Hey! This is my first fanfiction I've created in a while and the first songfic I've ever written and actually thought was well enough to post.
I enjoyed writing this, but I became depressed as the words rolled onto the screen. To say the least, I felt that the character was my friend and that I should have changed it. But, somethings ends the way they do for a reason.
Oh, I don't own Naruto (-insert wishful thinking-) nor do I own the awesome and fantabulous Hana Fuzen. You'll see who she is soon enough. Maresia Eterna owns her and, if you want to understand this better or read some delicious stories of hers, just type in that name into the search engine and viola~
Anyway, please leave reviews so I know if I should post the sequel or not...I'm still debating with myself...
Please enjoy! ^-^
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I need
And everything that we should be
Wind was playing with the hair of a young woman while she held a book tightly against her chest. Her gaze was on the sky as she walked through the empty streets of the village, thinking about her latest assignment.
Unfortunately, other thoughts began to cloud her mind, and her hazel eyes fell from the bright stars to the ground below. Her thoughts had been plagued by the upcoming events which would torture her once again. No matter what she tried to think of to get her mind off of what was to happen in only a few days, the constant recollection left her heart aching. It felt as if someone was taking a nail and shoving it through her chest every hour as some form of punishment for falling in love.
The distraught girl shook her head once more. The future she had seen coming was inevitable, something she had told herself would happen again and again. Yet, the aching did not cease. She wound up clutching her chest, holding the book tighter and tighter. She began to wonder if she would even be able to attend the ceremony. To watch him wed someone other than…
Before she knew it, the brunette had reached her home. With a heavy heart, she opened the door and walked in, placing the book on a table near the entrance. She solemnly drug herself into her bathroom to brush her teeth and take care of other hygienic duties. All the while, her mind returned to that train of thought. She remembered when they had first started dating.
I'll bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without
She sat there, reading her book beneath the tree while her friend sat only a few feet away, staring at the sky. It was a nice summer day, the breeze bringing the scent of different offerings from the restaurants not far from where they sat, enjoying the quiet.
He broke the silence, which shocked the reading woman.
"Hey," He began casually, "You remember that troublesome woman from the Sand?" The topic caused a lump to form in the girl's throat.
"Hai…why do you ask?" The once sweet breeze felt as if it was suffocating the poor girl. She wasn't sure if she wanted to continue the conversation.
He didn't seem to notice. "Well, a couple days ago, she paid an…unexpected visit…" His pauses were not helping the one behind the tree as the lump grew larger and her lungs closed in. "She had come to…see me…" It was as if the air had turned solid all around her. It was as if her vision was clouding over, but she shook her head to compose herself, again going unnoticed as he continued.
"We…She, um…asked me…" He seemed to be struggling to find the right way to break the news, but she already knew what he was going to say. It was something she had planned on, something she'd known was inevitable. That was the fact she dreaded most.
Even through all the suffering she had put herself through, nothing before that had hurt worse than when he said, "We're together…"
Drew talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's so damn funny
I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me
It seemed so long ago since they had started dating. Yet, it wasn't long enough. It was never long enough. Her hair swayed from left to right as she dressed in her night clothing, looking about as depressed as a mother grieving over the loss of a child. She felt as if she was being ripped in two and shredded, but it didn't matter. She didn't care.
'I just want him to be happy' She thought, sitting on her bed and staring down at her hands. It was selfish, she thought, to try and pry him away from someone so perfect for him. So stupid to throw their friendship away because of her emotions. She didn't want to lose that. She didn't want to lose him.
As she crawl under her covers and lay at the head of the bed, her eyes were stuck to the ceiling. The white roof played images of the two of them, walking and laughing at silly things. He would always complain about the simplest of things, causing her to giggle at his goofy discomforts, making him, in turn, become confused or amused. She missed those times.
The images suddenly shifted to those of him and the other girl. That beautiful girl with her perfect figure and her dirty blonde hair. He had all the reason to love her. He was a lazy procrastinator and she was the one who would kick him into doing what was needed. He was her perfect match. She was his life. The urges and aches of one silly and selfish girl wasn't going to ruin that. Her mind ran, once again, to what he had told her a few months earlier as she turned to her side.
He says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about at night
"Hey!" A male with dark brown hair shouted to a girl holding a book out front of a library. The girl returned the wave and greeting with a smile as he ran up to her. This worried her. Why was he running.
"I…I have something to tell you…" He breathed, seemingly having run for a short while. The girl listened attentively.
"Y…you know the troublesome woman from the Sand, right? The one I wa-- am dating?" The reminder crushed her happy mood, but she smiled and nodded nonetheless.
"Well, we've been dating for a while and…" He reached into his back pocket while the girl became restless. Her conclusion as to what was about to happen pushed the dagger in her chest farther in. It had been about a year and a half since her best friend and the girl from Suna had begun dating. She thought it would take longer. She had prayed in the back of her mind that it would never come.
Her suspicions were confirmed as her forbidden hopes fell to the ground when he pulled out a small box. She hoped it was earrings. Secretly prayed it was a necklace.
When he opened the box, a small ring shone beautifully from the center. For a moment, all the girl wanted to do was crash and sob. Instead, she looked up at him and smiled brightly.
"Do…do you think she'll like it? I've never really bought or done anything like this so I'm not positive…" His dark eyes searched hers for an answer and saw a hint of neglect. If only he had understood the true reason for that glimmer. "Maybe I should return it…maybe it's too soon…Maybe--"
"No" The girl was shocked at the words leaving her mouth. "If…if you truly love her…there's no point…in waiting…" Her eyes were going to tear over if she didn't end the conversation quickly. "I know she'll love it!"
The boy's eyes turned softer as he shut the case and returned it to his back pocket. "Thanks" He said, embracing the girl for a moment before leaving her and running to where his true love wait.
If he had stayed for one second longer, he would have been able to catch the water dripping from her face.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
The morning came too early for the girl under the covers. It seemed everything was doing that to her lately. She lay in bed after turning off her alarm clock. Her eyes were once again locked with the ceiling. The sunlight streaming through her open window had become an enemy just as the scene of the beautiful sky outside. Everything was going wrong for her. But she didn't care. Because everything seemed to be going right for him.
Eventually, she knew, she would have to get up and get dressed for the event. The day she dreaded. No matter how much she had told herself she would be prepared for this, would be happy for him and forget her own minor issues with it, she had loathed the Xs on her calendar. Even more so the circled date. She knew it was stupid, felt like an idiot for holding such a grudge for some red marker and paper, but she couldn't help it.
The girl moved with slow and unwilling movements to get off of the bed and into her bathroom. The faster she was done, the sooner he would belong to that Sand girl. And the sooner she would lose him. Of course, she never had him. Knew she could never have him. All this knowledge still couldn't prevent her heart from crumbling with every step she took. The walk to the bathroom were like repetitive blows to that nail.
Step, Bang, Step, Bang!
The steps to her closet.
Step, Bang, Step, Bang!
The steps to her transportation.
Step, Bang, Step, Bang!
The steps up the church stairs.
Step, Bang, Step, Bang!
She began to wonder if it would end after the ceremony. Or if it would end at all.
As she made her way in, her dress on and her jewelry in place, her eyes caught those of her friends. Her best female friend came up to her, her eyes looking to the floor.
"A…Are you g-going to be--"
"I'll be fine!" The girl lied to her lavender eyed friend. Although her eyes were not as good as her cousin's, the shy girl could see past her friend's façade. She could see behind her hazel eyes that she was falling apart, trying hard not to cry. And she felt terrible for being unable to help her.
"Sh…should I do something? Is there a-anything I c-could do?" The brunette simply shook her head, still smiling too vibrantly. The other girl simply looked back down at her feet in defeat, walking back to a blonde haired boy who was screaming something about it being about time. The crushed one almost laughed at that.
As the girl stood there, her arms folded, her weight shifting, a tug on her arm sent her into another room where she came face to face with the groom.
Drew walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
"Sorry about snatching you like that," He apologized, seemingly worried about something as he button up his tuxedo. The fact he looked absolutely stunning did not help the poor girl.
"I need your help!" He pleaded, taking the girl by the shoulders. A light shade of pink covered her cheeks as he held her in such an odd manner. He seemed fine to her, all except his tie which was wrinkled and unfolded on his chest.
"I never was good with these damned things…" He complained, making the girl giggle again, despite her current mood. He looked up from fiddling with his accessory and smiled. The girl blushed deeper as she assisted him with his tie.
"I almost forgot…" He said in a monotone voice, making her look up at him in confusion herself. The closeness between them was enough to make her heart jump, so she took a step back.
"Forgot what?" She asked a bit timidly.
"About how confusing you where…" He teased, checking himself out in the full length mirror. He truly did look handsome. The girl's eyes fell to the ground and, for the first time, the boy noticed.
"Something wrong?" He asked in a concerned voice while adjusting the tie a bit.
"N-no…" She responded. She looked back up and smiled. "I'm…I'm just…happy for you, is all."
His eyes widened for a second before turning soft again, once more causing a ping in her chest.
"Thanks," He said. The girl continued to smile before he left the room. When he was gone, she ran into the bathroom and cried in one of the stalls.
She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause
Finally, the precession began. The brunette was seated next to her friend who had found her in the bathroom and helped her clean up. Thankfully, she was the only one to see the crying girl in such a state.
The lavender eyed female held onto her friend's hand as the groom stood at the podium and the song played. Every moment after first having met him rushed into the girl's mind; the time they spent together, the many times they had embraced in times of need, when he had told her that he and the Suna girl had started dating, when they were going to get married, and then the dreadful realization of what she was losing.
For some crazy reason, the brunette suddenly wanted to stand up and scream what she had held in for so long. She wanted him to know before it was too late. Her friend's grip became tighter as the breathtaking bride made her way down the aisle. As her hazel eyes scanned her gorgeous dress which complemented her form, the girl knew it was over. She knew she had lost him. As soon as she saw how he looked at her, she knew.
And the ceremony went on.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
After the cake and 'I do's, the brunette walked outside just in front of her transportation. Lavender eyes locked with her own for the third time that day. Her friend's eyes seemed to penetrate her own as she stood, half in and half out of the vehicle. The other girl simply frowned in her direction, her hand in front of her lips as if she was preventing herself from saying something she would regret. She turned and left the girl in the car, looking down at her shoes and her dress.
It was done. He was hers. She was his. That was it. That's all the brunette had asked for and more; his happiness. For him to get all that he deserved out of life. She hadn't thought of where that would leave her. Nor did she care.
Because he was happy.
So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight
When she had made it home, the brunette walked into her house with even more tired steps than the previous day. She felt as if all her movements were done automatically, her own mind on other things. She kept reliving the moments before she knew about that other girl. When she believed they had had a chance. Even after, before they had begun dating and before he was spending all of his time with her.
Choji may have had an easier time adjusting to that, but she took it harder. Her cousin loved him like a brother. She loved him. Even if she shouldn't.
Having trudged into her bedroom without taking a bath or brushing her teeth or anything else she would've normally done, she headed straight to her bed and fell onto it. Her head turned to the side only to come face to face with an image of herself as a child in her mother's arms. Next to that was a picture of Choji and her playing as toddlers. In front of that, however, was a picture of her and him. It was a normal picture, just as any of the others. But, the other images didn't make her stomach do flips or make her eyes burn.
She reached out and put the frame on the table, face down. She couldn't look at him. She couldn't imagine him. If she did, it would only hurt worse. She decided from that day forward, she would no longer think of him like that at all. After all, he was moving to Sunagakure with his new bride. He wouldn't be there to indirectly hurt her. Even though they would hardly see each other, at least she wouldn't destroy their bond. They could still talk, and she could move on. She could find someone like he did. Even if she knew it would still hurt.
Before going to bed, the girl uttered her final words to him.
"Goodbye, Shikamaru-kun…"
'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
A few years later, a woman with wild brunette hair sat in a chair in the library, reading through a blue-covered book. She had been spending more time in there since her husband had been on a few missions recently. Caught up in her reading, she failed to notice a familiar face enter the building.
"Oi" A dull voice reached her ears, a voice she hadn't heard in about three or four years. She looked over her shoulder where a hand rested to see the face of Nara Shikamaru.
"Sh-shikamaru-kun?" She questioned, earning a slight glare from him.
"It's only been a few years. You've forgotten me already? Jeez…" His complaints earned a giggle from the girl that he hadn't heard from in years.
"N-no…it's just…wow!" She exclaimed, her eyes wide with excitement and joy.
"I didn't know you were coming back! When did you get here?"
He shrugged. "Not too long ago. Temari wanted to come back and see some old friends. That, and the Kazekage has some business with the Hokage…" His voice trailed off as he scratched the back of his head. "So, how've you been?"
The girl looked out of the corner of her eyes before looking back at him. "I've been…alright. How about you?"
"About as good as one can be with a woman constantly nagging him"
Again, the girl giggled.
"Oh! Shikamaru-kun?" She questioned and he looked at her questioningly.
"Do you know?" She asked, tapping her ring finger on her cheek. He hadn't noticed until then the ring on her finger.
"N-nani?" He looked shocked, which surprised her. "Who?" He asked.
She smirked at him and replied, "Lee-kun was upset about what happened between Sakura and Sasuke, though he knew it would happen. We became close friends and…well!" She giggled softly once more.
Shikamaru stood there smiling before his wife came in.
"Hey, Lazy Ass, we need to get going!" She called.
Shikamaru sighed and replied, "Mendokusee…"
Again, the girl giggled and the boy looked at her for a moment, lost in thought.
Before long, Temari was calling him again and he was walking off.
"Hey, Hana" He called to the brunette who looked up at him.
"Don't be a stranger" He ended, walking after Temari who was yelling at him for walking off without telling her. He kept apologizing and repeating "Troublesome", which Hana smiled at.
Her smile faded as she stared at the words of the book.
It seemed she would never fully get over him.
He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
ShikaHana forever~