The Rainbow Curse
Summary : Natsume stumbled upon the less divine-looking God he ever met and his six-and-a-half overzealous protectors. Things did not go smoothly from there, to the surprise of no one. KHR x Natsume Yuujincho Crossover
Disclaimer : Neither Natsume Yuujincho or Katekyo Hitman Reborn are mine, which is too bad but I shall recover through frantic fanficing (yeah. It's a word.) The quote at the beginning isn't mine either, though I've no idea where I took it from.
Rated T
Pairing : None, although I can't stop you from speculating.
AN : English isn't my first langage, and I'm not beta'ed
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Introduction, or how to out-maneuver your very own Youkai pet with minimal side damage
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"If you can't dazzle them with brillance, blind them with bullshit."
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"Where did ya said you w're going again?", asked Nyanko-sensei, as he came back from his usual party time with the other Youkai of Yatsuhara, his voice blurry with the gigantic amount of alcohol he had not doubt ingested tonight.
Natsume, busy packing for the new schooltrip he had found himself enlisted in, didn't ever bother raising his head from his closet. "Namimori mountain. And I don't remember saying you were coming, you stupid intoxicated Sensei. You smell awful by the way. Please don't let the Fujiwaras see you."
The highschool student waited for the usual concerto of indignant protestations, starting with "Moron, you ain't gonna survive one day without my divine protection!", nevermind the fact that Natsume did manage to survive fifteen years on his own, thank you very much, followed by "don't be impertinent with me, the great Madara-sama, you foolish human!" movement, ended by, if Natsume was especially lucky and Sensei particularly drunk, the ever classic "Just give me the Book of friends already!".
As if the teenager didn't already knew Nyanko-sensei was only stalking him for Touko-san food's. Well, also for the Book of Friends. But mostly for the food, that shameless free-loader.
That wasn't what happened that night however. No lecture on the utter importance of showing respect to your betters, not even one small insult to his intellect. Which, all in all, was much, much more worrying.
"Ah?", was surprisingly the only anwser he got from the infuriating youkai, who, after a long pause of reflexion probably lenghthened by his advanced drunken state, finally gratifed his 'target' with a simple "bah".
And that was what definitly set Natsume on edge. Because, according to his extensive knowlegde of his so-called bodyguard's vicious streak, this specific kind of "bah" could easily be translated into "I know something you don't 'cause I'm a ancient awesome youkai like that but I'm not telliiiiing to the puny stupid human".
Which would inevitably come biting him in the arse, because whatever Nyanko-sensei was not telling him, Natsume woul get somehow involved with. Inevitably. Somehow, there had to be some Universe's completely unfair Law stating that should one Natsume Takashi ever come close to some random Youkai Drama, he shall get find himself intangled in it, without fail.
This time however, Natsume was very keen on avoiding the problem before it even happened, therefore managing one harmless, boring, Youkai-free schooltrip at least once in his life.
That fake ugly cat was so going to spit whatever he was holding on out, or else.
"Oh no you don't", Natsume growled with what he hoped sounded like a threating voice, while extracting himself from his closet. "You know something, and you're not gonna stay quiet on this one."
"'I've no idea what you're talking about, Baka-Natsume.", unbelievebly denied Nyanko-sensei, while turning his head in a very obnoxious manner.
Oh come on. He couldn't even suppress his condescending smirk, that useless wasted cat. Truly, the only one Sensei could credibly lie to was himself. Unlike Natsume, who was quite skilled himself in the lying-through-your-teeth departement, a talent he was going to have to use here and now. For the good cause, obviously.
"Oh, I see", the teenager sighed dramatically. "If you want to play it like that, I don't have many choices, do I?"
Immediatly, despite his drunkeness, the youkai grew wary of the teen's deceptively light tone.
"What...what are you rambling about, Natsume?", inquired Sensi, eyes narrowed into a suspicious look, still clinging to his almost empty Sake bottle.
Pray the Lord the Fujiwara's never found about the 'secret' stash of sake Madara kept under a pile of clothes, because he doubted he could convice them it was the cat's, no matter his first-hand experience in justifying unlikely events.
"Well, if Sensei is being uncooperative, I'll have to do something drastic, unfortunatly. Have you ever heard of the world diet before?"
The Nyanko's eyes turned incredibly round, and it felt positively glorious to Natsume. "You wouldn't."
"I so would", contradicted Reiko's grandson with a huge smile. "How long do you think it would take me to convince Tokou-san that, for your own sake, a change of diet is in order. We wouldn't want you to die of a precocious heart attack with your incredibly high cholesterol, right?"
He probably wouldn't actually, if only not to lie to his surrogate mother more than he already had to. Besides, she would certainly worry over 'Nyankichi-kun's' health, no matter how pointless it was. But Sensei wouldn't think of that, would he?
"I'm not fat!", screamed hysterically the youkai, pointing accusingly his 'student' with what a was supposed to be a threatening paw. His current appearance completely ruined the effect though. "My real form is magnificent, and glorious, and more physically fit than your scrawny pathetic human carcass could ever hoped to be!"
Too true, although Natsume would rather choke than admit it to his face. His Sensei was insufferable enough without being actively encouraged.
"Well, the Fujiwara's can't know that, right?", argued the sandy-haired teen, with a thoughful look.
"Are you seriously trying to blackmail me, Natsume?"
Definitly.
"That's just mean, Sensei, when I'm only trying to look after you". Natsume didn't push the drama to actually pout, but the feeling was here nonetheless. The things he had to do, honestly. "Well, I guess I'll have to inform Touko-san of our new arrangements now..."
"Wait a minute!" Bingo. "Fine, fine, I'll tell you!"
Natsume just seat himself confortably, waiting for the youkai to stop sulking while erasing any trace of his inner smugness.
"Really, what would your friends say if they knew what a sadistic you truly are?", grumbled Nyanko-sensei.
Natsume refrained the urge to roll his eyes at bodyguard's antics, simply raising a inquisite eyebrow, a efficient move he had learned from Hinoe, though he was yet to be as proficient than she was.
"I don't know that much anyway. Rumors mostly."
"I'll take my chances.", Natsume smiled softly. "please enlight the poor ignorant human I am with your infinite knowdegde, Sensei."
"Drop the meaningless flattery, you're a thousand years early to ever think to fool me." Nyanko frowned, before eventually complying. "Have you heard of the Rainbow Curse, per chance?"
If the Youkai World had a Power Ranger Brigade, Natsume was so out of here, mandatory school trip or not. Or maybe it was some kind of Gay Pride?
"I cannot say I have, though it doesn't sound that terrible."
"Don't let yourself be fooled by the name.", Nyanko-sensei snorted. "From what I've gathered, a while ago, a god and seven powerful Youkai fell prey to an overwheming Curse, one that's still currently operative. Legends said the Curse is necessary for the balance of the Spiritual World, or something. Regardless of the reasons behind it, the Youkai had their power partially sealed, et condamned to be stuck into a shameful form."
"A shameful form? Like yours, Sensei?", despite the serious of the conversation, Natsume couldn't quite help himself from teasing his reluctant friend.
"Fool, whatever form I take are magnificent, remember that!", Nyako-sensi roared, or more accurently hissed. Cats were't made for roaring after all, whatever their 'real mind-blowing form' actually was.
"Hai, hai, absolutly", dismissed the teen with an soothing smile. "So, what kind of shape are we talking about? A worm? A rock?"
Natsume couldn't think of a more boring form to be stuck in than one of a rock.
"Worse", the cat shivered for emphasis at the thought, effectivelly channeling the inner Drama Queen his human friend always knew he had deep down. "Human children."
Ah. Well, Takashi couldn't conceive how being a human child was worse than a rock, but he hardly was an Youkai older than dirt, therefore probably lacking the proper minset. That, or Sensei was just that mad. Let's not go down that road, though.
"I see... I suppose they live in Namimori Mountain then?", Natsume ventured a guess.
"Nope, at least not that I know of. The God does though, if my info are still correct, that's it."
"Had he turned into a infant too?", asked Takashi, thinking of his friend Kai. It had been a long since he last saw the Mountain God. Perhaps he ought to visit him someday.
"Of course not", snorted Nyanko-sensei, sending a condescending glare to his student. "A curse wouldn't have the same effect on a God and Youkais, no matter how powerful they were in the first place."
Right. Because Gods can't do things like everyone else. "What happened to him then?"
"No idea. I've heard the story from on of the Cursed, and he was pretty secretive on the subject. You should ask Hinoe, she might know something. I swear that woman lives to gossip."
Pot and kettle, sensei. Pot and kettle.
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"Namimori Mountain?", repeted Hinoe after taking a draft from her long pipe. "Why the sudden interest?"
Taking Nyanko-sensei's advice to heart for once, Natsume had managed to corner her alone while the others were busying themselves partying, drinking themselves into oblivion and making a general embrassement of themselves. Natsume wouldn't have it any other way, if only for blackmailing material it provided, or so he told himself. He chukled quietly as Sensei began to argue over the vertue of some sake over another while gesturing wildly, his sake bottle still in his paws. Hinoe sent him a pointed glare, and the teen started recounting her his current 'situation'.
"Oh, it's one of those human things", noded the Youkai with an understanding sigh. "Well, I don't know much of the God either, actually, but he's not the one you should be worried about, I think."
"How so?", prayed the highscool student, completely attentive now. So there was something he should be worry about. Of course there was.
"The Namimori Mountain God is protected by six attendants. Well, seven. More like six-and-a-half I guess.", Hinoe answered, grinning as her young human friend grew more confused than before by her explanations. "They are very strong, and can be...overzealous when it comes to their master's safety. But, well, it's a huge mountain. I'm sure you can managed to avoid a few youkais for what, six days?"
Oh yeah, because that went so well before. This was going to turn into a disaster. Natsume could tell.
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"This is gonna be so awesome!" cheered Nijimura as he affectionly locked Nastume's neck with one arm from behind, and pumped his free fist through the air.
Takashi was absolutly convinced that one day, if Youkai didn't manage it before, Nichimura's sheer enthusthiasm would kill him. Worst of all, the sandy-haired teen probably wouldn't even mind. He was just that pathetically thirsty for genuine friendship.
"Nichimura!" howled Sasada with indignation, fortunatly not meant for Takashi's himself. Not that he would admit it anytime time soon, but the class representative could be..intense. Which was a understatement for borderline scary if one was feeling like being honest, but Natsume was perfectly fine with staying in Denial territory, thank-you-very-much. " You're choking Natsume-kun you idiot!"
"You can't choke someone with a one arm-hug, Rep", loudly protested said idiot, thankfully releasing his victim from his friendly but tight embrace.
The two of them began to argue as they usually did, while Kitamoto laughed at their antics in the background.
"Well, it's certainly lively here", a familiar deep male voice noted with amused tone.
"Tanuma, Taki!", exclaimed Natsume as he finally noticed his friends' arrival. "What are you doing here?"
The question wasn't without value. Neither of them were part of the trip, since only Natsume's class would be going to Namimori Montain, therefore had no reason to be on schoolground a Sunday morning.
"We came to see you off, Natsume-kun", softly answered Taki, adressing him a enthusiastic smile that failed to completely hid the concern in her eyes. She, along with Tanuma, was probably worried he would find himself into some endangering Youkai problem, not without reason.
What a terrible friend he made, making them feel bad about him all the time.
"Taki-san came to wish me goodbye!", swooned Nichimura in a impressive demonstration of selective deafness and complete denial. "I feel so happy!"
Kitamoto had definitly given up on keeping the bit of retenue he had left and was all but rolling on floor with laugher. Lucky man.
"They came for Natsume-kun, idiot!", roared Sasada, as she gratified the infutuated teen of a smack behind the head, with the tiny hope it might get him back to Earth. Because, deep down, the class representative was such an optimist.
Tanuma laughed heartfully at their antics, Taki chuckled quietly behind her hand, and Natsume resisted the urge to smile from ear to ear, in a futile attempt to stop his heart from combusting from sheer happiness.
"Is Ponta coming with you?", inquired Tanuma in a low voice, and Taki suddently perked up with stars in her eyes. How could she find the fat pig-cat cute, Nastume had no idea for the life of him.
"Since I didn't see Sensei this morning, and that my bag is much ,much heavier today than yesterday, I dare say he is." the sandy-haired teen shruggled with a sheepish smile, as his bag began to move on his back, probably in protestation for the weight comment. "I'll be just fine, don't worry. It's only for a week, right?"
Tanuma smiled back weakly, likely pondering in his head all the things that could happened to Natsume in such a long lapse of time, whereas Taki simply rose an eyebrow in septicism. She had long given up on the "what could possibly go wrong" school of thought, especially when one Natsume Danger-really-is-my-middle-name Takashi was concerned.
The two of them kept their worry to themselves however, for there was little they could actually do anyway, and waved goddbye to their friends as Kitamoto dragged a sheepish Natsume to the bus waiting for them.
Everything would be just fine. Right.
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"Two days."
"Is that a bet, Taki? I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to bet on your friend's well being. What are the stakes?"
"Bragging rights?"
"One day. I doubt Nastume could stay out of trouble more than twenty-four hours on known Youkai territory."
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