Well, I'm currently waiting out Hurricane Irma with my folks and it is BORING! Fortunately, I came up with this concept yesterday and thought it would be fun to make into a short fanfic. This is the first time I've ever written a musical number in anything, but I think it turned out alright.
Anyway, enjoy!
You and Me Together
"So, we're midway through cheesecake and Kofi is full to bursting," Naefua narrated, "I turn to him and I say 'Kofi, you're bloated. You need to cut back on the cheese.'"
Kiki stepped on a whoppee cushion. FAAARRT!
"Not that cheese!"
The audience burst into laughter as Kiki and Naefua bowed and left the stage. "And that was Kiki and her amazing ventriloquist dummy!" Mr. Smiley said into his microphone as he addressed everyone. "Now, for our last Beach-a-Polooza performance, we have something truly special. You know them as the protectors of our city. Give it up for the Crystal Gems!"
Everyone cheered as Mr. Smiley exited the stage and the lights dimmed. After a few moments in darkness, the spotlights lit up, revealing a grand piano with Steven at the helm. Standing in front of it were Ruby and Sapphire. Both were dressed in 60s dance clothes and microphone headsets. A nod from Sapphire got Steven started on the piano, playing a funky tune.
"If I were a rich Gem," Sapphire began, "In the service of Blue."
"I'd live in a penthouse," sang Ruby, "In a room with a view."
Sapphire continued, "And if I were evil. (What) It could happen. Some visions come true. I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have you. Wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have. Wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have. Wouldn't have nothing…"
Ruby stepped up and took over. "For years I have envied (you're making me blush) your grace and your charm. Everyone loves you, you know (Yes, I know, I know, I know). But I must admit it, Sweetheart you always come through. I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have you."
The two Gems took each other's hands and began singing together. "You and me together! That's how it always should be! One without the other, don't mean nothing to me! Nothing to meeeeeee!"
They let go and Sapphire bashfully rubbed the back of her head as she started again. "Yes I wouldn't be nothing (Don't be so hard on yourself) if I didn't have you to serve (What? I'm the Ruby). I'm just a punky little eyeball (No you're not) and a funky optic nerve (A cute one at that)."
She chuckled before continuing. "Hey, I never told you this but (I'd listen to you all day) sometimes I get a little blue (gasp. Really?), but I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have you." She took Ruby's hand. "Dance with me."
Steven began his piano solo as the two Gems tangoed across the stage. After a bit of dancing, the two halted and Ruby took over. "Yes I wouldn`t be nothing (oh Ruby!) if I didn`t have you (Don't beat yourself up!). I wouldn`t know where to go (Oh no, don't say it) or know, what to do (Is my vision that important?)."
Once again, they both joined together. "I don`t have to say it,"
Ruby: "Aw say it anyway."
"cause we both know it's true. I wouldn`t have nothin if I didn`t have, I wouldn`t have nothin if I didn`t have, I wouldn`t have nothin if I didn`t have. Wouldn`t have nothin if I didn`t have. Youuuuu."
The lights dimmed and the stage again fell silent, before Ruby suddenly hollered, "One more time!"
The lights came back, revealing Peridot and her one-Gem metal band, playing alongside Steven for the big final.
"It worked!"
As the band launched into the final, Sapphire sang, "Don't have to say it (Where did she come from?!) cause we both know it's true (let's take it home Sapphy!)."
In one voice, they finished, "I wouldn`t have nothin if I didn`t have! I wouldn`t have nothin if I didn`t have! I wouldn`t have nothin if I didn`t have!" Ruby began swinging Sapphire around. "You! You! You! A E I O, that leaves U!" In a white flash, the two Gems vanished and Garnet appeared, posing for the final beat of the music.
The audience gave a standing ovation as the four Gems proudly walked to the front of the stage and bowed. "My, oh my!" Mr. Smiley had to yell into his microphone to be heard over all the cheering. "Now THAT'S what I call a one-woman show! And what a way to end Beach-a-Polooza! Thank you everyone for coming and we'll see you next year!"
And there you have it. For those of you who didn't recognize the song, it's "If I Didn't Have You" from the closing credits of Monster's Inc (one of my favorite Pixar movies).
I do not own "If I Didn't Have You" or Steven Universe.
Please leave a comment and stay safe! Bye!