Lois On the Warpath Part 1
"REESE!" Lois screeched. She was doing her usual weekend cleaning, though she didn't know why she bothered. Within an hour, the house would be dirty again. Not one person in the family actually listened to her when she screamed about the horrible punishments that would befall them if they didn't keepthe house clean. Lois angrily attempted to scour month old popcorn from the couch cushions.
Reese entered the living room. "What'd I do?"
"Is this yours?" Lois held up a "Playboy" magazine that she had found stuffed under the cushion of a large armchair.
"No, of course not," replied Reese hastily, "I think it's Dad's."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. I think I saw him reading it a few days ago." Reese grabbed a handful of moldy popcorn from the couch, and sauntered off to his room.
"What was Mom yelling about?" asked Malcolm.
"She found my Playboy. I blamed it on Dad." Reese sat down on his bed and started reading a comic book.
"Why'd you blame it on Dad?"
"Because I didn't want to get in trouble. Mom's been real mad at me lately. I don't know why."
"Maybe it's because of all the tests that you've been flunking. And the fact that you've been banned from half the places in town. And maybe it's because Dewey runs screaming from the room every time you come in. And Dad's pissed because you when you set off those firecrackers last week, you blew up some of his old records," Malcolm announced to his older brother.
"So what do you think they're gonna do to me?" Reese questioned.
"I don't know. But you better shape up soon, or they'll send you to Marlin Academy," Malcolm said.
"They would never send me to military school," scoffed Reese.
"How do you know? They sent Francis there."
* * * * * *
That night, Hal and Lois were sitting in bed, discussing what to do about Reese. He was just too wild. Something had to be done. It couldn't go on this way for much longer.
"Well honey, what do you think we should do?" Hal asked his wife.
"We can't send him to Marlin Academy, he's too young. That's too bad. I think Marlin Academy is just what he needs," sighed Lois.
"Hey, I've got an idea," Hal blurted out.
"What?"
"We could turn this house into our own little Marlin Academy!" he yelled excitedly.
"And how do you propose we do that?"
"Well, we could give Reese a glimpse of what military school is like. We'll make it so horrible, he'll be scared to death of it, and will act like the perfect child!" Hal, very pleased with himself for coming up with this idea, shut off the light, and went to sleep.
"You know, that's so crazy, it just might work," Lois thought out loud.
* * * * * *
Reese lay in bed, tossing and turning. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fall asleep. His brain was working overtime. Reese had never had so many thoughts tumbling around in his head before. Maybe I should change my ways. I really don't want to go to Marlin Academy. Some of the guys there are pretty scary. I mean, they shaved Francis's head! Plus, I would miss Dad, Malcolm, Dewey, and maybe even Mom! I think that I'll try hard to be a better son. Yeah right, like I could ever do that. Oh well, they won't really send me to Marlin Academy.
* * * * * *
The next, Reese woke up and went into the kitchen. Everything was spotlessly clean. Lois gave him an evil smile. "Good morning, Reese. Welcome to military school."