"What I Meant"
Author's Note: My first oneshot. Kind of sad. Review please! Make me happy! (Or if it's bad, make me sad…)
This is in Draco's pov, btw. And he's talking.
Have a wonderful day,
TruestBlue
"You ruined it.
I had it all set up, and I thought I knew how you'd respond.
It was supposed to be a surprise.
You were supposed to say, "What do you mean?"
But you never did.
Maybe you didn't catch the joke behind my eyes, or the hand behind my back.
Maybe you were just too worn out, maybe a little bit too distracted to see it.
Maybe.
One way or another, you left that night. You never gave me the chance to explain. I waited for you to laugh, but mostly I waited for you to ask.
But you never did. You just left without a word.
Every day I went over to your flat. I knocked on the door and peered through the windows until the neighbors complained. I knew you were putting up charms; you didn't fool me. But I left anyway.
I don't like to think of it as giving up, but that's what it was.
Every day I ask myself what would've happened if you'd known what I meant.
Something different, I'm sure. Something better.
I remember the way you used to laugh, like you were so innocent, even though I knew better. I remember the expression on your face when you were inexplicably horny. I'd be frustrated, then give in. Seeing you like that always made me hot and bothered anyhow.
I remember how it all happened: slowly. Tentative kisses, cautious caresses, shy looks that barley covered our lust.
You must have forgotten.
You must have forgotten, because if you had remembered, you'd know it couldn't end quickly either.
I'm angry with you for that. The forgetting. You were everything, Harry: everything. Something like that doesn't just slip.
Was I your everything?
Maybe.
Maybe not. If I was, would you have tired harder?
I was there. I saw the look in your eyes. He was dying. You could've left. You could've been free.
Maybe you are free.
You took a look at me, and you let him do it.
Did you do that because of me?
You're a damn fool, Harry. You were my everything. You never let me tell you what I meant.
And I'm back, thinking about that night, because I can't stop. I can't sleep, and I can't cry, and I can't eat, and I can't breathe, Harry, because of you. All I can do is think.
I can think about that night, and what would've happened if you'd known what I meant.
Did you think I would've just left you? Alone, then?
You're a damn fool, Harry Potter.
'I'm tired of this,' I'd said to you.
Maybe you didn't see the joke behind my eyes, and the hand behind my back.
Maybe.
You left, Harry.
You were my everything. Didn't you know?
Did you forget? I'm angry with you for that;
The forgetting.
You never gave me a chance, when you left.
You never let me tell you what I meant.
You never asked."
Draco, with trembling hands, pulled a little blue box out from behind his back. He watched Hermione fall to the ground with tears anew, shaking. Angry; Weasel should've been there to hold her.
He'd never hold her again.
He flipped the little case open to reveal a ring built for slender hands. Harry's hands. He dropped the ring into Harry's grave, already going cold.
How did this happen?
This wasn't what he meant.
How could Harry do this?
To him? For him?
"Harry Potter, you're a damn fool,"
People had begun to leave hours ago, done paying their respects. It was only him, and Granger, out in the cold, unable to leave.
Unable to move on.
They would never be done.
"You were my everything."
Author's Note: God, how depressing! Please review, and tell me how it was, okay?
TruestBlue