AN- Sorry, before you read this there may be some smut in the later chapters, hence the M rating (just to be
safe) so I warn the more sensative readers, stop reading if that sort of thing offends you. Also this is my first fanfic
that I've had the confidence to publish, so any constructive criticism would be welcomed. Please read and review, I
hope you guys like it, and if anyone is interested in helping me correct any typos or any non-American phrases I
would be really grateful. Thanks, I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer- As much as I would love to say I do own NCIS LA, I own nothing (apart from this storyline), only Shane
Brennan has that honour.
She couldn't believe this was happening to her. In the past she was always made sure this couldn't happen to
her...hell she even prided herself that she was so careful, so that she would never be caught in this situation. Yet,
there she was, sitting on the edge of her bathtub in her slightly crowded bathroom, feeling her world had suddenly
seized to stop moving. How could everything go wrong so suddenly? Two hours ago she was walking back through
the Spanish style doors in to the mission, laughing and joking with her partner Deeks, waiting for her debriefing on
the tricky case that she had been working on for the last two weeks. And now here she was, her whole fate now
destined by the little plastic stick that she held in her hand. It scared her so much that her first instinct was right
and that was the reason why she had been feeling so ill the last few days, not that she had eaten one too many
Twinkies and doughnuts like Deeks had suggested. Her face immediately dropped at the thought of Deeks.
'Oh my God, how on earth am I going to tell him', Kensi thought horrified, as she realised sooner or later she was
going to have to talk to him, as she had to face him at the work the next day. She was lucky that tonight he wanted
to give Monty a long run down by the beach and then crash at his own place, to make up for him spending the last
four nights at Kensi's, otherwise he would be here right now facing the same life-changing experience as Kensi. For
once, even though they had been partners for almost three years now, she had absolutely no idea how he would
react to what Kensi had to tell him.
She made up her mind that she would tell him by the end of the week, if he didn't notice beforehand and confront
her on what was wrong. She already knew she could only last so long lying to Marty Deeks as he read her like an
open book. Being a professional liar has its advantages, yet her ability to lie her way through an awkward situation
had never worked on Deeks before. It didn't matter whether her secret would be kept in the dark for long, even
if...no... When she told Deeks, as the rest of the team would start to notice the small changes about her that would
inevitably come. Kensi sighed loudly, realising that once Deeks knew, her undercover work-especially missions
involving her having to get close with other men or putting herself in any amount of 'danger'- would generate a hell
of a lot of tension between her and Deeks, as he will probably try to protect her from any harm. Deeks would end
up trying to look after her more than normal, which would raise Sam and G's suspicions again, especially after their
many unconvincing attempt to downplay the reality of their relationship. Truth be told, Kensi knew that there wasn't
anyone else that she was an honest and who she completely trusted with as much as she did with Deeks, as he
was the only one that she would ever trust wholeheartedly with her life, as he did with her. Somewhere over the
many years spent together, first as two people forced to be partners, then as friends who chose to spend many a
night together after a hard day a work, their mutual dislike from being stuck with one another lessened and turned
into something else that scared Kensi to her soul. Somewhere along the way she realised she fell in love with the
shaggy haired, blued eyed detective that she got the privilege (most the time when he wasn't being a pain in the
backside) to call her partner, and he with her. It hit her then that after Jack, she promised herself that she would
never give herself fully to any other man, as the day he left her shattered her and left her so emotionally drained.
She even kept the oath she swore, becoming the best first date girl ever, whilst protecting her heart by creating
wall upon wall between her and others, in order to prevent her from ever experiencing the pain again, as all men
she loved found a way to leave her. However, somehow Deeks managed to slowly break down the protective
shields around her heart and firmly lodge himself there so that it would be impossible for her to ever rebuild her
shields. She knew in that instant that Deeks was the only person that she wanted to experience this with...hell it
even provided them with a chance to finally be open and stop hiding from how they felt about one another in from
of the people they knew and loved the most, but she knew that if he didn't want her now due to her situation and
walked out on her, there would be no coming back for her.
She forced herself up from the cold tiled floor of her bathroom, where she slowly slid to after finding out the
extremely daunting truth, and went back to her bedroom, determined that she, Kensi Marie Blye, was not going to
let herself become the emotional wreck she had become in the bathroom, thinking about the future and what was
in store. No, she was going to be just fine and she knew it, as there were many a reason she was called 'Bad-ass
Blye', she just had to stop being so scared and face up to and deal with everyone else's reaction to the position
that she was now in! As she climbed carefully into bed, she became conscious of the fact that Sam and Nell were
definitely going to win their bets they placed years ago on Kensi and Deeks becoming a couple, as their less than
professional relationship, could no longer be hidden. The others could only guess the point when they slowly turned
from partners, in their unpredictable partnership, into a relationship, which was formed due to the many late night
Chinese takeaways with beer whilst watching America's Next Top Model, shared exclusively between the two. Sometimes it just sucked when everyone else was right.