My oneshot for the fourth day of Korrlok week. The oneshot is inspired by the song 'Frozen' from Within Temptation, especially by the chorus. It's a song I really love, and in my opinion it suits Tarrlok perfectly. Hope you enjoy it!
Word count: 1243
Link to the song: watch?v=8G7mfgCuoHA
Day 4: Frozen
Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?
Can't tell the reasons I did it for you
When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you
You say that I'm frozen but what can I do?
"Where are we going?" I asked, not really aware of how suspicious I probably sounded.
The man before him smiled. "What does it matter?" he asked. We're going away, away from this place. We'll find something."
I couldn't believe. It was my brother standing right in front of me, the brother I missed for so long… but now he were here, I didn't really know what to say or what to do. I felt like I was frozen, and it wasn't even cold outside.
Maybe it was the fact that I had been here for so long. I hadn't the slightest clue of how long I had been here, but it was more than a few days for sure. When I was here, I saw my mistakes. And my brother's. Was that why I felt this way?
I glanced at my brother, Noatak. I never thought I would see him again – I dreamed of it, of course. But I never thought I really would, and alive. I thought I would be happy to see him again, but after all he had done – all that we had done – I simply wasn't. I seemed like everything I once saw in my brother, had faded away. All the colors of our own world had vanished, and we had let it. All of what had happened was our own fault, and now we had to run. Now we had to run away, like cowards, run away from everything that reminded us of the time we spent apart.
I didn't know where he was going to take me – us, I mean. He told me something about a boat, but actually I didn't care. I didn't want to run away. A few weeks ago, I would never had thought that. I was just caring about not getting caught, and especially about running away. Now I felt more for turning myself in than going with my brother. I had to make it up – make up for everything that I had done.
Deep inside my soul I knew that was the best thing I could do, but I couldn't. I couldn't reach that part in myself. Suddenly I realized it was because I was afraid. I was afraid of my own brother. I still saw him like the person who captured me, and not like an equal. Not like my brother.
My thoughts wandered to Korra. She would try to find Amon, wouldn't she? She would try to bring justice, while I was running away from it – knowing how much we deserved it. I looked at Noatak, who was just releasing a motorboat from its covering. The look in his eyes wasn't like the way I had seen Amon, but I knew that person was something in there, and it scared me more than anything. It scared me that my own brother had become something that might even be worse than my father.
I sighed. I needed to let it go. I knew that if I didn't cooperate, Noatak would insist on me coming with him, and I know he could force me. I didn't like that idea – not at all.
"Come on, Tarrlok," Noatak said, and he raised a hand to me. I didn't take it, and jumped into the back of the boat. "We could better go fast, I suspect they will be looking for us." With that words, he took the steering wheel and pressed some buttons. I didn't know how to sail, so I was glad I could just sit in the back. Still I didn't figure out or this was the right choice. Well, I knew it wasn't, but when I ran over the other possibilities in my head, none of them seemed right either. I felt frozen, but not able to do anything about it. I didn't have my bending anymore, and I knew how powerful Noatak should be. I wasn't able to defeat him. It surprised me how Korra had been. My brother didn't tell me what happened yet. I knew Korra had it in her – she was a fighter – but I really didn't know how. I mean, my brother is a bloodbender, and Korra couldn't even cope with my bending – and my brothers is much stronger. I didn't know what I felt exactly, but I think I felt proud, in some kind of ways. She defeated me, she kept her promise. If there was only one thing I could do for her…
I knew she would be angry that Amon had gotten away. I knew how she was when she was angry. I have seen it that night, and I have to admit how terrifying she was, in a beautiful way though. She probably was angry with me too, because of all the things I have done. I hesitated for a minute. She wanted to help me when I was imprisoned. Had she forgiven me in some way? No, I thought, getting that idea out of my head as quick as I could. I would understand it if she could never forgive me. It hurt that she would never get to know how sorry I felt about all I have done, and how much I wanted to make up. But she would be alright. She would always be.
But still… even though I knew this, it didn't feel right. It didn't feel right that she had wanted to help me and that I couldn't do anything back – never. There had to be something.
"I will be great, don't you think?" Noatak said, not looking at me, but staring at the sea before them.
"What?" I said, confused.
"Everything. Just going away and forgetting that happened…"
I didn't answer. I couldn't forget. I couldn't let all the memories fade into emptiness. I knew only time could really tell if I couldn't, but I didn't want to forget, in some ways. Forgetting what happened, meant forgetting about some great things too. Forgetting meant that everything had been in vain.
Then I tried to close my heart. Close it for any feeling. All I felt was cold. The cold of the frozen man who never really did something helpful. I didn't want to be that man anymore. But what could I do?
Then I saw it. That thing that the Equalists had used to electrocute. I would be perfect…
It was the only thing I could do. The only way I could pay for what both of us had done, and the only thing I could help Korra. I grabbed the gloved and stared at my brother for the last time.
I would do this for her, though I knew I could never tell her. I could never tell her what I did for her, and to repay to her for all the damage that I had done, and to thank her for what she had done for me.
I was frozen all the time, but I just hoped she would once be able to forgive me. I opened the tank, finally knowing the right thing to do, and trying not to feel sorry for my brother. This was all we deserved. "It will be just like the good old days."
I couldn't see his face when I used the glove, and I was rather glad about it. Everything was over now. Everything melted away. Because of her, lies had turned into truth. Now I had to sacrifice it all. For her. And only for her.