Heya! I kinda had to change the story around so it won't be removed. Enjoy!
Bold/Normal: Hermione
Italics: The Twilight Fan (not their real name, just a random one)
Hi there! My name is Hermione, and I'm here to defend the honour of Harry Potter! I'm going to write my opinions in bold, and I'm going to "pretend" that I'm a normal Muggle.
Obviously you understand what I mean.
Right?
Haha, just kidding. But in other words, here you go!
1. Robert Pattinson, can you say HOT? And he's totally sexy when he sparkles!
I'm sorry, what? Are you saying when men are covered in sparkles, they're sexy!? First of all, that's a big capitalized bold italic underlined NO. Second of all, being sparkly doesn't make you sexy, it makes you a joke! You'll be laughed at. Trust me, I know. ;)
2. Taylor Lautner, I mean, have you SEEN those muscles?
Who. Gives. A. Crap. About. His. Stupid. Muscles. That doesn't make Twilight better! It makes it unrealistic! From what I see, everyone's beautiful, everyone's strong, and everyone's perfect. From the impression YOU Twilight fans gave me, they're all Mary Sues and Gary Stues.
3. Kristen Stewart. An extremely talented and beautiful actress, with loads of potential.
I'm being honest, she does literally nothing but stare. Stare at Edward. Stare at him while he stares at her. There's more staring in the movie than there is plot! How is that talented!? And if only having one, solid expression is potential, then you're right. Slenderman has more facial expressions than Kristen Stewart. And STILL doesn't prove Twilight is better than HP.
Also, I can say Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived. Katniss Everdeen (from the Hunger Games) is the Girl on Fire. Bella is the Girl Who Did Nothing. Loads of potential indeed. If you contradict me, tell me then, what did she do? Did she defeat a Dark Lord? Did she lead a rebellion? No? The go sit in that corner and think of a better argument, cause it's useless. Harry Potter FTW!
4. The Volturi. REALISTIC villains, instead of insane freaks in cloaks, like Voldemort and the Death Eaters.
Realistic villains are cliche, predictable. With those "insane freaks", you can't predict their next moves, and they're much more intimidating. And what's so special about realistic villains? There's nothing unique about them! But Death Eaters, Voldemort, all of them, they're unique. They're special.
5. Because its just common sence to like twilight! Haha. Romance means everything. Bella and Edward are like, MENT 4 each other, and everything is just...PERFECT! In Harry potter, u would that that harry and harmonie would like...fall in love or something...and then u watch people die in freaky ways, and then there are creepy things...GAHH! but yea. (:
O.O
Are all Twilight fans this dense? First of all, your spelling is off. I'm not a champion speller, but at least I try to spell. That's not the point though, sorry. But common sense?! Is that literally the best you've got? That's like saying "It's common sense to like Harry Potter!" It's an invalid answer! That's why we Potterheads don't say that! Gods, this infuriates me. That's literally one of the stupidest answers I've ever heard. No offense.
Also, love isn't everything. Sure, it's important, but what about family? Friendship? Trust? They aren't important? The world doesn't revolve around love! It's only a piece, including family, friendship, trust, and so much more. HP has all that! Where is it in Twilight?
Another thing: It's Hermione. If you're making a comment, at least get the names right. They are a shipping, if that makes you feel any better. And "die in freaky ways?" Really? It's special! I know I'm rambling on and on about "being unique" and "being special", but I value difference! So I'm going to make it a frequent reference. Back to the point, it makes the plot interesting! Many ways to be eliminated, it keeps the suspense up! Those "freaky ways" are only spells and potions, anyways. So...spells and potions are freaky? Huh. Never thought of it that way. And, oh wait, I never will. :P
Creepy things. If witches and warlocks are creepy, then so are vampires and werewolves. Just to be nice though, I'll call a truce on that one. Though witches and wizards aren't creepy, Lupin is a werewolf, so I have to call it truce on that one. And because I'm a very nice HP fan.
6. Because it's one of the greatest love stories ever! Harry Potter is good too, but Twilight has way more romance and more hot guys...EDWARD, JASPER, EMMETT, CARLISLE! Need I say more!
Has "more hot guys". Is that your standards now? If there's no "hot guys" in the story, you won't like the book? Should I make every OC of mine "hot"? Cause that's what I see. And thank you for at least acknowledging the romance in the books. But do you see how muh conflict there is? Here let me break it down for you. In a simple, incomplete way.
In Harrys fourth year, he had a crush on Cho Chang, who was dating Cedric, and when he died (*sniffle*), she was conflicted, and he started going out with her. It feel apart, and in the sixth book, he fell for Ginny, who was already dating someone. Did I mention Hermione liked Ron while he was dating Lavender? And dn't even get me started with Tonks and Lupin...
How's that for "not much romance"? And I didn't even finish.
7. Yes, we all know that Harry Potter and Twilight are both fiction, but Twilight is clearly better. When I read a book, I like to imagine myself in the plot or relate to the story somewhat. Aside from the vampire theme, Twilight actually takes place in a REAL town with up to date things. ex) cars, school, etc. I'm sorry but I just can't picture myself on a flying train, eating chocolate covered frogs, headed to a non existent magical school. In my opinion, Twilight is obviously better.
Yes, beause when your boyfriend dumps you, you commit suicide. I can TOTALLY relate to that. *rolls eyes*
And now I'm mad. Flying train? Are you kidding me!? *deep breath* Okay, let's do this in a civilized manner. There is no flying train. There is a flying car, but wouldn't that stimulate your imagination? Being in the real world, sure, that's cool, but there's nothing unique about it. See? Coming back to a main point. It. Is. Cliche. Everyone uses normal places. But HP is a mix of both. Diagon Alley is in London (if I'm correct, I haven't read the books in AGES) and Hogwarts is in Scotland. It's not in a place called Fantasia where fairies glow everywhere and grant wishes. I made that up, and if it actually exist, that'd be awesome. :) But it's in a real place. And J.K Rowling is so clever on how she writes it, oh so very clever, she used real places, and created a secret world beneath it. It makes you wonder, it makes you imagine, it makes you believe...
...while Twilight does the opposite. A normal girl. In a normal town. Meets a "hot" vampire and falls in love with him. YAWN.
8. OMGGG Harry POtter is messed up. Like seriusly, he needs to grow up and stop being so boring cuz edward is like waaaaaaay more AMAZINNNG. therees no love in hary potter and nobodies hot who wants to read a book without hot peeps?
Messed up? MESSED UP!? Just WHO do you think you are? At least I don't live in a fantasy where sparkly vampires try to seduce me and loves me for my scent! Ugh, sorry, but it's true. Besides, you got me mad. I exploded. Ish. Anyways, boring? Seriously? I'd like to see you battle Dementors. How about writing with those messed up quills Professor Umbridge has? Try to defend yourself from the worlds foulest villain when you're one. Boring? Please. You really need to stop talking about your own fandom.
Edward is more amazing? Ha. You're hilarious. Harry's been through more than Edward would ever go through in his whole lifetime. Yeah. I just said that. AND YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! :P Not everyone in the fandom is childish, just saying. Your stupid attitude is making me feel childish.
And DIDN'T YOU JUST FREAKING SAY HP HAS ROMANCE IN IT IN #6!? Go, read it again. You back? And YOU SEE!? Go, say HP has no romance after reading #6. No? You can't? Didn't think so. :P
No hot peeps? That's what makes them human. Nobody's perfect, and HP doesn't really emphasize on looks because they're a little busy TRYING TO SAVE THE FREAKING WORLD. Did you notice? You only like books with "hot" guys in it. Should I fear the worst? Cause from what you're telling me, you're giving me a very bad impression of Twilight fans.
9. Each book in the twilight series has a different story line. It is mainly about Bella's Lovestory but in the 1st book it was about how Edward had to save Bella and in each book the story changes. The main reason of the book is for Bella To become A vampire. Then after that it is the story with Renesmee. In Harry Potter it takes 7 or 8 books to get to the point. Killing the one who must not be named. it drags on and on and becomes boring.
First Book: The Golden Trio forms and they try to destroy the Philosophers Stone.
Second Book: Harry stops the paralyzing attacks and ventures into the Chamber of Secrets
Third Book: A "murderer" is on the loose and Harry fights his first Dementor (I suck at summaries, but whatever)
Fourth Book: Harry is entered into the Triwizard Tournament and Voldemort rises
Fifth Book: Harry faces the monstrosity named Umbridge and defies the Ministry
Sixth Book: A bunch of romance and Harry has lessons from Dumbledore
Seventh Book: The Horcrux Hunt begins and the Battle of Hogwarts.
And...you were saying? How is it boring? Every little detail counts! The plot is so well thought out, and it's suspenseful at the same time. How does it drag on? Twilight drags on! :P
10. Twilight has a more reasonable plot than HarryPotter. Look at Harry and you'll see he's more angsty than Bella. And all the Harry Potter books are like Harry being "My life sucks" and then Voldemort shows up and he's like "I'm going to kill you" and Harry's all like "No way" and then Harry wins in the end. It's way obvious, especially when the author already tells you how many books there's going to be. I mean, why can't we live in total suspense on what's going to happen next? Twilight gives that suspense that something amazing is going to happen that Harry Potter never gave us. Plus, Harry Potter is a wizard and wizards are demonic creatures. Who would want to root for a demon as the good guys? In twilight, everyone's a vampire, and vampires aren't Satan's spawn.
First of all, Harry never said that. Seriously. Get your facts right. And please; tell me a story where evil wins. I'd love to read it. Wait, you can't? Oh, dang it! Of course good would win! But how? Who'd die? Any sacrifices? Betrayals? Yeah, TOTALLY obvious.
Was all those sad, tragic deaths obvious? Was that diary in the second book an obvious plot key? Gods, Dumbledore even planned his death when Harry was born. Was that obvious? No. It wasn't. The story isn't obvious. Did you expect Harry to die? No.
No suspense in Harry Potter, eh? Then absolutely nothing happens in Twilight. Bella falls in love, they get married, have a child, child almost dies, the end. SO suspenseful.
Vampires literally suck all your blood out. Yep, totally NOT demonic at all. And if you really want to stick with "Wizards are demons shmesh shemsh shmesh." the it's called "being creative and defying your destiny". And they're not demonic, so it wouldn't matter anyways.
11. In harry potter all they do is fly around on brooms and kill people with magic sticks (wands) I mean, really?
In Twilight, all they do is fall in love and...uh...nothing else, really. I mean, really?
Sound familiar? Yeah. Harry Potter has a much more complex plot. Then again, you'd probably not understand what would be going on. So stick with Twilight! It's much more simpler and easier for you. O:)
12. Edward wasn't a dork. Yeah, sometimes, dorks are cute. However, Harry was a bit too dorky and I can't see why girls even liked him.
Because saving the world is too dorky for your liking. Next comment!
13. Harry Potter is for virgin nerds. Twilight is for cool and mature people.
Virgin nerds? The hell? Are you saying you guys love...ugh, I don't even want to write the word.
Cool and mature. Right. Because reading rated M material is cool and mature. Right...
(Don't even try to contradict me, since Bella and Edward make babies, and how are babies made? Exactly.)
14. Hermione is a week character. Unline Bella, who struggles every day. Hermione has no problems, the only things she has are self-created. She follows Harry into his troubles. Big whoop. Even if she is teased about being a mud blood or whatever its called, she has a choice. She could quit Hogwarts or something. Bella has no choice, she is in love.
Okay. That's it. You've just crossed the line. HOW THE FRICKING HELL DOES HERMIONE NOT HAVE PROBLEMS!? You try getting bullied! You try making one of the most complex potion ever at the age of 12! You try being ignored by your friends! You try watching the one you love kiss another girl! You try being on the run with nothing with you except friends! You try watching a loved one leave you because of an argument! You try watching your friends die before your eyes! You try helping to save the world! You try going to the government and almost DIE! How DARE you say she doesn't struggle! You have absolutely NO RIGHT!
And she can't quit Hogwarts; it's against her character. And you can be in love and have a choice. Harry loved Ginny, but to protect her, he made the choice of breaking up. YOU. WERE. SAYING? *fumes and clenches fists*
Clearly I am NOT OKAY with that statement.
15. Twilight was a best selling novel, and has a bigger fan base than Harry Potter.
Go to another tab. Go onto Fanfictions Hompage. Click on Books. Which is first: Harry Potter or Twilight?
Next comment, since this one's to-you know what? It doesn't even deserve a comment.
16. Stephenie Meyer writes that the only thing that can kill a vampire is another vampire or a werewolf. Since Edward is a vampire created by Meyer, we can use her written characteristics and apply them to Harry Potter. Since Harry Potter is neither vampire nor wolf, this means that Harry Potter could not kill Edward and Edward would win.
*cough* Remus Lupin *cough*
You were saying? Besides, Harry wouldn't attack the defenseless. He's kind that way.
17. Twilight led to many other supernatural romances in books and tv shows.
And Harry Potter is a classic, along with Dorothy, Frodo, and Alice (from Alice in Wonderland).
A classic is better than that. Besides, Twilight is way too cliche. Nearly everything is the same.
18. Unlike Harry, nobody's thoughts are actually that deep or intellectual. I bet if any of us published our thoughts into a book, none would be great English lit; Bella's thoughts are more realistic.
Does that mean you don't understand it? Sure, our thoughts aren't like that, but have you read Lord of the Rings? That could be classified as deep and intellectual. Yet I don't hear you say a word about that. Oh, wait, is Frodo not cute enough for you?
19. at least all of them dosent a scar of a lightning bolt.
What does that have to do with anything? Besides, a lightning bolt scar is cool! It's a heck lot better than sparkling, anyways.
20. no witchcraft (practicing witchcraft is bad).
And being a vampire is bad. Next comment!
21. At least they talk about reliegon even 4 a short while.
*raises eyebrow* And that makes Twilight better? Maybe J.K Rowling didn't want to make one religion look better than the other. Think before you write!
22. Twilight goes more in depth with the emotions. You can feel Bella's pain when Edward leaves her. You can feel her confusion between Edward and Jacob. You can feel her love for Renesmee.
Yes, I feel so pained that I jump of a cliff. You know Ginny, right? Harry broke up with her to protect her. Did she commit suicide? No. She lived her life, moving on like anyone else would. You know Hermione, right? She watched the one she loved kiss and act all lovey dovey with another girl. You felt her sadness, right? Doesn't have deep emotions my a-uh, my foot. You don't know what you're talking about. Harry Potter takes your feels, and puts it in a blender with gravel, ice, and shrapnel.
23. Twilight is a modern-day Romeo and Juliet in its themes of everlasting but forbidden love; to be compared to such a classic is an honor.
Hate to break it to you, but Harry Potter is a classic. Like I said before, Harry will be up there with Frodo, Dorothy, and Alice.
24. We like the time setting of Twilight. It is modern day.
We live in modern day, so sometimes it's boring reading that. Sure, you connect with her, but I can't. I'm not dating a vampire. And it's fascinating, reading a story in a different era. You learn things you wouldn't know in this era. :D
25. Vampires stay with their partners will death. If you mess with their partners, you'll get what's coming. Even after their partner is dead, they will remain loyal to them, till their time comes.
Cool vampire fact! Now... where is the actual fact that makes Twilight better than HP?
...
Wait, that was the one? Really? You're really desperate, aren't you?
26. We like and appreciate the fact that the vampires and werewolves in Twilight aren't anything like the one's from us before. To us, it's nice to take on the vampire and werewolf concept.
Uh, sure. But...what's your point? You like the vampire and werewolf concept? Well la de freaking da, HP has vampires and werewolves. So...technically, that's an invalid argument.
27. You can read Twilight over and over again.
You can re-read HP, and catch fats you might've not noticed. Next comment!
28. It is the rare vampire novel that isn't about sex on some level, and the Twilight books are no exception. What makes Meyer's books so distinctive is that they're about the erotics of abstinence. Their tension comes from prolonged, superhuman acts of self-restraint. There's a scene midway through Twilight, in which, for the first time, Edward leans in close and sniffs the aroma of Bella's exposed neck. "Just because I'm resisting the wine doesn't mean I can't appreciate the bouquet," he says. "You have a very floral smell, like lavender...or freesia." He barely touches her, but there's more sex in that one paragraph than in all the snogging in Harry Potter.
So...you like reading...ew. Let's just not talk about it. Besides, Harry Potter isn't about that kind of stuff. It's about friendship, and how important your family and friends are. And what I've learned from Twilight is...when you're dumped, jump off a cliff, then hook up with him again, make babies, and then protect her. Yay. What an important lesson on life.
29. The characters change throughout the Twilight series as well. they may not be growing up like the Harry Potter Characters did, but they did change. The characters become more brave, stronger, loving, forgiving, etc. Each character changed in the Twilight books. Harry Potter characters changed as well, but they kept some of their bad traits with them.
They changed. Characters. Do. Not. Change. Their. Personality. Traits. Not drastically, anyways. And keeping their bad traits mak. Them. Human. Ever hear about the quote "Nobody's perfect"? Well, Twilight shuts that down.
"Hi, I'm Bella Swan! I coincidentally have a beautiful name, and I'm gorgeous! Even though I think I'm better than everyone I still have inferior problems! I'm friends with everyone and while I'm dating a vampire, I'm making out with a werewolf!"
Ick. Basically screaming Mary Sue. Harry Potter, on the other hand, says "Not everyone is perfect. We all have flaws. But with your friends, you can accomplish anything."
30. IT has a graphic novel.
For the people who are too lazy to read. Yep. Awesome.
31: has more female friends.
I'm sorry, what? I copy and pasted this, but what's your point? Waste of space.
32. Harry Potter was mainly focused on children. We are into the more mature books. That have mature elements in them.
It starts when they're 11, yes, but they slowly grow up, progressing with each book. Maybe you didn't notice the 17 year old in the 7th book? And HP also has the mature element of swear words and death. You're too much of a child to realize it though.
33. Who wouldn't want two guys fighting over you? :D That just makes a good story. Am I right?
No. It's annoying. I don't even like boys in general. And it could make a good plot twist, if it wasn't dragged on and on and on. I gets boring, and it's cliche.
34. Bella Swan is a strong character. SHe is brave, caring, forgiving, accepting, and just plain awesome :) She has risked her life many times to save someone she loves, such as Charlie, Renee, Edward, Jacob, The Cullens, Nessie, etc. She went through weeks of pain to save her daughter. SHe was willing to die so her baby could live. She has also formed a huge army and was prepared to fight till the death to protect her child and family. So yes, Bella is a role model. And No, she is not dependent on Edward.
Luna is brave, caring, forgiving, accepting, awesome, amazing, unique, a Ravenclaw, smart, and she believes in things other people don't believe in. She risked her life going to the Ministry of Magic, and was kidnapped by Death Eaters, and was held as a hostage. She went through so much pain, and stuck with Harry till the end. She risked her life to fight against the Dark side. Do I really have to mention the others? She's a bigger role model than all of Twilights characters put together!
And yes she is. Why else would you kill yourself if someone dumped you? Because you love them? No, because you'd look for them, while living. She's dependent on him, and because he left, she tried to commit suicide. Cause that's "logic".
35. Twilight totally had a better, richer, more complex plot line than Harry Potter.
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!? Go. Read #18. You're back? Deep and intellectual. Those are main components to make a complex plotline. Besides, Twilight doesn't do anything! They fight because of a stupid baby. Hogwarts fights to save the freaking world! That enough makes a better plot!
36. Alice Cullen. She is just awesome! She would probably be considered as the "Luna" in Twilight. Am I right? Alice would be the perfect sister. She would make anyone smile if they had a bad day.
Hermione, Luna, George, Fred, Sirius, James and a bunch of other people have the same quality. Alice is one person. Hermione, Luna, George, Fred, Sirius, James and bunch of other people are more than 1.
37. All four Twilight books made us teary eyed. As for Harry Potter, some parts made us sad and a little teary, but Twilight was the one that really made us teary.
Yeah, we all cried because of how horrible it is. Next comment!
38. The Twilight books were so amazing! We just could not put them down at all! For Harry Potter, some of the books we could not put down, but others made us a bit sleepy.
The only reason you're sleepy is because you're brain isn't able to handle the intellectual facts. Twilight made me sleep because nothing was happening.
39. Daniel Radcliffe is doing pornografic musicals on Broadway and Robert Pattinson is singing and acting in other movies...who exactly got the better end of the deal?
Listen, the actors don't define the book. Invalid comment! Next!
40. Sirius Black can turn into a great, black dog, Peter Pettigrew can turn into a rat, James Potter can turn into a stag, Remus Lupin a werewolf Rita Skeeter can turn into a beetle and Minerva Mcgonagall can turn into a cat. How scary is that? Not at all. A Twilight shapeshifter would OWN them all :)
Nobody said it was scary. Being an Animagus and a Metamorphagus doesn't make you scary, it makes you unique to all the other witches and wizards. And a Twilight shapeshifter is cliche. In fact, nearly EVERYTHING in Twilight is cliche! Except the sparkling, that's just stupid.
41. The HP books are all depressing. Lots of good characters die, which isn't cool. And they're just full of violance, and ridiculous plans.
You can't have a rainbow without rain. Harry Potter expresses how you could lose everything you love,
42. Stephenie Meyer did her resarch and found a place like Forks so the vampires could be outside. JK just made one up.
Yes, because a place called London is made up. Nice use of logic!
(and if you mean something else, then whatever.)
43. The sparkles are so unique and creative. They're not stupid
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Seriously. Don't make me laugh.
Vampires are supposed to DIE in the sun.
D.
I.
E.
But NO, they sparkle, because everyone just loves sparkling vampires. If you're gonna do something creative, don't make it a stupidly "creative" idea.
44. harry potter is too hard for a young child to read.
Yes, it is too hard for you to read, young, clueless, weird-taste-in-books child.
45. Twilight is better because the books are written better and the characters bring more to the table for the readers.
Ha. And ice-cream is hot. What's your definition of "well written"? And the characters in Twilight are all Mary Sues and Gary Stues. Invalid answer. Whoop de doo for you. :P
46. It's set in America.
Everyone loves British people. What's your point?
So that's it! I made it in one day, I'm so proud of myself. :) Longest chapter I've ever written!
And I found a loophole! Sweetness! I hope it works...
If you think Twilight is still better, review me why. I'd like to see your point of view. Hopefully your reasons are better than this persons reasoning.
If you want more, review! If you want me to do another fandom (e.g Twilight better than PJO) then review me that as well!
Sorry if I made any mistakes, I haven't read HP in a LONG time.
Anyways, see ya, my fellow witches and warlocks! :D
Awesome as Annabeth