Yaoi - Without Ed

Story by Riceballclubdotorg

Note: Yes, this IS a yaoi. Which means boyxboy. If you don't like that, then why are you here? It's in the title. You may want to go to

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist. If I did, it would be severely screwed up. Really.

Another Note: Please review! I won't chew your head off. If you find any misspellings or anything like that, feel free to tell me. I don't have word on this computer, thus, no spell check. Sorry.

Yet Another Note: Please no hate mail.
Me: ...Please?
Roy: eheheheee

Me: o.O

Chapter 1: Emotion

Envy staggered back, barely able to dodge the heavy blows. Damn! For having been a suit of armor for such a long time, this kid sure was a good fighter!
"That was a nasty trick you pulled back there. If you were really our brother, you wouldn't be trying to kill us! You wouldn't be hiding yourself in that body, if you can call it that. It looks more like a palm tree than a human, anyway!" Ouch. That stung.
"Yeah, well... I bet you're in love with your brother. I bet you wished you could've done nasty things with his automail!" seeing the look on Al's face, he stopped, and let the blows rain down upon his head and shoulders break for head and shoulders for men commercial
He snickered." You DO like him"
Al stopped, tears streaming down his face. "Not anymore.. you killed him"
Thats right kid, and he's not coming back. Not to best me. Not now, not ever.
He shifted into Ed's small form, taking delight in the thought of having Al die by the hand of his beloved brother.
And screamed.

He dropped to his knees. Every one of Ed's current feelings washed over him like a tidal wave. Fear, confusion, and loss echoed through his mind. He clutched his head. It was like nothing he had ever felt before, this chaos of memories and emotions. He uttered a small sound in the back of his throat. Envy couldn't believe the intensity of what the pipsqueak felt. He was seeing through Ed's memories. Suddenly, he felt only what could be described as a feeling of remorse, and loss of a master.

That pipsqueak! He missed the bastard Colonel! Missed! That Idiot! And it wasn't just as a master, there was something more. He could feel his cheeks warm at the thought. What did that Colonel have that he didn't have? Other than the fact that he didn't try to kill Ed every day. (as if.)

Envy shifted back to his palm-tree-like state and lay, exhausted, on the floor. He soon felt a spark of his own emotion, yet another thing that he had never felt before, and its name was Jealousy.

"Not fast enough!" Mustang shot a burst of flame at the new trainees lined up to replace Ed. He missed Ed's sarcastic humor, as well as his ability to dodge. That was the third trainee to go to the field doctor in half an hour.
Hawkeye was going to kill him.
He sighed. There was no getting around it, there would never be anyone quite like Ed, no one able to replace him. "All right, pack it up. Thats enough for today"
No one had ever seen the Colonel like this, except when reliving his dark past. He was dull and listless, and lacked his usual cruel spark, as well as his spontinaity.

Fuery was worried. For a week now he had been going steady with his newest girlfriend, a stunning blonde with gorgeous hazel eyes, an amazing personality, the greatest smile, and undying adoration, and.. Mustang hadn't even seemed to notice. It was past weird. It was downright insane. She should have been stolen a week ago, when he had first asked her out, but that had been the day Ed had died.

Mustang slowly walked back to his office, pulling off one of his gloves as he did so. It was the one Ed had torn in the fight, with the huge cannon. Roy laughed as he recollected how tiny Ed had looked standing on top of that giant Thing. The glove had since been repaired, but if he looked closely enough, he could see the neat and tiny row of stitches that signified his sister Hawkeye's handiwork. He opened a drawer of his desk and laid the glove down, next to everything else that reminded him of Edward Elric. Eyes brimming with tears, his chuckle died in his throat, and he slumped in a chair, staring at a picture of Ed laughing at something Alphonse had said. This was where Risa found him.
"Oi, I told you not to mess with the trainees- oh, Roy. You know you can't keep doing this to yourself. He's gone. Noone has come back from the other side of that doorway. Ever. But, if it makes you feel any better, if anyone could make it back it would be Fullmetal. Just don't worry about it. I'm sure he wouldn't want you crying over him." Roy snuffled into his sister's shoulder.
"He wouldn't want anything about me. He hates me"
"Of course he doesn't. I mean come on, how many people does he threaten with a cannon every day? Ok, I know that's not the best example, but really. He respects you. He looks up to you (ish?) I mean come on, what's not to like? A certain degree of crazy is all that's needed in a man." This earned her a playful elbow. "Come on. I'm not That crazy." she stuck out her tongue at him and then sighed. "We all miss him Roy, but missing him won't make him come back. Just work as hard as you can, and give everything your all, and you'll uphold his memory well"
"But, but... I want him back..." He touched the picture of Ed and sighed. He would have to wait another day.
"Oh, and I was meaning to tell you. With a little research we found out who did it." Mustang perked up, raising his head from the desk. "It was that homunculus. Envy, you know, the one with the palm tree hair?" (envy: oO RAWR)
"I see"
"Just thought you might want to know. Good luck finding a way to get him back." What? How had she known what he was thinking? It was probably that awful 'women's intuition.' He sighed. Oh well. He might as well get started. Time wasn't going to wait for him.

Chapter 2: Realization

Al stared down at the homunculus, ready to step on his throat and end his life forever, when he suddenly stopped. Was he... blushing? He had thought he had seen it on Ed's face when he first shifted, but had convinced himself he had been imagining it. What could possibly... could he read Ed's thoughts? Was he thinking about the colonel?
Al shifted uncomfortably at the thought of that man, the one that Ed had told him he loved, time and time again. Al had always been the good brother, listened and nodded, occasionally encouraging his brother, but inside it had been breaking him. He had wanted to shout, 'Look at me! I love you more than that bastard Colonel ever could!' but he couldn't. That would risk their whole relationship. He would rather have Ed as a brother than as an enemy any day, even if it meant his own emotions were left gathering dust in the dark. Once in a while he had told his brother that maybe he should look for someone younger, but Ed had just brushed him off. There had been no hope for Al.

And now he was gone forever. Al had the chance to kill his brother's killer, yet he was just standing there. It was the perfect opportunity, yet he couldn't bring himself to do it. He wasn't like the homunculus. He couldn't kill with no thought about the life he was taking. No matter what the person had done, he couldn't take away any chance they had of redemption. He knew what it was like to be gone, and what it was like to be redeemed. He had no will in his heart to wish that upon anyone.

He walked away.

Envy came out of his trance to see the boy with his back turned, retreating from Envy's form. He had the perfect chance to kill me, why didn't he? Was he thinking about his precious Ed? he felt his cheeks warm at the thought. Idiot! What did that have anything to do with why he spared me? And why do I react like this to anything anyone says about him? Slowly he shifted back into Ed's form, letting the emotions wave over him once again. Any time he could spend close to Ed after his revelation would be good enough. He curled into a small ball, and went to sleep.

When he awoke, he was surprised to see blonde hair hanging in his face. He had fallen asleep as Ed! He wiped the sleep out of his eyes, and noticed something else he hadn't seen before: Ed had two real arms. Real flesh and blood. He jumped back, knocking his back against the bed. Where was he? And why did Ed have two arms?

Why are you in my head? came a voice. Envy's eyes widened. Where was he? And, was that Ed talking to him?

Why are you in my head? came the voice again.

I- I... where are you?

I'm in the world of the humans because you, bastard, killed me and my brother sent me here! What do you think?

I-... he couldn't take it anymore. He shifted back to his own form, and found himself back in the ballroom where he had been living for the past week. He sighed in relief, but there was still a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. He tried to push it away, but it pushed back.

"I asked you what you were doing in my head!" Envy heard himself say, and clapped his hands over his mouth in horror.
slowly he pulled them away.
"What're you doing in MY head?" he whispered, but he got no response. He was relieved in a way, but at the same time he felt something was missing. "Euuurgh, Dammit!" he shouted, kicking the wall, and leaving a good sized crack. He was mad. That bastard colonel was going to pay, whether it was the last thing envy did or not. How come Ed should fall in love with that guy? Wasn't he supposed to like girls? In homonculi it wasn't unusual to have occasional sparks of lust for the same sex, but in alchemists? no way. It just wasn't done. What was he supposed to do? He was envy, he wasn't supposed to fall for anyone. Not EVER. Yeah, he had kindof liked that Wrath kid, but it didn't stop him from smashing his face in when he had to. Since when did his feelings stop him from killing someone? He answered himself. Since Ed. thats when.
He walked out of the ballroom, deep in thought, and didn't even notice when rough hands grabbed him, and dragged him away.

Roy stayed up all night researching the doorway. Heavy tomes littered his desk, and dark circles filled in under his eyes. He could barely lift his hand to turn the page, yet he did. He was set on finding Ed a way to get out.

A soft knock on his door made him look up. There stood Hawkeye, standing with two mugs of hot cocoa.

"I thought I'd find you here. Its past six AM! I know you won't stop, so I'm here to give you some help." She smiled at his grateful look.
"But first, you have to drink your hot chocolate. It will give you a second to relax, and give you some energy." She felt a little bad at doing this to him, but seeing the dark circles, she knew that, if left to his own devices, he would be up for another twelve hours before collapsing. He nodded in agreement, and together they sipped their cocoa. He fell asleep.
"Wow." she muttered on her breath. "I asked for extra strength, that sure works fast"
Working quietly so as not to wake him up (although it didn't look like he would be up anytime soon) she opened one of the tomes, and picked up where he had left off. This would be a long night.

At about 9:55, there was a loud rap on the door. She finished writing her quick note on a section of the text, and went to open it.
There stood Armstrong and Feury, a strange pair, and from their arms hung a delapidated homonculus.

"Oh.. Lieutenant Hawkeye... we were here to take our prisoner to Colonel Mustang, ma'am"
"As you can see," she stepped aside to give them a view of Mustang, "He's sleeping right now. You may report to me." They cringed as she glared at them.

"Yes, um, well. This is the homunculus you ordered captured.. We found him just outside the ballroom." Taking a closer look at the homunculus, she noted the bruises all over his body.
"Look at him, he's a mess! Passed out cold, bruises all over, pale and weak, Did you do this"
Feury jumped back.
"N-no ma'am. He was like this when we found him, just wandering past, staring off into the distance. Now that you mention it, didn't even seem to notice we had captured him"
"and he didn't notice my muscles, either..." Risa sighed. It sounded like the loss of Ed was plaguing more than just her brother.
"Put him in here, I'll see if I can get him to wake up"
They looked at her uncertainly. "Are you sure that's safe"
"Put him in here, and I'll see if I can wake him up." she said, glaring at them. They quickly concurred, and set him in a chair, where he slumped and fell to the ground.
"Ma'am!" said feury, not looking back as he ran away.
she sighed. Someone was going to have to knock some sense into that Boy someday soon. But now, it was time to look at this Envy person. He looked pretty bad off, and probably hadn't eaten in a few days. In fact, he looked a lot like Roy. She glanced over to her brother, slumped against his desk, snoring peacefully. It was the happiest he had looked in a week.

Envy muttered something in his sleep. Risa Hawkeye looked over at him and jumped up in surprise. There lay ed, a small blush rising over his cheeks. Why would Envy's subconcious choose to turn into Ed? Slowly, he woke up, and brushed aside piece of blonde hair that had come out of his ponytail. Both his hands were flesh and blood.
This was what she had found in the tomes about the doorway. She had discovered that he was probably alive in some far off world. It looked like he had become a human.
If that was the case, there was almost no way to get him back.

"What am I doing here?" came the sound of Ed's voice. Roy stirred, and Risa looked quickly over at him, but he simply nestled his head further into his arms. She glanced back at Ed to see him looking wistfully at her brother. Somehow, this wasn't the homunculus. This was actually Edward Elric.

"Ed? How are you here?" she asked him, puzzled.
His eyes snapped back to her.

"Envy tried to turn in to me to kill my brother. From what I can see of his thoughts, somehow he actually sortof became me. I think it is because I'm no longer in that world, so he took over what would be me there. When I first went through the doorway, I saw that there were two mes, and this world killed the old one, thus letting me take his place. So, Envy took over me the Alchemist. The second time he changed into me, although I'm not sure why, I took the chance to root myself in his mind, so whenever he is asleep or even maybe if he is awake, I can temporarily take over his body. Just as he can for me. He's starting to fight it though, so I had better be going. Say hello to Roy for me.." he slowly changed back into Envy, who rubbed his eyes. 'Roy'? Risa thought. That kid had never called her brother Roy before. Could this mean..No. She couldn't think about this anyway. She had a homunculus to deal with.

Chapter 3: Pain WARNING: very very very small Lemon.. very small ((sorry..))

Al slowly wandered around inside the city. He wasn't used to being flesh and bone again, and wasn't used to the pain of stubbing a toe, even the pain of walking. He picked up a sharp rock, and hissed through his teeth. It hurt, but at the same time, it felt good to be able to feel again. His heart broke every time he thought of not being able to feel himself saving his brother, not being able to feel the pain he should have felt. Sure, he had felt it, but at the same time, he really hadn't. It wasn't as real as the pain of the cut on his hand, wasn't as real as the feel of the blood trickling down his fingers. He squeezed the rock harder, and winced. He didn't care what it would do to him. He wanted as much pain as possible. He wanted the aching in his heart to be replaced by the aching of his body, as it hadn't been able to for all those years. He wanted to forget his misery, and only be able to feel the pain. Only the pain.

He stumbled upon a man in the street, advertising a place where 'all your dreams could be made real'
He allowed the man to direct him into the front lobby. The receptionist was a woman with long black hair, who looked remarkably like Lust. Her clothes were red, and barely covered her chest, her breasts straining against the fabric. She was wearing a leather thong, and black fishnets, her tall boots making her just Al's height. He had grown, even in the suit of armor, and was now about 5'9". She was pretty, but held no interest to him.

somehow realizing this, the woman asked him to follow her to the section he was looking for. She stalked down the red carpeted hallway to her right, the dim lights casting shadows on the cream colored walls. Velvet curtains draped the walls, although if there were windows or not he did not know. Finally, after what seemed like a century, she opened a door on her left.
It was what seemed almost to be a gay bar, but not quite. It was more of a lounge, with large plush chairs, and many rooms with closed doors, many opened.

"How did you"
"Women's intuition, darling. That and the fact that you didn't look twice at my breasts. Thats what can always tell me whether a man wants men or women. Good luck." With that, she spun out of the room, the veil over her hair fluttering.

He looked around the room. Half naked men lounged on velvet sofas, some making out with a potential customer. He felt vaguely out of place, as if he was wearing far too much to be here, but seeing some of the other customers, he could tell that some were more uncomfortable than him.

And so he stood, feeling more than a little bit akward, in the doorway. A boy, maybe two years older than himself, approached him, wearing cargo paints with leather straps criscrossing in the back. He looked a little like Ed, except for the two piercings in is right ear, and the ring on his eyebrow. He had golden brown hair held back in a ponytail, just like Ed's. The only other difference was the fact that he was two inches taller than Al.

"Here for a show? Can I interest you in anything?" Al just felt his cheeks heat as he struggled not to stare at the chest barely two inches from him.

"Ahhh, first time, eh? I can show you the ropes. Follow me." Al meekly obeyed, staring gratefully at the back of the boy's lean form, the boy's golden hair flowing freely across his back as he walked.
A few wandering eyes followed them, but most continued with whatever they were doing. Al was mesmerized by the rhythmic swaying of the golden hair. He reached out to touch it, and felt a hand on his.
"You're lucky, kid. Noe's not generally the type to take on newcomers, especially not those as inexperienced as you. I wonder what he sees in you"
"I see what will someday be a very nice lover. Lay off it Cole, you're just jealous because it's him and not you"
The man that approached Al looked hurt, and ran his hand through his short black hair. He too had a few piercings, but his dark exterior starkly contrasted soft blue eyes filled with sorrow. "Just call me if you need backup." good threesome material, ne?he said, one last attempt, then walked away. "Eh. Here we are." They stopped at a doorway farthest from the common area. His host looked at him with with bright green eyes.
"What's your name"
"My name is Al. And yours is Noe, he said. He said you didn't generally take on newcomers.. why me"
Noe pondered this for a moment.
"Well, honestly you looked so lost, and it was so cute! Such a turn on! That and, there was a spark of need in your eyes." He flicked back a strand of hair. Al's eyes trailed the movement.
"See? there it was again. I meant what I said back there. You have great potential to be a great lover, and there is something about you that tells me you will be very special to me." He took out a key and opened the door, closing and relocking it behind them before returning it to his back pocket.
There was a large bed, and the dim flicker of candles cast a sensual feeling to the air. Al gasped slightly as Noe pushed him against the wall.
"I'll go gently on you, since it's your first time, all right"
Al obstinantly shook his head no. He wanted pain.
"Don't go easy on you?" He shook his head again.
"Ok." he complied, leaning in to bite Al's ear. A drop of blood ran down his neck, and he moaned in pain. Yes, that was what he wanted, the pain. He thrust his hips into Noes, moaning more as Noe placed a trail of bites down his neck.

Thats all for now, folks... Sorry I didn't go farther with that last bit, but I'm not really in the mood.. Review and I'll give you cupcakes!!

Also, I will probably update in a week or so, but i have a very busy schedule, so please bear with me..