I Hope You Dance, a ncis fanfic

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance, I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'

Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'

Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter

When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance, I hope you dance

(Time is a wheel in constant motion, always rolling us along

Tell me who wants to look back on their years

And wonder, where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance, I hope you dance

I hope you dance, I hope you dance

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along

Tell me who wants to look back on their years

And wonder where those years have gone)

There are days when the pain is so raw and so open that he feels like taking his badge and his gun, placing them on Gibbs's desk, picking up his bag, and walking out the doors of NCIS forever. The only thing that stops him is that she would be disappointed in him.

He has always been what he is now. He has always been a womanizer. Ever since he discovered women, that is what he has been. He knows all the tricks of the trade, how to get exactly what he wants. He knows how to get a woman to date him or sleep with him. He knows how to get a woman to cook him dinner or do his laundry. Sure, there's the occasional woman who doesn't fall for his charm, but those women are few and far between. The truth is that if they're not swooning after the first ten minutes, they're not going to swoon at all. Those women aren't worth the DiNozzo charm.

But his theory, or whatever you want to call it, was shot to hell the day he met Kate. She was strong and she didn't take his crap. Sure, he had met career women before. But they were usually scary chicks that had no hope of ever securing a man, and if they did he would be a serious weakling.

Kate wasn't like that. She was beautiful and smart, and all of the things he had never realized that he wanted in a woman. That being said, she, of course, did not fall for the DiNozzo charm and winning smile. Well, the smile melted her a bit, but the charm was a no go.

So in true romantic fashion, he proceeded to pursue her. Like a fourth grader. If there had been an inkwell in sight, he would have dipped her hair in it.

It was while he was recovering from his tussle with the plague that he took time to evaluate his progress. It was a short process. In the two years he had known her, he had made little or no progress.

His brief dance with death made him sure of one thing: Life was too short to waste. He was going to tell her. Maybe she'd laugh in his face, but at least he'd know.

She hadn't. She had kissed him and told him that she expected a real date when he was better.

Four days, six hours, and thirty-eight minutes later she was lying on the roof of a warehouse with a bullet in her head.

He was devastated and the worst part was that he had to bear the weight of their secret alone. As he walked past her casket, he didn't think his legs would support him.

On the days that he feels like leaving this life behind, the life that killed her, he visits her grave. He feels closer to her. He talks to her and he likes to think that she answers him, even if he can't hear it.

It's those visits that give him the strength to keep going. She wouldn't want him to live his life a bitter, twisted wreck. She wouldn't want him to leave NCIS. She would want him to have all the things he could have had with her. She would want him to find a nice girl and settle down.

But for now, she'll have to be content as he finds his rhythm, as he steps back into the dance.