He had been sitting on this bench where they first talked.
Really talked.
Back then he had nothing. His friends had ganged up on him, broke apart everything he owned, and he had been in a downward spiral or at least he thought he had been. In retrospect he probably would have been fine after a little while. His asshole friends had broken material possessions and those he could have just begged his mom to buy back. She would have caved eventually because when didn't she cave?
But at the time he had thought his life was pretty much at an end. Right until she showed up.
Heidi Turner.
She came into his life, talked with him, lead him to this very bench and treated him like a real honest to god human being. It wasn't surprising that he had been swept up in how smart and funny she was. She had apparently seen something in him (who knew what?) and before long they were dating and Eric was actually happy and content for once. No crazy schemes, no revenge plots, no manipulations. Just Heidi.
Which brought him to this moment. The moment where he sat alone on a park bench with his insides twisted to hell because in order to save his relationship he had lied about something he did wrong and of course that would be the very thing that ended the relationship and he should have known better than to lie because damn it he had spent half of his life on the couch watching tv and he had seen this all BEFORE...
Inhale. Exhale. Calm down.
Breathe.
Panicking was what got you into this mess.
Eric shut his eyes tight, almost as if he could will the anxiety away if he tried hard enough. If he wished hard enough.
This, this right here, was a downward spiral. His mind had ground to a halt and instead of thinking of ways he could maneuver out of this terrible situation like it always did when things looked bad it was stuck thinking about how cold his hands were right now and that he'd better get used to the feeling because winter was coming and Heidi's hands, her perfect warm hands, wouldn't be around much longer to hold.
"Come on you stupid brain step it UP!" Eric growled, seeing his breath mist out of his mouth and wishing he'd brought a scarf or some gloves or his usual coat with him. But he hadn't been thinking about the fact that it was October in Colorado and October nights were getting colder and colder the closer they got to Halloween. He didn't even know where his gloves were because why would he need them when Heidi was there? Always by his side.
His chest hurt. It hurt in a way he'd never felt before. It wasn't the apprehension that came with the knowledge that a teacher was about to doll out another detention for him after he screwed around in class. It wasn't the horrors of a scheme gone wrong and the police were coming again. It was a pulsing ache in his heart because he had lied to Heidi and she was going to find out and that would be the end of them. No more matching shirts, no more hand holding, no more songs or kissing. He was going to be alone again on this very bench, which seemed like it was made of harder material than it used to be, and this time he was going to stay that way.
Bitterness rose up in his throat. At his his classmates wouldn't have to see them being lovey dovey anymore. No need to worry about nasty pda right? That would make it all worth it in the eyes of his classmates. They had their priorities straight that was for sure.
It had started to lightly snow and Eric opened his eyes, thinking he heard footsteps. But no, that was dumb. It was getting late and no one really liked to be out when the temperature dropped.
He sighed and his eyes traveled down.
The worst part was there was nothing he could do about it. No plan would save him. No "I've learned something today" would save him. The truth wouldn't save him. He had thought that if he just sat down and took a breather that he would be able to call upon the genius that he used to be but that didn't happen. His brain was mush. The music was coming for him and the last thing Eric wanted to do was face it.
"There you are!"
Her voice, unexpected but welcome, gave him the strength to stop staring at his knees (when did they start shaking?) and look up into her eyes.
Did they always light up that way when she smiled or was that just when she was looking at him?
"I was worried about you, you just up and vanished!" Heidi exclaimed.
"Just had some thinking to do babe." Eric replied, thankful that his voice was coming out strong and clear.
"It's going to be okay boo." Heidi stepped forward, lacing their fingers together and giving him a soft kiss on the lips.
He soared.
You've never given me a reason not to trust you.
He crashed.
"let's go watch a movie!" Heidi smiled, shivering a little and Eric quickly wrapped his arms around her as he nodded. A movie was good. A movie was distracting! He sure would like to see a movie.
"Lead the way!" Eric beamed.
As Heidi broke the hug and did just that, pulling on his hand, Eric's eyes prickled. He quickly shoved all of that down because he wasn't so far gone that he was just going to start crying like a baby. He was stronger than that!
"You can pick this time," she looked back at him and winked "You've got great taste in movies you know"
There would be plenty of time for crying later when he returned to this park bench with the knowledge that Heidi Turner wouldn't be looking for him ever again.