Stargate Universe – Substitute

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Characters: Young/T.J, hints of Chloe/Scott/James

Spoilers: Water (Missing scene)

This is a one shot but I hope you like it. I would love a review; it's great to know what people think.

The mistakes are mine.

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It didn't seem to matter how much he drank because his throat was still raw. All the fighting with 'mother nature', well a twisted version of it, had left him exhausted. He knew he had overexerted himself but he couldn't just leave the lieutenant on the planet to die. What kind of man did that?

When he had unclipped the helmet from the suit the old recycled air on the Destiny gently breezed his face. Normally he would have wished to be able to breathe the brisk winds of earth or feel the scent of summer. But today it was fantastic just to have made it back from the icy and poisoned world beneath them.

He was too tired to think he just stared at the lieutenant and all the people surrounding him; these were all good people. T.J had taken control of the situation, acting as a professional doctor. In some crazy way he realized he was proud of her. Chloe Armstrong seemed terrified and sad at the same time; no perhaps worried was the best description as she reached for Lieutenant Scott's hand.

Young suddenly felt frustration about everything on this ship and beyond. His messed up relation to Lieutenant Johansen, the lingering pain that wouldn't let go of him, Rush and his crazy ideas, the ship and the I.O.A representative who seemed to switch side in matters as it gained her personal interests.

He looked as Matthew Scott was taken away and rushed to the makeshift infirmary. It had been a close call today and if he was honest with himself there had been times when he had doubted that he had the power to do anything about it.

His thoughts suddenly went to Emily. She had told him she couldn't wait any longer when he first told her about his new command on Icarus. But did he listen? For him it was an opportunity to stay closer to her even if she didn't see it that way. And as it seemed, they would never be able to dial the mysterious ninth chevron and he could leave for earth anytime.

As things were now he would never be able to reach earth again; never be able to touch his wife again or feel her scent.

Young cast a glance towards Rush who just stood there as if frozen in place behind the dialing device. The scientist showed no regret about his words before and even if Young knew Rush was only thinking of what was best for the people stranded onboard the ship it angered him.

He couldn't really figure out the man and it irked him.

"Sir?"

He turned a little to see Lieutenant Vanessa James standing beside him looking concerned. When had she managed to sneak up on him? Crap he was losing his touch.

"Yes?" He replied.

"Lieutenant Johansen sent me to get you down to the infirmary sir."

Young looked down in the floor and sighed. She waited for him to reply but he seemed lost somehow. And when he looked at her again he had an expression on his face that she couldn't read.

"I am sure that could wait. Lieutenant Scott needs her more." He replied tiredly.

If he hadn't had the tight and rigid spacesuit on he was sure he would have fallen to the deck any time. But he wasn't sure about going to the infirmary.

"With all due respect sir…she is concerned about you."

He started to move away from the gate but his right leg didn't agree with the action and he stumbled and he would have fallen if the lieutenant hadn't steadied him.

"Are you sure you are all right sir?" She didn't like it, seeing her superior officer in this condition.

Vanessa James needed leadership, everyone onboard did and she didn't trust Camille Wray. When it came to Rush she didn't know what to expect, all she knew was that he couldn't be trusted.

"I am just tired lieutenant. I assure you it will pass."

"You have been through a lot lately sir, come on."

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Chloe sat near Scott's bed, as close as T.J had let her and she refused to leave his side even for a second. She liked T.J and considered her as a friend but she was after all just a medic. What if he didn't survive? What would she do then? She could always go to Eli he was a good friend but he was not her type. Chloe had started to form bonds with Matthew and she felt good when she was with him. He understood how it felt to lose family members and he was so kind to her.

Chloe looked at Scott's face, his features seemed more rested now, not in pain as before, but she was still afraid of losing him. How dared Rush even suggest that colonel Young should leave Matthew behind? How could he?

When her father had died all he talked about was the fantastic discovery of the ship they were now trapped together on. Was he totally oblivious to compassion or empathy? She didn't really understand him and she didn't need to, all she needed was someone to blame.

A monitor suddenly sounded above the chatter in the room and she jumped at the sudden alarm.

"T.J what's happening?" She moved closer.

Lieutenant Johansen quickly appeared at his side starting to check him over.

"Is…" She couldn't bring herself to say it. "Is he dying?"

The medic didn't answer and she felt a knot form in her stomach. She put her hands over her face not wanting to see. "T.J do something."

"T.J!" She shouted.

"Chloe shut up."

"What…"

Doctor Park walked over to her and gently put her hands on Chloe's shoulders. She felt herself being steered away from the bed.

"Everything that can be done is being done Chloe. Just don't lose hope." The scientist voiced softly. She looked at the younger woman reassuringly and let go of her shoulders.

"Okay." Chloe said reluctantly casting a glance back to lieutenant Scott.

"Come on let's go and find something to eat."

"Doctor Park I am not really hungry."

"Well something to drink then?"

They headed out in the corridor rounding a corner only to come face to face with Colonel Young and Lieutenant James. Chloe managed to stop herself at an inch's distance from Young.

"I'm sorry I was distracted, I…" She started automatically but stopped short as she took in the military commander's haggard features.

He seemed exhausted and the skin was clammy. His face had that sickly color of white again as it had had weeks before.

"…are you all right?" She blurted out. And she could have kicked herself for the stupid question.

He managed to smile faintly at her. "There is nothing wrong with me. It's been an exciting day that's all."

oooooooooo

T.J sat down on the chair close to Scott, her fingers shaking. She knew she could lose people around her, people that she called friends but still she was unprepared for the feelings it stirred.

What was she doing here trying to play doctor? She wasn't even close to a doctor's graduate. She had managed to save Colonel Young but there had been times when she had had to leave his side and cry.

When she had first arrived to the Icarus base she had been excited and had seen it as an adventure but now…she wished she had never set foot on it.

She closed her eyes and let her head rest in her hands trying to gather herself.

"How is he doing?" A soft voice said from behind.

She looked up to see Colonel Young's concerned face and a smile spread over her face before she turned serious again.

"I almost lost him moments ago." She confessed.

Young followed her gaze and his eyes landed on Matthew Scott. His features seemed more relaxed now but he was still unconscious.

"But he is alive now and that's all that matters." The colonel said softly.

Lieutenant James walked up to them, having stayed behind as Young talked to T.J. "Is it okay if I sit with him for a while?"

T.J nodded. "Call me if there's any change.

"Will do."

Tamara Johansen turned back to her commanding officer. "Colonel please come this way."

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Vanessa James looked at them as they walked further down in the room functioning as the infirmary, out her sight. It was something about the way T.J touched Young, she hadn't noticed before, but it was almost like she had touched Scott before that spoiled politician daughter laid hands on him. She shrugged thinking she had vivid imagination. Young and T.J? No that wasn't possible but then again he wasn't bad looking.

She let the matter rest and turned her full attention back to the man in bed. "Matthew Scott you are trouble but that's what I like about you."

She didn't hate Chloe either she just wished Scott would have chosen differently.

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T.J studied Young as he carefully sat down on a stretcher in front of her. He looked beat and the ghostly color on his face made her concerned.

"How are you feeling?" She asked trying to sound neutral.

Brown soft eyes met her sharp blue. "How are you feeling?" He countered softly.

He was thinking about her first, how typical of him. Caring, gentle and cute…no don't even go there T.J. She admonished herself.

"Don't worry about me colonel." The tone was sharp, sharper than she had wanted it to be.

The lieutenant looked away. "It is you I'm worried about."

"Well don't be." He answered trying to get her to look at him again.

She turned back to him. "I would appreciate if you're honest with me."

"Tamara…"

"Everett." She countered crossing her arms.

Great was this how it was supposed to be now? She was angry at him but for what? Had he done something to upset her? He didn't know anymore.

He did know one thing; he couldn't stop thinking about her no matter how hard he tried. And he really had tried and the further away Destiny went from earth the more hope he lost about ever seeing his wife again.

The irony of the situation made him laugh but he stopped short as a familiar ache spread around his chest.

T.J closed the small distance between them and started fidgeting with a stethoscope, placing it on his back.

"I told you I didn't like it." She glared at him.

"You knew what we were about to do on the planet. "

"You can be very persuasive."

"I felt up to it." He said stubbornly.

"You aren't a hundred percent yet; take a deep breath."

"It's been weeks." He protested.

"You could have died, sir." She said bluntly.

"Well everyone could." He replied as she moved to stand in front of him.

"Is that what we call each other now lieutenant?"

She placed the stethoscope on the bench and looked directly at him. "If we were on earth, where would you be sir? Her voice held a hint of sadness and disappointment.

They both knew the answer to that one. Young looked away and she couldn't help but look at his wedding band.

That should have been enough to stop her the first time but it didn't. Love hurt and it had always hurt Tamara Johansen.

She cleared her throat. "You are exhausted and a bit dehydrated. You have also developed a low fever but other than that…it's looking good."

"You do too."

"Please don't colonel." Her emotions were in conflict right now and he was making it so hard for her to try and let go.

He looked hurt. "I am sorry lieutenant. Can I go now?"

She nodded.

He slid off the stretcher and moved to pass her. In a weakened moment she reached out for him.

"I…" Brown eyes met blue and she swallowed. "I need you…"

He looked at her and suddenly felt angry at himself for wanting her. Why hadn't he backed away on the base? He had hurt her and…he couldn't do it any longer.

"Tamara…"

"No listen to me. You must make up your mind Everett." She took his hand and the next thing she knew they embraced in a fierce hug.

Feelings of hope and despair, regret and joy hung in the air. T.J closed her eyes holding onto him, not wanting to let him go.

It felt so good to have her in his arms; he had missed her so much.

"You must decide Everett." She whispered.

She looked at him sadly. "You must make up your mind. I can't be a substitute."

He didn't know what to say.

"I have to go and check on Scott now. You need to rest sir."

He watched her walk away and he hurt, not only physically this time.

The radio came to life and he reached for it distractedly.

"Sergeant Greer calling Colonel Young."

"This is Young."

"What do I do with Spencer sir?"

"You do nothing sergeant I am on my way from the infirmary."

"You good sir?"

"Never better."

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