Welcome, I am king Sinbad, conqueror of the seven seas and the coolest guy you'll know.
And you are you, as you might have guessed.
Anyway, as I have had the pleasure meeting many of your kind I'll consider myself an expert on this subject, and so consider this a guide to help you adjust to our world.
What am I talking about you may ask?
You are a special individual known as a Mary Sue (I heard one of you say that once...so I have no clue where it originated from.) you have come here, probably from the planet earth, having been magically brought to this world.
You're going to be disoriented for a while, but follow this guide's directions and everything will be fine. -King Sinbad, the adventurer of the seven seas.