"Sandy . . . " A very irate looking Sephiroth says to his partner, mournfully.
"Yes Sephi? What might you be wantin'?" Colonel Sanders asks in his thick Southern drawl.
The two were in the kitchen of their midwestern home. Colonel Sanders was baking something that smelled delicious, while wearing a pink apron. Sephiroth was seated at the dining table, reading a book.
"We need to talk, Sandy . . . " Sephiroth says, and rubs the back of his neck.
His eyes were fixed on his book. But he wasn't reading. He looked at his book so he wouldn't have to see Mr. Sander's face as he spoke. He couldn't bear to see his jolly bearded face sad.
Colonel Snaders took off his glasses and gulped. He was afraid this day was coming.
"Wh-wh-what is you're wantin' to talk about?" He stutters, his body chilled in fear.
"It's just that . . ." Sephiroth begins, but pauses, using every ounce of strength to resist looking at Mr. Sanders. "It's just that . . . You've never shared your secret recipe with me!"
Sephiroth stands up, throws his book to the floor, and accidentally knocks his chair over. His palms push against the table, his back is hunched, his head down. His beautifully flowing white hair covered his tear-covered face.
"W-w-w-well, I declare that, that-" Sanders stutters again.
"I thought you loved me!" Sephiroth screams as a tear hits the hard wood of the table below.
"Well, well, I-I-I, of course I love you, Sephi. You're my everything." Sanders tries to calm Sephiroth down. But his words are hollow. As hollow as the bones of the chickens he's murdered.
Sephiroth grabs the table now stained with his tears. In a ridiculous burst of strength, he throws it to the side, destroying a section of the kitchen wall. He then grab his ridiculously long, very phallic sword, and points it's edge at Sander's throat.
"You, you-you-you know what? Cloud's sword was way bigger than yours ever w-w-w-will be!" Sanders retorts. This causes Sephiroth to go into a berserk frenzy, during which he destroys the kitchen. After the kitchen is left in shambles, and Sanders is buried in wreckage, Sephiroth regains his composure.
"W-What have I done?" Sephiroth asks the air. There is no answer. He goes to the oven, and opens it. Inside are the burnt remains of Sander's last effort in life. A measely chicken breast. Beside it a chicken heart lays burnt to a crisp, the name "Sephi" below it written in blood.
"Smells good, doesn't it?" A hearty voice says from behind Sephiroth. Something pushes Sephiroth into the open oven, where he becomes trapped. "YOU WANT MY FUCKING RECIPE! HERE IT IS, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Sanders says as he tosses several spices into the over, then shuts it tight. Screams were heard from the oven. Eventually the screams became muffled cries. And after about twenty minutes, they faded into soft mournful sobs. Then finally, silence.
"Nobody can know the secret recipe. Not even you, my love." Sanders says as he softly sheds a tear.