A Kiss Before Waking
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Author: kittyb90
Rating: PG-13 so far, might get worse later
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Summary: Set in the wake of The Gift and continues on into AU after that (WIP)
Reviews: Please, but don't be too harsh!
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Chapter 1 - Aftermath
Dawn sat on the floor; her back pressed against the bed, and stared blankly at the wall. She hadn't moved for a day and a half; her legs and back had grown numb, but the numbness felt good. The others had given up on trying to talk to her hours ago. After she had finally run out of tears everything around her had gradually faded into the background, people appeared blurry and warped; sounds seemed to come from a great distance. Every now and then one of them would come and stand in the doorway and watch her for awhile, trying to think of a way to reach her before bowing their head in defeat and walking slowly away. She was vaguely aware of their concern, but the only thing that seemed to be able to hold her focus was the spot in her mind where she replayed Buffy's sacrifice over and over with one thought flashing in her mind every time. "My fault. My fault. MY FAULT!" Her grief was still there, ever present, but greatly overshadowed by her guilt and shame. As Willow came to the door she saw Dawn lower her head to her knees and was filled with a subdued joy at this sign that Dawn was finally coming out of her stupor. She walked into the bedroom and haltingly said, "Dawnie?" There was no response, and as she continued to watch she realized that Dawn had lapsed back into her unmoving lassitude. Hand coming to her mouth to stifle a sob, Willow stumbled back out of the bedroom and slid down the wall to land with a jolt on the floor. With tears streaming down her face she wondered if they would ever get Dawn back or if they had lost her too.
He shuffled wearily into his crypt, just barely missing the sunrise, and collapsed into his chair to stare at the television. He had hoped he wouldn't make it in time. Then he could be free of the desolation pounding through his body. Well, he laughed bitterly, finally got what you wanted all those years. Except he wished with every ounce of his being that it had been him and not her. His head dropped to the back of the chair as a tear rolled down his cheek. It's my fault. I should have –
"Uh, hey." Spike jumped up at the hesitant voice, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"Oh, Red. Hi." Spike walked over to grab a smoke from the pack on top of the TV. He lit it and took a drag, staring at her intensely. He must really be off his game; he should have sensed her long before she spoke. "Help you with something?" Willow continued to look at him uncertainly for moment before apparently deciding to just spit out whatever was eating at her. She walked around touching things at random while she spoke.
"I know things are... rough right now for you, everyone, for uh, for all of us. And we haven't always been- well none of us has really ever been friends with you, but I, we, well, we need you. We need your help." Spike curled his lip in disgust.
"Oh, really? You lot need MY help?" He snorted sarcastically. "I don't know if you have enough money to --"
"It's Dawn."
"What do you need me to do?"
He stood in the doorway staring at the unmoving figure of the girl he had sworn to protect. There was a time when the she had been vibrant and full of life, but now she was a frail, broken mess. His heart ached at the thought of what she must be feeling. She had been blaming herself even before all this, but now she appeared to be paralyzed with the weight of her guilt. He had to put a stop to it; she wasn't to blame for any of this. If anything she was the only innocent one involved in all this mess. He took of his duster and tossed it on the bed before sitting down on the floor in front of her. He reached out and took her hands in his, but she remained unmoving. Downstairs Xander was pacing around the living room, clearly agitated.
"I don't see why we need him. He's probably up there making things worse and we're just sitting here doing nothing!" Willow looked at him sharply before replying,
"I've told you why we need him Xander, and would you please lower your voice! We're lucky he even agreed to come. If it had been anyone else but Dawn he wouldn't have. So I'd appreciate it if you kept your hatred of him to yourself instead of, I don't know, pissing him off so much that he leaves!"
"He won't leave." Giles said. He had been staring unseeingly at the floor, but now he looked up at them. "Much as any of us might hate to admit it, we were wrong about Spike. He honestly cares about her. Just as much as he cared for Buffy. He fought right alongside us, never wavering, and we've all seen how hard this has hit him. So cut him a little slack, Xander, this is tough for him too." Xander nodded wearily and sank onto the couch. Anya snuggled up against him and rubbed his arm comfortingly.
"Everything is going to be okay," she said. "You'll see. We'll get through this."
"Nothing will ever be okay again." Willow said sadly as she stared hopelessly out the window. They all bowed their heads in silent agreement.
TBC
===============================
Author: kittyb90
Rating: PG-13 so far, might get worse later
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Summary: Set in the wake of The Gift and continues on into AU after that (WIP)
Reviews: Please, but don't be too harsh!
===============================
Chapter 1 - Aftermath
Dawn sat on the floor; her back pressed against the bed, and stared blankly at the wall. She hadn't moved for a day and a half; her legs and back had grown numb, but the numbness felt good. The others had given up on trying to talk to her hours ago. After she had finally run out of tears everything around her had gradually faded into the background, people appeared blurry and warped; sounds seemed to come from a great distance. Every now and then one of them would come and stand in the doorway and watch her for awhile, trying to think of a way to reach her before bowing their head in defeat and walking slowly away. She was vaguely aware of their concern, but the only thing that seemed to be able to hold her focus was the spot in her mind where she replayed Buffy's sacrifice over and over with one thought flashing in her mind every time. "My fault. My fault. MY FAULT!" Her grief was still there, ever present, but greatly overshadowed by her guilt and shame. As Willow came to the door she saw Dawn lower her head to her knees and was filled with a subdued joy at this sign that Dawn was finally coming out of her stupor. She walked into the bedroom and haltingly said, "Dawnie?" There was no response, and as she continued to watch she realized that Dawn had lapsed back into her unmoving lassitude. Hand coming to her mouth to stifle a sob, Willow stumbled back out of the bedroom and slid down the wall to land with a jolt on the floor. With tears streaming down her face she wondered if they would ever get Dawn back or if they had lost her too.
He shuffled wearily into his crypt, just barely missing the sunrise, and collapsed into his chair to stare at the television. He had hoped he wouldn't make it in time. Then he could be free of the desolation pounding through his body. Well, he laughed bitterly, finally got what you wanted all those years. Except he wished with every ounce of his being that it had been him and not her. His head dropped to the back of the chair as a tear rolled down his cheek. It's my fault. I should have –
"Uh, hey." Spike jumped up at the hesitant voice, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"Oh, Red. Hi." Spike walked over to grab a smoke from the pack on top of the TV. He lit it and took a drag, staring at her intensely. He must really be off his game; he should have sensed her long before she spoke. "Help you with something?" Willow continued to look at him uncertainly for moment before apparently deciding to just spit out whatever was eating at her. She walked around touching things at random while she spoke.
"I know things are... rough right now for you, everyone, for uh, for all of us. And we haven't always been- well none of us has really ever been friends with you, but I, we, well, we need you. We need your help." Spike curled his lip in disgust.
"Oh, really? You lot need MY help?" He snorted sarcastically. "I don't know if you have enough money to --"
"It's Dawn."
"What do you need me to do?"
He stood in the doorway staring at the unmoving figure of the girl he had sworn to protect. There was a time when the she had been vibrant and full of life, but now she was a frail, broken mess. His heart ached at the thought of what she must be feeling. She had been blaming herself even before all this, but now she appeared to be paralyzed with the weight of her guilt. He had to put a stop to it; she wasn't to blame for any of this. If anything she was the only innocent one involved in all this mess. He took of his duster and tossed it on the bed before sitting down on the floor in front of her. He reached out and took her hands in his, but she remained unmoving. Downstairs Xander was pacing around the living room, clearly agitated.
"I don't see why we need him. He's probably up there making things worse and we're just sitting here doing nothing!" Willow looked at him sharply before replying,
"I've told you why we need him Xander, and would you please lower your voice! We're lucky he even agreed to come. If it had been anyone else but Dawn he wouldn't have. So I'd appreciate it if you kept your hatred of him to yourself instead of, I don't know, pissing him off so much that he leaves!"
"He won't leave." Giles said. He had been staring unseeingly at the floor, but now he looked up at them. "Much as any of us might hate to admit it, we were wrong about Spike. He honestly cares about her. Just as much as he cared for Buffy. He fought right alongside us, never wavering, and we've all seen how hard this has hit him. So cut him a little slack, Xander, this is tough for him too." Xander nodded wearily and sank onto the couch. Anya snuggled up against him and rubbed his arm comfortingly.
"Everything is going to be okay," she said. "You'll see. We'll get through this."
"Nothing will ever be okay again." Willow said sadly as she stared hopelessly out the window. They all bowed their heads in silent agreement.
TBC