I Do Love You
He doesn't notice her because if he did…he'd be no better than the creature inside him…NaruHina.
If I told you, you'd probably die of happiness. I know you would, Hinata. I always covered it with an affection for Sakura, but it is you I love. But I can't let myself love you.
I have a monster inside me.
That monster, when I think about you, comes alive and thoughts pour into my head that I never even would have thought of doing to anyone else. At first, they seem enticing and I feel my chest hurt because I want those desires to come to life, but then they get more and more…
Frightening…
I end up hurting you simply to feed my pleasure and that scares me.
I scare myself after those thoughts of breaking you come into my head.
I want you, but for your safety, I do what I can to keep my distance. I know that if I told you how I felt for you, and if—only if—you return my feelings, that monster would come out. Maybe quickly, maybe slowly.
I love you.
But I don't want to hurt you.
Naruto smiled at Hinata. For the better part of ten years, for as long as he's known her, he's loved her, but he kept that thought to himself. It was obvious she liked him back, which made him happy.
Her smile vanished and her eyes lit up with fear as his hand grabbed her wrist and he flung her against the wall. He pinned her against the wall, eyes bright red and a feral smile playing across his lips…
Naruto shook his head, Go away, Kyuubi!
But you really think that will happen, don't you, Naruto? Hahahaha…
Go away! I'm not going to do anything to her.
Of course not. I will.
You will not do anything to her!
Just to protect her? From yourself? How? Are you going to break her heart?
Naruto was silent for a moment. If that's what it takes.
You must really love her if you'd sacrifice your own happiness for some bitch.
Kyuubi!
The Kyuubi vanished.
"N-Naruto-kun," Hinata whispered. He looked at her and smiled. He had long gotten over the habit of fighting the heat rising to his own cheeks, though she still blushed madly when he saw her.
It was very adorable to him.
Why not just take her.
I told you to leave me alone!
"H-how have you been these days?"
"Quite well," Naruto answered. "Want some ramen?"
"Oh, n-no thank you. I've already eaten." She bit her thumb lightly.
C-cute…
Kiss her.
No!
Embrace her.
Go. Away.
Caress her.
Stop!
Not working for you? Alright. Let me take over. I'll give her pleasure she'd never dream of.
"GO AWAY!" Naruto shouted, accidently slapping Hinata. His eyes widened. Hinata blinked, shocked. The restaurant was staring at them. Women were glaring, some men were too. Most of the men actually looked nervous. "Hi-Hinata," Naruto began. Damn it, Kyuubi! "I'm so, so sorry. It was an accident."
"I…I'll see you around, Naruto-kun," Hinata mumbled, keeping her face down. She left the restaurant, in a rush, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Looks like you got what you wanted, Naruto, my boy.
This is your fault!
Didn't you say you'd break her heart if you had to? To keep her safe?
I didn't want to physically hurt her!
Oh? How would you then? You're not smooth enough to break her heart with etiquette. Hell! I don't think you even know that word!
Naruto left his payment and ran out after her. Snow fell on the ground. He glanced for tracks but there was too many. He decided his best bet would be to just go to the Hyuuga family's house and apologize there.
Oh? You're going to apologize after backhanding her pretty hard and screaming "go away?"
I got carried away, alright!
Kyuubi laughed. I knew it. You can't let her go even if it means breaking her heart! I'd rather you be in love with her and her with you. Blissfully ignorant of me.
Naruto ignored Kyuubi and kept running. He made it to the Hyuuga residence and knocked on the door. Neiji answered and glared at him.
"Er…is Hinata home."
"She told me not to let you in. It was a pretty red mark you left."
Naruto winced. "It was an accident."
Feeble excuse, kid.
Shut up!
"I still can't let you in," Neiji said. "Accident or not, you still hurt her. And I still can't let you see her."
"Could you just tell her I stopped by and that I'm really sorry."
"I don't think it'll even put a dent in what you've done. I'll tell her, but personally, stay away from Hinata."
The door closed. Naruto headed back to his apartment.
You're not seriously going to stay away from her, are you?
Yes.
Eh?! Come again?
I'm going to stay away from Hinata.
Are you just going to let yourself be satisfied with the fantasy of having her beside you?
I can't enjoy those fantasies because of you. You distort them and twist them into something I don't want to do to her!
Of course you want to do them to her. You're me.
No. I have you inside me, but we're nothing alike. I love Hinata. I love her so much it hurts. Hear that? Hurts! Like no tomorrow.
Naruto entered his apartment and sat on the bed. "I'm sorry, Hinata," he muttered. "But it's for the best."
He took out a piece of paper and began to write.
Dear Hinata, if I told you, you'd probably die of happiness…
You have no idea what I've been going through all these years. Hinata, please, the last time we meet should be when I give this letter to you.
Don't write back.
Don't come after me.
Don't even look back at me when you walk away after reading this. Just walk away from me.
It'll be hard, I know, but I'm begging you, Hinata.
Dear, dear Hinata…
I love you, but I can't let myself have you. I know it must be hard to understand, but at least try to understand that hurting you is the only way I can separate myself from this ache.
If I keep pursuing you—I'll try not to, but I don't know—have Neiji kill me if it comes to that.
I love you. I love you so much it hurts. But because of this monster inside me, I have to end whatever emotion I have felt for you.
I didn't mean to slap you. I was having an inner argument and got carried away. I'm so damn sorry.
I love you.
Goodbye.
Naruto.
Hinata looked up after she finished reading the letter. Her lip quivered and her sight began to fade.
She broke down into heavy sobs and held the letter to her chest.
He loved her!
He loved her!
He loves me! Hinata stood and shakily set the letter down on her bedside table. She ran outside to see if the blonde shinobi was still in sight. He wasn't so she used Byukugan and found him heading back, shoulders slumped and head down.
It wasn't like him.
Hinata bit her lip, preparing herself for what she was about to do.
She raced over to where he was.
She grabbed his shoulder and slapped him smartly. "Are you feeling better now?" she snapped.
Naruto blinked then looked at her. "I told you not to—"
She slapped him again. "I'm stronger than I look, Uzumaki Naruto! The only reason I'm so damn incapable sometimes is because of you! If you think doing this is going to protect me from Kyuubi than you are sorely mistaken. Pull yourself together, damn it, Naruto, or I really will break your heart for real."
Naruto smiled. "Really?"
"Really."
"Can you keep that promise?"
"Don't test me," Hinata growled.
Are you going to kiss her now? Use tongue to spice things up.
Shut up, stupid fox.
But Naruto did pull her into his arms and kissed her deeply. But innocently.
No need to rush, despite what Kyuubi thought. It took this long for them to finally admit it, but there was still room to get to know each other better.
Come on! Stop pulling me on a short leash.
Stay…back…I will prevail.
You know a word like "prevail!?"
Naruto grinned, releasing Hinata. He laughed to himself. He will most definitely prevail.
I am so sorry everyone! It ended up a bit like "Twilight." Damn that horrendous book! I tried to fix that at the end, but I'm not sure how well that worked out. You are free to flame and bash me (I obviously need it!)
Sincerely
The Humble Authoress
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