Sloppy Seconds
Headlights, that's what I remember driving around the corner, pressing the gas just a little too hard. Too hard, just enough to pull me into the next lane. And headlights, that's what filled my vision in the late night. I didn't think of even trying to swerve, I knew we were going to crash as soon as those two white beams blinded me. I threw me arm to keep my little brother from flying forward, an instinct I learned a long time ago. The headlights were followed by a loud noise and…
And then I woke up in the forest as a ferret. That's right, I just woke up as ferret of all things. Not even as a baby, but a fully grown ferret, dressed in rags. Putting a hand, no a paw, to my head I groaned, "Oh God…" and then froze, blood curdling in my veins. I could talk. It wasn't just a trick of the mind, but I could speak, move my mouth and tongue to make words. Pulling my paw away, I inspected it and noticed that I had a thumb. No, I was more than a ferret, I was some sort of anthropomorphic. Was that the right word to use? It was a big word to describe what I had transformed into, but it was the best I could think of.
The more pressing matter at hand was why. Perhaps Mitch was here as well, turned into a sort of anthropomorphic like me. Pressing my hand-paw things, I need to settle on something to call them, to my head I groaned again. "Think Nathalie, think." I was a ferret, in a forest with really big trees, dressed in god-awful rags. I was hit by an oncoming car, head on. Did I die? I didn't feel anything, there was just light, noise, and my arm… Let's assume I died, but I saved Mitch. Yeah, my thin little arm saved the seven year old passenger from an oncoming car.
Falling to my knees, I grabbed my stomach as bile spewed forth. My brother, my little brother was probably hurt or dead. My vision blurred as hot tears clung to the fur on my face. I was dead, there was no explaining it, I was dead and thrown into a forest as a ferret thing. This was hell, a weird twisted confusing hell, I wasn't just imagining it.
No, wait.
I was imagining it, I was just dreaming. Yeah, maybe I was unconscious, and this was all a very vivid dream. Perhaps I could control the world around me. I had practice with lucid dreams before. Hell, the car crash was just a part of it. I was still at my step-dad's place crashed out on the couch. Ha ha, it all made sense now. Why was a so sick though? No think. What was it that I was reading, a Redwall book? The trick about lucid dreams was to look at your hands. Well, paws in this case I guess.
I took another gander at my paws, and then I looked up, smiling. Next I needed to study what was around me, and look down again. Staring at my paws for what felt like the fourth time, I waited. If I looked up and there was anything different, I was dreaming. That was how that facebook post explained it I believe. And looking up rewarded me with, the same damn trees. Crap, okay old fashion testing now. I needed a good pinch!
And what better use for the claws stuck to the tips of my finger-digits than to pinch oneself with? "Ow!" I was still a ferret, and I was still in a forest. This dream was a tough son of a gun to crack.
Wait, was I even a girl anymore? A lot of my dreams had me as a guy. Feeling my face redden, and the fur on it actually rise in what I'd guess could be called a bristle, I slowly felt myself. Still female, that was a relief. Or was it a releif? Jills, female ferrets, needed to have sex when they went into heat or they'd die. My mom lost a good pet because she was too stupid to do the research and too cheap to take Miss Noodle to the vet for a simply hormone injection. Oh crap, I was screwed if I didn't get screwed!
No wait.
If I was some sort of anthropomorphic thing, perhaps I skipped that bit? I needed to keep in mind this was just a very lucid dream. The book I was reading, one of the Redwall books. They were about cute little animals that song, dance, did lots of eating, and loved to kill each other. Now, if I just took a moment to collect myself, I could presume that I was stuck in a Redwall dream. Pretty sure that's how this was going down.
A quick inspection around me kind of confirmed my suspicions? The trees were how I imagined them in the books, and I was how I imagined ferrets in the books as well. Now I know I loved ferrets, but why would I manifest as one in a Redwall world? Did that mean I was inherently evil inside? I mean, my childhood was screwed over because of my parent's divorce, and I was abused by that one teacher, but come on I grow up to be a horrible person. A little bitchy to my classmates maybe, perhaps I shouldn't have gotten into the car still feeling the alcohol from the party before visiting my step-dad to pick up my brother…
Heh, I probably deserved to be in some sort of hell after remembering that. But Mitch didn't deserve to get hurt over my stupidity. I just needed to remember that I was asleep on the couch. I'd soon wake up and realize what a terrible idea it was for me to even drive here from the party, let alone pick Mitch up. I loved my little brother, I wasn't going to put him in danger. Not even after a screaming, throwing stuff, fight with my step-dad…
No, who was I a kidding. I stared at my paws and blinked away hot tears as they returned. I knew it, the feeling was just too strong. I was dead or unconscious in a hospital bed, and Mitch was either hurt really bad or dead as well. My stomach turned and I leaned forward to heave, and heave more even though nothing came up. And I heaved again until finally a burning sensation passed my throat and splashed onto the ground.
Breathing hard, I stared at the trippy pool of sparkles that I threw up.
"Oi, dij ya just puke zem sparkles oir am ah seein' things."
Turning my head, I blinked through the tears at the stranger. It was mole armed with a sword as long as he stood tall. If I remembered correctly there were woodlanders, and then there were vermin, and even though I was puking up sparkles, I still fell under the classification of Redwall's scum. Hoping that the mole wasn't the crusading type, I went to reply but all that left my mouth was more damn sparkles. I fell forward, covering the ground underneath me in a torrent of the burning embers.
I stopped, breathing hard again. My whole body shook and it took all my strength not to fall in my own magical waste. My insides felt like they were holding hell itself. The pain fogged my mind and all I could think about was Mitch's face. I needed to hug him. With a groan, I fell forward.
The stranger mole caught me though in his massive claws. He carried me away from the sparkle covered ground. Resting me against a tree, he asked me something but I couldn't understand him through his thick accent. I closed my eyes, struggling not to puke again. I felt the world spin around me, and then there was the falling sensation of death overtaking me.
I opened my eyes to the ceiling of a hospital room. A mask covered my face, and beeps matched my heart's rhythm. Turning my head a little, I saw Mitch in another bed.
The Redwall archive used to like 'readers sucked into the Redwall world' stories, perhaps they still do. I figured I'd write a little something, try that story arc out. It was fun to whip this together.