The Uncle Cooper Conundrum

"This is ridiculous, Penny."

The waitress cast the doctor a sideways glance as she strapped on yet another pair of flats. Sheldon rolled his eyes and checked his watch which felt like the billionth time that hour. Good lord, were women insane.

"Aw, C'mon, Sheldon!" she pouted as she walked across the aisle several times to test out the shoes. She had dragged the uninterested physicist along as a payback for taking him to the comic book store. Since Penny had to spend an hour and a half watching Shelly decide between "The Flash" and "Green Lantern", it was his turn to suffer.

"Do ya think the pink ones or the yellow ones?" The blonde asked absent-mindedly holding up the two pump heels. Sheldon looked up, quizzical as she handed the shoe boxes to him.

"Ummm…" he stuttered as Penny shook her head.

"Yeah, I should probably try them both on." she said adding a playful smirk. Penny just loved getting Sheldon all pissed off for some reason. Maybe that having a hot-headed friend was just fun to have to push buttons with. It could also be because little Shelly was just too innocent and cute to fight back.

"Hey, Sheldon! Look I'm as tall as you!" The young woman giggled as she stood next to the physicist. Sheldon glared at the pretty girl. He obviously did not like being outdone…especially with his height.

"If it weren't for those shoes, you wouldn't be," The doctor mumbled as he gave his neighbor an exasperated glare. Penny rolled her eyes and unstrapped her heels. She could already sense the envy that was boiling inside him. Maybe she could dial back her button pushing for just one day.

"Alright, Cooper," she smiled as she looked back up into his ocean blue eyes. "I'm back to my 5'5, height. You happy?"

"I'm not unhappy," he replied with a satisfied grin. "But I feel more comfortable, see?" Sheldon moved his hand from his forehead to above Penny's level to show the height difference. Penny sighed in both annoyance and amusement at the whimsical man.

"Your height can never compete with my 6'2 stature," Sheldon boasted as the two walked out of the clothing store. Penny playfully punched his shoulder as he whined and looked down at her.

"What was that for?"

"For being you,"

Penny beamed up at the young man. He looked somewhat puzzled yet intrigued at that last statement.

"Hey, ya wanna go grab some ice cream?"

"Penny, although I find your vernacular somewhat charming, I encourage you to use proper language. Anyway, I wouldn't mind an ice cream considering the 92 degrees weather."

The blonde ignored the first statement but offered a smile as the two began to walk to the nearest Dairy Queen. The day really was gorgeous with puffy, cumulous clouds patched over the pale blue sky. Wow, the sky was almost as blue as a certain physicist's eyes she knew. Oh, what was Penny thinking? Dr. Wackadoodle drives her nuts!

The jingling of the store's bells on the door alerted the clerk as she looked at the two young adults.

"What can I get for the lovely couple?"

Penny and Sheldon both exchanged pale glances as they shook their heads immediately.

"Oh, no no no. We aren't a couple," Penny protested before Sheldon could open his loud mouth. Penny glanced over at him to see his expression a little hurt but his cheeks were mostly bright red in embarrassment. Why would he want to be in a relationship with a dumb bimbo like her?

"My mistake, what can I get you?"

"Medium vanilla ice cream cone, please."

"And you, sir?"

Penny sighed as she knew the whole Sheldon ice cream routine by heart. The bad thing was that this poor, innocent woman was going to have to witness it.

"Half chocolate half vanilla side by side not swirled, half a teaspoon of sprinkles, rainbow not chocolate, 2 cherries one on top one on the bottom stems removed."

Penny winced as she glanced at the clerk who was blank faced, poor thing.

"Um, can you repeat that sir?"

"Of course, half chocol-"

"Oh for god's sakes, Sheldon!" The waitress grabbed the physicist's arm as she dragged him to the nearest table. She didn't even care if the lady at the counter screwed up the order she just couldn't hear the doctor ramble on about it.

"Well, that was a bit uncalled for," Sheldon commented adding an obnoxious eye roll. Penny narrowed her eyes at him but sighed as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh, trust me, sweetie. It was completely called for."

Sheldon awkwardly stared at Penny as she fiddled with a strand of hair. The two hadn't spent much time together since Amy joined the group. Either Sheldon was out on "date night" with the neurobiologist or Penny was out on a date with Leonard. Penny didn't want to admit it but she really missed spending time with her quirky friend. It hurt her a lot.

"Sheldon, what are you doing tonight?" Penny finally asked after she built up enough courage. Sheldon shrugged as he picked at his fingernail.

"Well Amy and I were going to have our 'date night'…but…"

"But what?"

Sheldon fidgeted in his chair and Penny could see that his lip was faintly trembling.

"I seem to have upset her."

Penny placed a hand over her heart as it all came to her. Amy was recently complaining to her about how the wackadoodle doesn't give her enough attention. Penny was torn between Amy's side and Sheldon's side. Of course she couldn't blame Amy about how annoying it was for Sheldon not to lay a finger on her. Girls need a man's affection. She also couldn't blame Sheldon about his physical contact issue. She knew Sheldon. He didn't show his affection through hugs and kisses. He showed it through talking and smiling.

"I'm sorry sweetie but I think we know the issue here," Penny said sympathetically.

Sheldon looked at her with a blank expression on his face, obviously not seeing the problem.

"She wants to get physical with you," Penny replied softly as Sheldon nodded once again.

"I believe that is an issue, Penny. I'm just not comfortable with physical contact as you have learned over the past six years."

"It's alright sweetie. Just give Amy some time and she'll understand." Penny offered a bright smile which Sheldon half returned.

"Alright here's your ice cream, ma'am."

"Thanks."

"Here's your ice cream, sir." The waitress cast a nervous glance at Penny who nodded to reassure her. His ice cream looked correctly made to her but Sheldon would be the judge of that.

"So, Sheldon I was thinking maybe we should head home after this…Sheldon?"

"Ackkkk! Ackkkkk! Cherry stem! Cherry stem!"