the time of this year."

The Herod leader sighed. "If only if there were leaders who were like him with the wisdom of the universe who could set good examples for everyone and guide them toward a civilization suitable to be visited properly by other species. And if there are others like him they are far outnumbered by the ones who aren't and are usually in no place to prevent the kind of catastrophes that we have just seen broadcasted."

"Well, sir, perhaps we could be their new leaders," said the Head of Council.

The Herod leader looked at him in mild puzzlement. "My friend, what are you suggesting?"

"That we reestablish the human race as a species in our own way by separating the good from the bad," replied the Head of Council.

"Hmm..." the Herod leader contemplated this. "I suppose we could as we have the technology to abduct the mercilessly uncivil humans and then once aboard one of our ships we could rehabilitate their minds back to infancy so that they may learn again. But what are we going to do about those of them who see them vanish, especially the good, civilized ones?"

"Well, I suggest we drop off all the good ones upon a little planet that is orbiting in our solar system," said the Head of Council. "It is a lot like the Earth was when it first became hospitable for life only twice the size. And we may as well leave them them there to refurbish, after all their own Earth is now so messed up that it is becoming increasingly more inhospitable to all kinds of life so I'd say that their planet is doomed anyway, all thanks to them."

"Yes, very good points made," agreed the Herod leader. "Very good then, we shall begin our mission as soon as possible. Have the ships put to ready!"

"Yes, sir!" exclaimed the Head of Council.