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Etna Route
Rewritten. If you found any wrong-spellings and grammatical problems, please, do not hesitate to review it. It will help me gain valuable critics and it will assure a great quality work.
I neither own Disgaea, nor its franchise.
The Netherworld. A wretched hive of vilainy and evil.
Living there with his vassal is the Overlord. A demon king by another name, and is one. Even if only for a while, the Netherworld had seen many changes, and in the process it also grew. One such occassion was the battle between the angels and the demons, and when the Netherworld and Celestia merged.
To be exact, Laharl witnessed those changes from the first day he woke up after a ten year of slumber. He started out petty and affable, before slowly gaining the edge of what made him a better person—er, demon—and became someone which everyone can respect. His vassals started disjointed and apathetic, but after he became the true overlord, there was nary any opposition.
It was not until the Celestia and the Netherworld merging that caused a rebellion. Formed from the vassals of his father, Laharl corrected again what is right from wrong, and even managed to get another set of vassals under his command.
But, for some reason, something outrageous came when he was busy writing his paperworks.
A letter sent by the current Archangel of Celestia.
"Who authorized this idea! Etna, tell me this is just some elbaorate prank by the angels!"
"Um... yeah, no. Angels aren't exactly liars. There are a few, but they're never a virtue to begin with. They're just people with bird-feathers behind them."
"Well is this letter real or not!?" Laharl roared from his desk. "I can't exactly consentrate here when my conscience is being assaulted!"
"Prince, you're a Demon. You don't have a conscience." Etna laughed. "But fine, if that will humor you, I can take a nice peek inside this letter. Honestly, to make a proud demon such as the Prince himself be harassed by the mere thought of it. Celestia must have extremely good vocabulary and penmanship."
She peeked inside the letter.
"...Prince, is this a joke?"
"That's what I want to know!" He turned to Barbara, who was repeatedly punching the stamp onto the legal documents. He's reluctant to do this, but he had more pressing matters to attend. "Barbara, can you work at the speed of three people!?"
"...I consider that as an insult."
"Good. Etna, prepare your spear and bring your brother along with you. We're going to have a little picnic in Celestia."
"Should I pack a lunch?" Etna grinned. Honestly, she was dying to get out of this cramped-up room and ditch those stupidly numerous and complex paperwork. She's not born for paperwork, and her spear collections have been itching for flesh and blood. "I'm in the mood for some Galactic Celestian Dragon Tenderloin myself."
"You know what Etna? So am I." Laharl grinned maliciously as he went out of his bedroom. "Let's have ourselves a feast."
Chapter 1 : From Celestia with Love
Latia hana~ La da da La da da
Two humanly figure and a prinny arrived in-front of the gate of Celestia. It works more like a teleporter than an arrogant-looking tall door. Laharl relished the idea of knocking the door open, but sadly it doesn't work like that.
They're having a blast hunting the Celestia Dragon, but after eating a big chunk of tenderloin meat and some ribs, they're bored.
Very, very bored.
"Excuse me, Prince." Xenolith opened his beak and came a squeaky voice. "I am rather skeptical about this letter. Are you absolutely sure that it came from Celestia, and not from any other location. There are demons who like to prank indiscriminately... dood."
"I'm sure, Xenolith. I'm absolutely sure." He knocked on the large and towering door. "Now help me knock this door."
"Knock it down... dood?"
"No, we'll have to be polite here." Laharl explained. He shuddered for a second before conttinuing. "I don't want to explode the already strained relationship between these two worlds out of proportion. I had enough trouble governing one, but now I have to govern two worlds, and tend to the other's needs and crisis."
"See Xenolith, Prince is not really that stupid of a guy afterall." Etna laughed as she knocked on the doom-looking gigantic-sized door. "And to think that your entire motivations were to kill him for your own personal vendetta."
"...To say I am not ashamed is a lie, but I have no doubts now. I, Xenolith will be your humble, loyal, and very devoted—"
The door shook as it opened.
"Oh hey the door opened." Laharl smiled. He walked past Etna and went inside, completely ignoring Xenolith's humble, loyal and very devoted vow. "Come on Etna, let's go vist that love freak and mooch of her mom's cookies."
"Coming~" Etna grinned playfully. "Bro, you coming with?"
"—vassal of Overlord Laharl." He sighed. He is fine being ignored, but the wound from his past lingered inside him. He wasn't really expecting an easy forgiveness, but being outright dismissed by the man he really respect still hurt him. "...dood."
"Aw... cheer up bro. I'm sure the Prince already forgot about your whole existence. He thinks that you're just an insignificant, weak, useless, and problematic vassal. No need to be so reserved with us on your travels. Oh, and call me Miss Etna from now. Techincally you're now my vassal. I made a once-in-a-lifetime wish to that brat afterall."
Xenolith genuflected on the ground.
"Sister, your words. It hurts... dood."
"Tee hee. You need to toughen up then!" Etna trailed off inside the gate and vanished. "Now let's go and mooch some cookies from Flonne's Mom. You will be in-charge of cooking and cleaning-up the dishes."
Xenolith slowly stood up and went inside the gate. He's just accepting the fact that he had done something wrong in the past, and is going to atone for it. Someday, somehow, he will be forgiven, but until then he had to bear with his particular dilemma.
"Laharl!"
"S'up Flonne?" Laharl raised his hand. "As usual, your mother's cookies are still the best of the best."
"Quit flattering me Laharl, how about you go flatter my daughter instead?" Flonne's mom chirped from the kitchen. Hearing her words, Flonne blushed and silenced herself. She retorted by softly and gently replied to her mom. "Geez, Mom. Stop embarassing me in-front of Laharl!"
"I don't know Flonne. Even without your Mom, you've already embarassed yourself." Etna laughed after picking up a piece of cookie from the jar. "Remember the time where you used to run around the castle like a ninja? Saying "nin nin" as an emphasis exclusively when you were pretending to be one?"
"That... that didn't happen!"
"But it did." Laharl chuckled. "And you're really into it too. Never stop being yourself Flonne. Never stop being yourself."
"Atleast someone knows how to compliment people."
"Yes, yes, our Prince is a lady-killer, isn't he?" Etna muttered. "So, Flonne. We want to see the Seraph. Is he available?"
"Not really, no." Flonne said. "Seraph Lamington have been busy managing his own end of work. Archangel Viruga have been helping him non-stop, but even then they were still overwhelmed."
"That's what you get for allowing demons to complain. They will not stop until they are given a beating. Where are these complaints coming from anyway? That Lamington wasn't exactly clear which of my worthless subjects went to him."
"Not all of them were complaints." Flonne sighed. "Some of them were actually petitions to continue merging Celestia with the Netherworld."
Etna was taken aback. She took another cookie and ate it. "Demons actually favoring the Celestia Merger? Alright Prince, I think we know what we will do for stress-relief this time." She smiled. Her face turned wicked as she walked to the nearest door.
"Etna, do you know where those groups are located?"
"No." Etna claimed, but she's still full of vigor. "But if you've found out, I'll be waiting outside. Pass me that jar of cookie, Prince. I need to do a little... practice."
Laharl frowned.
Tossing the cookie, Etna caught it before going out. She grinned with her face proclaiming: "I'm going to eat the hell out of this cookies." Before going out. Soon-after, lots of explosions and screams could be heard outside. Along with police sirens and screams of war.
"Damnit Etna. I'm sorry Flonne, but it seemed that we have to finish it up for now. So where did those petitions came from anyway?"
"I recall it was from an Evil Academy some-ways from here. It was called... "Maritsu?" I think." Flonne went empty-headed as she thought about this one-particular building. A dome-shaped school with flying pig-zombies and happy-looking demons in tuxedos and ballgowns sitting down on classrooms with a tentacle monster girl as their teacher.
Laharl knew that place, afterall, Sicily is studying there.
"Thanks Flonne. I'll see you later."
"Wait, Laharl." Flonne called and she made the Overlord turned his head at her.
"Hm?" His antenna was raised. He looked at Flonne who was blushing and fidgeted for every second she stood in-front of the chair she was sitting on. A minute passed and the silence was still there. Flonne, giving up, just went with a simple and short "Nevermind," before she looked at Laharl.
"Be safe, Laharl."
"You don't need to tell me that. Geez."
Flonne giggled.
"I'm sorry."
When Laharl walked outside Flonne's house, the situation was unbearably bad that he had to fled from Celestia in a hurry. Taking Etna and Xenolith out for a road-trip to an academy at one edge of the Netherworld, he felt like this problem was more than it was worth doing.
Arriving at their designated location, the redhead beamed at its grand entrance.
"Wow, so this is what a school for demons looks like."
"...You've never went to school before, Etna?"
Etna shook her head. "Nope. I do get the necessary education from Lord Krichevskoy's Vassal program. It was sufficient for me, but what about you, Prince? Would you like to try tripping a flag straight out of those late-night animes Flonne likes to watch?"
"Heh. Hell no. I'm already an Overlord. I don't need to learn something I didn't need in the first place. Especially from this dinky little place." He let out his signature guffaw. "Let's find Sicily. I bet she's here somewhere."
"Why did you enroll Sicily here, Prince?"
"She said that she would like to study where Lanzarotte used to study. Coincidentally, there was a rumor of students plotting their rebellion against me here. So I send my sister to carry out a troublesome mission, aren't I a genius?"
Etna sighed. Her palm was slammed to her face.
Xenolith interjected.
"If I may say a word, Prince." He said with his flippers crossed. "Don't you think that your sister will be overpowered by the students here? After all, they are demons, and demons aren't exactly the nicest person you'll find across the street... dood."
Laharl shrugged. His hand gestured jokingly. "She's my sister. Any sister of mine should be able to overtake two or three kingdoms without fail. Are you doubting what Sicily is capable of?"
"Well, yeah. However you slice it, she's still a kid."
"You're also a kid."
"Pot calling the kettle black!" Etna shouted.
With that, they grumbled and argued as they went inside the Evil Academy. As they went inside, the surroundings are full with glitters and the walls have been painted white and pink. Those are the colors not befitting of a demon. It was so shocking that the arguing stopped, and Laharl began questioning what the hell is happening here.
"You. Treant Demon!" Laharl picked a student out of the bunch.
"M-Me?" The treant-demon stopped, looked at Laharl, and pointed his finger onto himself. "Um... are you talking to me?"
"Yes I am. Answer me, who did this?" He pointed all over the wall and it sends fear deep inside the treant-demon. "Who painted the walls white like this?"
"I-I am not allowed to talk about this! W-Who are you anyway! What will you gain from getting this particular information!? Are you being sent here by somebody to interrogate me!? Oh no, no, no, no, no. Not again! SECURITY!"
As soon as the treant-demon called for Security, a bunch of Hall Monitors showed up.
"What's going on here!?" A menacing-looking green-haired female warrior came from the hallway, leading the charge with about a dozen of hall monitors behind her. "You two and prinny. Are you the one who made this wuss to scream bloody murder!?"
"I-I am not a wuss!" The treant demon protested.
"Yes you are." Laharl assured.
"You're beyond help man. Try being a little less of a scaredy-cat next time." Etna followed.
"But I'm not a cat!"
Xenolith sighed. "It seems that this demon does not get what we're saying... dood. May I have permission to silence him, My Lord?"
"Permission granted: You may silence this man, Xenolith. Make it quick."
"As you wish, Lord." Xenolith moved in and aimed two of his short-daggers around and in-front of the treant demon. He was about to slash him, but a hall monitor stepped in and blocked the slash with his halberd.
"As much as a wuss that he is, I'm not letting you hurt him." The female-samurai said. "Afterall, he is my man, damnit!"
"Meiko..." The treant-demon went teary eyed and blushing. "Meiko, I lo—"
"Nope." Etna moved to the treant-demon's back and pierced an Elder Spear through him. His eyes enlarged as the mana inside him went raving mad. It was then that he exploded into a burst of mana. "I'm not letting you power-up with the power of love."
"OOOOOLLSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
"So his name was Olson? Then you might want to ressurect him at the infirmary now."
"I will! Chief, permission to leave this battle!" Meiko's scream were directed to the leading hall monitor.
"No!" The chief protested.
"Understood! I will now resign myself from hall monitor. Wait for me Olson. I will save you!"
And then the female-samurai ran off.
The leading hall monitor sighed.
"Damnit Meiko." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "I should've known that it will end like this. Those two are insufferable for each other."
"Tell me about it." Laharl snickered. He was having fun with the situation just now. "Give me your next move, Monitor Head. Before I smash your face, that is."
"Wh—What the heck is a Monitor Head? Do I look like I have a freaking monitor for a face!?"
"No, but you sure are not a foe to be reckoned." Laharl grinned. He glared at every last one of the hall monitor, exuding an aura of battle and promising no return for those who partake in the fight. "Get off of your damned high horse Monitor Head. You're not even worth ten seconds—no—you're not even worth any seconds of my time. Now I suggest you move it. Unless you want to know what a meteor felt like on your face!"
"Wh-Who would even... can you even do that!? A meteor on my face!? Big talk is cheap, but can you actually do it!?"
Laharl was intrigued.
"Alright, stand there and I'll show you." He raised his arm and stretched out his hand. A portal is opened and from it came out a large meteor, slowly gliding out the portal and down to Monitor Head. It slowly inched its way closer and closer to her face.
The whole hall monitor squadron left, but Monitor Head just stared at it with tears and a dead smile that was plastered onto her face.
"Enough!" A girl leaped out of the shadow and three spotlight shone, revealing her identity. "Evildoers must be punished! This meteor is clearly the source of all evil. So I shall destroy it!"
The girl hunched. Her hand forming a fist before launching it onto the meteor. The meteor cracked before exploding grandly. The pieces of the meteor went everywhere except the wall, implanting themselves on the floor. Landing on the ground, the girl turned to Laharl.
"You, evil-doer! How dare you. Launching a meteor without the Dean's permission!"
"Hmph, you think I'm scared just from you destroying my meteor!? That wasn't even an EX-ranked Meteor. I was going easy on you."
Both of them smirked at each other, before both of them jousted into the air.
Then there was the clashing of fists. It sends shockwaves through the school's main hall and onto the hallways. The classroom's glasses explodes and so did the hallways'. Those two exchanged blows after blows evven after they landed on the ground. It was rhythmic and dynamic, but the girl soon was out-paced by Laharl.
With an opening, Laharl striked his fist, but stopped before it reached Sicily.
"You still need to fight better."
"I'm trying my best. Big Brother." Sicily leaped to Laharl and hugged him. "It's good to see you."
Laharl chuckled as he gently pushed Sicily away from him.
"Alright, that's enough sibling bond for now." He grinned. "So, how was it? Is this school of demons as amazing as you said it were from the mails you send me?"
"Yup. It has everything! Pools, baths, dojos, even an ice-cream shop!"
"I don't think an Ice-cream shop is that big of a deal, Sicily." Etna walked to Sicily and ruffled her hair. "Good to see you're still a little-runt. How's my favorite angel?"
"Etna stop it. You're sounding more and more like my sister-in-law."
"We have a sister-in-law?" Laharl raised an eyebrow. "...Oh yeah her. I was sure that she was retconned from continuity though."
"No, Big Brother." Sicily laughed. "I meant that Etna sounds a little like Ozonne just now."
"Wait, what? She's not your sister-in-law. Are you alright? You're not eating something funny for breakfast, did you?" Laharl shook his sister. "What do you mean Ozonne is your sister-in-law? Have you also been poisoned by the change of this Netherworld!?"
"No, Big Brother! It's just that... I heard from Flonne that you're going to marry her?"
"Damnit. It must've been that damn letter's fault."
"What letter?"
"Archangel Viruga sent a letter adressed to Laharl." Etna laughed, grinning from ear-to-ear. "It was a letter to persuade Laharl into marrying an angel of his choosing. I guess Flonne received a letter too. We thought it was just a tasteless joke."
"Angels doesn't lie, Etna."
"I'm not buying it. Anyway, we're here to see the leader of this... Angel Research Laboratory. Do you know of this club, Sicily?"
"Yeah, I do. They're kinda infamous over here. Breaking the rules, syphoning budgets from other clubs, gets into a lot of arguments. They're the primmest of the prim, well... demons. I guess." Sicily explained. She turned and walked into the hallway. "Come on, I'll show you to the club-room. I also want to give them a visit myself."
"Good. That simplifies things." Laharl smiled. "Lead the way, Sicily."
Sicily giggled, smiling as honest as she could get.
"Follow me, Big Brother."
And they left.
Monitor Head froze as she looked behind her.
"The student council president is the sister of the Overlord!?"
And then she fainted.
"Holy crap. Our complains and moanings were actually read by the Seraph himself!?"
"Yeah, so can you guys quit doing whatever you are complaining about? Rumor has it that the Seraph is really considering your options." Sicily said. She tapped her hand onto the table where the members of the Angel Research Laboratory are tied to their chairs, facing her. "I won't accept an apology, but could you just stop because you're actually making things worse for us."
Etna grinned.
"Hey, Prince."
Laharl grinned.
"Spit it out Etna. I want to hear it from your mouth."
Etna giggled.
"I'm proud of your sister, Prince. She really takes after Lord Krichevskoy."
Laharl was satisfied with Etna's statement.
"My dad was a great Overlord afterall. But I think she looked more like Mother when she was angry." Laharl sighed. "This won't take long."
Xenolith smiled through his beak.
"I must admit, she does take after you, My Lord." Xenolith looked at Laharl. "Knowing of what you have become, I believe that Sicily would make a great Overlord. Just like you."
Laharl smiled sheepishly.
"Stop complimenting me, prinny. It doesn't make me happy at all."
Xenolith softly laughed.
"So am I clear? You've signed an oath with me. If you broke that oath, you will be shamed as a demon in, and outside the academy." Sicily slammed the desk. "Now are we clear? Give me your answers!"
"Y-Yes ma'am!" A zombie said.
"Y-Yeah." A ghost said. "Loud and clear, Miss President."
"Please insult me more!" An orc snorted. "I love it when you insult me, President Sicily!"
Laharl was taken aback. Particularly at the word "President".
"Alright Sicily, what is this "President" business?" Laharl moved closer to Sicily. "Since when did you become a potent power-figure?"
"I-Is that bad?" Sicily looked at Laharl, trembling. She started to sweat and paused for Laharl's reply.
"Bad!?" Laharl looked down on Sicily, before slowly went from gritting his teeth mad, into an honest grin. "That's not bad at all! In-fact, you've become more useful to me! Being a president means that you have a full-control over this school, right!?"
"Basically, yeah."
"Then that's just perfect!" Laharl placed his hand on Sicily's head. "I'm proud of you Sis."
"Y-You are!" Sicily was absentminded, but then she went into a happy grin. "It's okay for me to be the student council president!?"
"Of course! That means, I have an extension of power over here. Good job, Sicily."
Sicily feel faint.
"Watch out, dood." Xenolith moved behind Sicily and catches her. "My Lord. I understand that you were not the type to compliment people. But this... this is amazing... dood."
"Shut up." Laharl grumbled. "Now, we're done here. Let's wait for the Seraph to be available. Then we shall give him a visit."
"Super. How about we went to that Ice Cream shop? I'm sure it'll wake your dear Miss Student Council President of a sister, Prince Laharl, big brother of Miss Student Council President." Etna snickered. "Shall we?"
"Etna?" Laharl asked as he lifted Sicily on piggybag.
"Yes, Prince?"
"I hate you."
Etna pulled out her tongue.
"I hate you more, Prince." Etna opened the door outside. "After you."
Laharl grumbled aloud along the way to the Ice Cream Shop. Sicily was surprised when she was awoken in the Ice Cream Shop. It was a surprise by Laharl, a way to congratulate his sister. Though Laharl wasn't really honest about it, they had a happy time.
But the mystery of the letter itself, was not brought into the light.
An upbeat jingle could be heard.
It's time for the next chapter preview.
"Hello, humans!" Etna chimed in from nowhere. "It is I, your loveable, cute, pretty, and sexy... Etna the Moe-Lord!" She moved around, and sparkles and stars and rainbows and glitters was thrown all over the place. It's even on your screen!
"Etna... what are you doing?" Xenolith appeared in his human form. Slowly contemplating what he had done wrong all his life. "Sister, have you grown mad?"
"Watch as Etna, the greatest heroine ever written into fiction, succeed in succumbing every male in the world!"
"Why would you ever do that!?" Xenolith wasn't really ready for his sister's ambition, and he flipped the heck out. "W-What happened to my precious little sister!?"
"But a twist! The instigator of this faulty to the romance system, was actually her evil brother the Ultra Tyrant Xenolith!" Etna pulled out a handkerchief with the Prince's face on it and started crying crocodile tears. "It was him I tell you, because I am sickly and weak since birth!" She coughed monotonously.
"W-What!?" Xenolith was so perplexed he doesn't know what to say. "I—I'm not sure I follow!"
"But then, a surge of power... the power of love and masochism. Filled Etna's heart and made her the supreme and dominant, QUEEN ETNA!" She summoned a whip and crack it at Xenolith. "Now she'll make everyone dance to her whim. As she build her own reverse-harem!"
Etna changed her outfit into a magical and frilly sadist queen. She planted her heels on the back of Laharl as she holds the earth on her hand.
"Watch it with the heels, Etna" The Prince whined. "And why the heck am I in this pose!?"
"No reason at all! Next time, on the soon-to-be-rewritten again fanfiction of the century: ETNA ROUTE! Chapter 2: The Sadist who leapt through time! All of you sheep shall bow before me and lick my heels! Oooooooooohohohohohoho!"
"Sister... what have you become?" Xenolith sulked on the side.
He's now a prinny again.
END of CHAPTER 1
A/N: I'm done! Woohoo!
Anyway, once again, please read and review. I await your sincere opinion on my rewrite with glee. As usual, I hope the reader of my previous version of this fic are excited about that one chapter. You know, that chapter. *Nudge Nudge* *Wink Wink*
See you later! *Waves Hands*