Hi so this is my first attempt at a casualty story. It hasn't been beta'd so I apologise for any errors or inaccuracies.
Why did he always turn her down? She knows that it is just supposed to be a bit of fun but it should still go two ways. She was starting to feel like a toy that he was using when he wanted it and then just putting her away when he was finished.
He had even stopped staying the night; deciding instead to leave straight after sex. He tried to claim that it was because he didn't want their colleagues finding out, but she was staring to believe it might just be that he wasn't interested in her for any reason other than her body.
There he was coming round the corner looking at her with an expression that she had grown to recognise as his 'I want sex' face. Trouble was she so often found it too hard to resist.
After glancing around to check for spectators Iain grabbed her face and kissed her. She wanted to resist she really did. She wanted him to know that she was mad at him for using her. But he was a such a good kisser; so instead she deepened the kiss and pulled him close into to her until there was no gap between them at all.
When they broke apart for air she took a step back. As good as it was, they were in the middle of a corridor, and someone could walk around the corner at any moment.
"So I'll see you tonight?" he asked her using his most attractive voice; his eyes narrowed at her as if he was seeing her naked. She was ready to see him right there. But she held onto her composure.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea"
"Why not?" he shot back. Did she see a glimmer of hurt flash though his eyes? Concern? Maybe she simply imagined it.
"Iain, I'm not a plaything you can just use when you want to" she took a deep breath in; she couldn't believe she was about to turn him down. "I'm a person, I have feelings and you just don't respect them."
He recoiled. "Reets, you know we were just having a bit of fun; this, this thing was never supposed to become something serious." She avoided looking at him instead choosing to look at her hands. If she looked at him she'd back down. She knew that she would; she really was starting to like him.
"We've been doing this for two months now, of course it's more than a bit of fun. It's way more than a one night stand now, it's gone so far beyond that. But if you don't think that, so if we're not on the same wavelength, then I'm going to have to put an end to it before I get, before you hurt me." She looked up to see his reaction. He just looked confused. "After everything I went through with Mark I can't afford to get hurt again." He still didn't respond.
She turned to leave.
"Rita…Come on…" Iain didn't seem to have anything to say. She kept on going and returned to the ED to continue her shift.
As Iain watched her walk away he realised, he knew, that it was more than just the sex for him too. He had put a block on his feelings; a block on letting anyone get too close to him. He had stopped staying the night with Rita to stop himself from falling. It looked like he already had. And now it was too late. He cursed to himself.
"Shit Iain, why the fuck do you have to fuck everything up."
Dixie walked round the corner just missing his outburst. "Hey you, I was just about to send out a search party to find you. We've got a shout." Dixie headed away again. "Come on."
Iain tried to swallow his feelings, whatever they were, and followed her out.