Title: Progress
Author: Sara aka NativeAngel
Summary: Rebecca would like to think that she has made progress in her relationship with Booth.
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I am merely playing with the characters of "Bones" and I will return them in the same condition I found them. Twentieth Century et. al owns all.
Author's Note: Spoilers through most of Season Two of Bones.
Watching him fall in love is a surprise at its best, bittersweet at its worst, but mostly it's ironic as hell…and maybe just a little funny.
Rebecca thinks that maybe she knew deep down that it wouldn't work with Seeley from the beginning. That there are places deep inside, things that left him haunted in places that she would never be able to reach, to heal.
But he was kind, dependable, and just a little bit unattainable. In other words, too much of a challenge and a temptation to resist.
He'd seen so much, done so much that is just so far beyond anything that she knows. She grew up in a little town in Maryland, and has never even been out of the country, much less gone to Kuwait or fought in a war in some godforsaken part of the world.
He cries out in his sleep and jerks himself awake and all she can do is watch.
And he either can't or won't let her in. Some nameless sorrows are just too big, too much, and deep down she is afraid that she didn't have enough love in her to heal the dark places.
There were times when Seeley would be right next to her, but he wouldn't see her. And she questions and questions why her love, why she, isn't enough to fix the hurt.
And this is before Parker.
Peeing on a stick and having those two magical lines appear does not a happy family make.
It doesn't erase doubt, insecurity, fear of losing yourself in baby and family.
When he proposed, she wasn't't entirely sure that it wasn't prompted more out of vestiges of Catholic guilt than a deep-seeded desire to spend forever with her.
Because when Seeley commits, he commits 100.
But she doesn't want to trap him because of a baby, so she says "No."
She breaks his heart, and she's not proud of this fact.
She breaks her own in the process, but keeps it to herself.
There is no perfect solution, no quick fix. Small daily triumphs like teething and potty-training. Large setbacks like custody and child support arrangements.
They meander through as best they can.
They try to find a rhythm with Parker, and she tries to move on. But it is hard, being the one at home with a colicky baby, too stubborn and proud to ask for help or admit that she had a mistake. That she is in a prison of her own design, her own sorrow.
She loves her son, and she knows that Seeley does as well. And there are times when she uses her son against him, and through her acts out of misplaced anger, she hurts her child and her child's father.
She tries to move on, to date other men. And falls back into bed with Seeley in the interim, trying to recapture that earlier feeling, as ephemeral and intangible as it now is.
Then, enter Temperance Brennan into the picture, bringing a sea-change with her.
Her first contact with her is when she picks up Seeley's phone, after their latest…slip…
Seeley looks so frazzled and concerned that his partner would know what they were up to that she should have known then, but Rebecca initially writes it off as a professional concern.
Maybe, deep down, she might still hold out hope that she and Seeley would finally get it right this time.
But then, when she goes to his office and met Seeley's "Bones", leggy and beautiful, with her concerned eyes and furrowed brow, with her awkward, well-intentioned (if slightly inappropriate), conversation, Rebecca is forced to admit several uncomfortable truths.
How much power she holds over Seeley as Parker's mother.
How comfort and familiarity is not the same as love.
How she and Seeley had missed their "moment," if there was ever one to be had.
So Rebecca asks the forensic anthropologist to not say anything while Rebecca slinks away in a whirl of confusion and self-recrimination, wondering how events have spiraled so far out of control.
Her girlfriends take her out the next weekend on the pretense of getting over Drew, but there is the unspoken acknowledgement borne of the deepest female intuition that it is really about letting go of something bigger.
Rebecca tries to make up for past mistakes. She and Seeley reach an accord and a closure that she had previously denied them.
She doesn't count on the relief she would feel once she reassures Seeley that he is, indeed, a good father. The pleasure and joy in his eyes makes her want to cry and wish that she had done it so much sooner.
Time passes, and Rebecca moves on. She calls Drew, and she finally has let go the past enough to see a future with someone new.
She and Seeley start to develop what might actually pass for a friendship.
He's hesitant at first, but slowly mentions of his partner start to creep into their conversations. His brown eyes become intense when he discusses "Bones." His step is lighter. Terms such as "biological imperative" and "empirical evidence" drop into his vocabulary. He brings her to the house with him to pick up Parker, and at first Rebecca is nervous. The woman handles dead bodies for a living, what would her reaction be to a lively five-year old?
Rebecca watches this "Bones" while Seeley straps Parker into his car-seat. The red-head is hesitant with Parker, regarding him as a new and heretofore unknown species, reaching out to help Seeley secure Parker in, making sure that he is safe. This gesture makes Rebecca smile and exchange a small nod with the woman when Seeley's back is turned.
When Parker comes home on Sunday he has an expensive new toy, a present from "Bones" that has all the fancy bells and whistles. Rebecca also appreciates the sentiment, but informs Parker that the new toy, with its' accompanying noises, will have to reside at Daddy's.
The next time he brings her along; he introduces them and watches nervously. She tells Rebecca to call her "Temperance." Rebecca smiles and Seeley places a protective hand at the small of Temperance's back.
When they go to leave, she catches snippets of a spirited debate about who is going to drive.
Rebecca isn't sure where this relationship is going, but she thinks that Seeley has finally met his match. And while Rebecca is still a little sad, she has a sneaking suspicion that everything might have just worked out for the best after all.