Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: Greeting and salutations my dearest darling readers! Yes, it is I, your beloved author thetwinspartner-in-pranks. This next fic that I shall be writing –

Rafael55: What are you doing?! You bitch you said I could help too. What is all this "I" and "author" singular?

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: Shutup! I said you could help, not get credit for your help!

Rafael55: No need to be so snippy. I was just saying-

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: SHUTUP! Can we please get back to the fabulousness that is my story?

Rafael55: What about Voldemort? You didn't do Voldemort. He was mine.

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: One that sounded really bad. (For those of you who picked up on that right away and/or you live in the gutter we welcome you. You will be staying here for a very long time. While you are here, don't forget to pay your rent to my friend Jack. He owns the gutter. For those of you who are innocent, like Rafael55 here, and totally don't get those jokes, never fear. You will learn…) Two, the readers don't even know what you are talking about!

Rafael55: Damnit. Well, can I explain it? Huh, huh, can I? Pleeeeeeeaaaassssee?

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: Fine. Twit.

Rafael55: Well, this is a story about a girl and her foot-

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: What are you talking about? That's not even close to the story.

Rafael55: How do you know? You weren't there!

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't.

Rafael55: Is that a challenge?

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: What you want some of this?

Rafael55: You want some of this? Come on, bring it, bizich!

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: You wanna take this outside?

Rafael55: Well… it's raining. And I just got these leather shoes. You know what water does to leather.

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: True. Anyway, would you like to continue explaining the story?

Rafael55: Sure. So, this is a very serious, very intense, very angsty, very depressing, horroriablly horrific, terrifying, disturbing, not for the faint of heart…

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: stares and wonders how on earth she met this freak

Rafael55: Bwahahaha!!! Anime maniacal laughter!!!!!!!!!!! This is so cool.

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: Just get on with it. Tell them about the story.

Rafael55: Wait, I thought I was telling them about Voldemort. I don't even know what we are doing anymore!

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: Get over yourself and tell them about the damn story!

Rafael55: Fine. Big meany. Ahem. Yes, well this is a parody about Harry Potter. Actually it is the real story of Harry Potter. You see J.K. Rowling (yes we know she is a goddess) changed a few minor-

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: Major-

Rafael55: Well I didn't want to insult the goddess. Fans might kill us.

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: Whatever.

Rafael55: You see J.K. Rowling changed a few points in the real tale of Harry Potter to make it more appealing to the youngings.

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: How I loath little children…

Rafael55: They are rather sticky. Anyway this is the story of LGHP and the very lusted after Severus Snape, who is actually the main character. But J.K. Rowling couldn't name a book something like Severus Snape and the Sexy Man Pants. He's just too sexy for that. And it might be dubbed a porno.

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: I concure. For those of you who don't know what LGHP stands for, it will be revealed at a later date. In a later chapter. Later. As in, not now.

Rafael55: So, LGHP stands for-

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: I SAID LATER!!! NOT NOW. Don't make me get the gag.

Rafael55: AAHH! Assault! Help me she's attacking me!

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: Ignoring the flailing Rafael55 So. Basically our coughcoughmycoughcough-

Rafael55: Our! It's our story.

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: Fine. Our story is centered around the singular sensation that is Severus Snape (oooh, lots of s's). In other words, this is the real story of what really happened at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Rafael55: clap clap YaY!

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: What's up with the upper case "y"?

Rafael55: You don't know what your talking about. I will type however I want!

Thetwinspartner-in-pranks: Looks away from Rafael55 So are you intrigued? Slightly interested? FACINATED!? Then read on!

Rafael55: Or at least tune for the actual story.

Both: CHEERS!