The paint on the walls is suffocating me. It clouds me with illusions. I remember what happened just a few hours ago. Before I let tears escape my body, before going into a state of hallucination, I was happy, I was scared and I was with him, Ryuhou. He was the reason I lived, the reason why I came to HOLY and it was the foremost reason why I'm sitting in my room waiting for me to set free.
It was a tough decision, if I had been sane, but I'm not. My mind is clouded and this is my decision. The fate I hold in my hands, the fate of green. Jealousy and I. He never loved me; I knew it when he looked at me, when he spoke to me. Why didn't I listen to him until it was just too late?
But… I can't take it anymore. I just can't and so, here I am, holding the thick, scented liquid to my lips. My hands, shaking so badly. I tipped the whole thing down my throat and squeezed my eyes as tears pricked the edges and the acid burn it's way down my throat to the pit of my stomach.
I notice immediately that it starts to work it's magic. I felt a chill up my spine when it was clearly hot out. The windows were closed also. Few seconds after the coldness that had swept my body, the feeling of being numb creeps up my skin from the feet and was gradually going up.
It was agonizing, the pain. The coldness, the numbness, all of it was slow. What happened to quick death? I didn't want to feel this…I wanted… oh god, why do I have to cry now when it's almost over? This poison I call Ryuhou. You made me feel this way and it was you, who are the reason I'm dying right now. And it is you, who I see coming through the door before my last breath. And it is you, Ryuhou, whose love is like poison.
OWARINote: Sorry, I was feeling a bit down two weeks ago when I wrote this. Creepy, I know but that's the person I am. So sorry if I made you think weird of me.