Spooks is owned by BBC/Kudos.
My mother was the only person I ever wanted to make proud. I was her only child, her only son, her only love. My father died just before I turned twenty eight. Mother had been devastated. I was all she had left and I wanted to give her the happiness that she deserved.
I couldn't stand being a disappointment. She thought that working in IT was useless and not something my father would approve of. I knew then I would never get a more perfect opportunity to tell her the truth, or my version of the truth anyway. It was then I told my mother I worked for MI5, which as you know is true. I didn't, however, tell her I worked within the IT sector, helping face cross and sound check etc. I told her I did what Adam did. Out in the field saving lives in the flesh rather than sat behind a computer screen at a desk in Thames House.
Her life became textbook. She would wake, make some breakfast, go and buy her necessities. She would return home, knit for a while, and watch the lunchtime news. Neighbours would follow swiftly afterwards and she'd spend the next few hours engrossed in her favourite book, before tuning into channel four to watch countdown. I would have to call regularly, just so that she knew I was ok, safe and well.
The EERIE drill really put into perspective what I refused to acknowledge. I knew exactly what she'd be doing when she was doing it. She'd become so reliant on my calls, so intent on making sure I don't interrupt her daily activities that I could tell you at any time and at any place what she would be doing. When I had contemplated calling my mother during the drill, I knew it was for good reason, but I became so scared of breaking her routine I never made the call.
What kind of son would refuse to call his mother in the face of death because she would be watching countdown?
When I was sent to America to deal with the British plane that was crashed there, the thought of being killed by the chemicals that had been released terrified me. I realised that I was actually leading the life I had convinced my mother I was. I felt proud. I had the power to save lives, even if it meant sacrificing my life.
I found out I was safe and I wasn't infected. Upon returning home I couldn't help but smile.
My mother thought it was an honour for her son to save the lives of innocent people.
It was an honour for me to know that she was proud and I hadn't disappointed her after all.
We were all we had.
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