This idea occured to me, what would count to despair, destruction tortue or knowing what you hated was in fact you loved and what you loved you come to hate. A short story of loss, love and that not everyone changes as we want them to. Shyuzan was someone i hard from the manga and seen as a villian, so I thought i might include him as he apprently has a connection with Ayeka, not that I seen what he looks like though.

Everything Changes

Was yesterday all a dream? Last night?

I cannot remember.

I look over towards my bed and there is a black dress ready and pressed for me. This was my sign that all was true. My sister is…

I am overcome with grief. I cannot write.

Afternoon-

Before I set off for my journey, I must accompany Lord Shyuzan on what happened today at her funeral. Oh God, what bitterness trembles my fingers when I write that! Why couldn't it have been me? Why Sasami!
I was crying earlier this morning, shut up in my room. I wanted to see no one, I wanted to cry out and scream loud enough to bring my own demise. But a thought overwhelmed me that made me all the more overcome by sadness. What of our drawing master? Oh, heavens what will he say? I remember him now, clearer than ever before. When he was with us, I was too preoccupied with my own endeavours for him to notice the flirtations he shared with her. What light she had…what beauty in those locks of curls he would stare at so adoringly. I remember his gaze he took whilst I brushed my hands through her hair in the summer light. She was so beautiful…my pride and joy, as if she were my own child! How can I live without her?
As I had cried, I heard a knock on my door. I instantly cried 'Go away!', but the voice behind the door spoke to me.

'Oh my dear, Ayeka. Please, let me help you.' The voice said. I could tell from behind the door that it was Lord Shyuzan. My tears dried on my cheeks and I could feel my blood begin to stir. What could I do?
The Shyuzan entered in the room, allowed himself into my bedchamber. I was already partially dressed, covering my saintly white with the dire black gown. The dress was itchy and I felt cold from death's breath on my neck. I sat quietly on my chair in front of the window, hiding my face behind my handkerchief.

'Oh, Ayeka, come now.' He said, striding closer to me. His large hands extended towards me. I sat frozen, frightened over what he would do but too sorrowful to truly acknowledge. Shyuzan stood by me and went to his knees, his weight forcing him to stumble partially to the floor. I looked away, hiding my sobs. 'Ayeka…my dear.'
Shyuzan placed his hand onto mine, tenderly caressing it with his large fingers. He brought my free hand to his lips, kissing it fervently. I continued to weep and as I did, scattered memories of the night before flashed before my eyes. Shyuzan than rose clumsily from his place on the floor and gestured for me to stand as well. I shook my head. I did not want to move.
'Come now, Ms. Masaki, we must prepare.' He said. I let out a louder sob with his words. I did not want to go to the funeral, did not want to stare onto to coffin of my dead sister.

Whether from annoyance or fright, I hoisted myself from the chair and tried to avoid Shyuzan's hands. But his arms stopped me and clutched me to him. I was overwhelmed too much to think anything of it. I wept onto his waistcoat. I heard him whisper something like 'we must get you ready', but I shook my head and lain it on his chest. I did not think of Shyuzan as I had through my sleepless dream. I did not hate him as I do now, now that my mind is clearer.

I cannot bring my fingers to write what happened next! My loathing I feel for him makes me regret these memories terribly. Please remember, I had once thought him to be my friend.

Shyuzan fastened his arm around me and brought one of his large hands to my face. He stroked the hair from my eyes and tried to look into them. My tears smeared his hand and I tried to resist, but there was a strange comfort with having him so close. A steady arm was fastened around my waist. Shyuzan looked into my eyes, and I was too dumbstruck by his own, glittering grey eyes to resist his glance. I sensed his face getting closer. I was suddenly reminiscent of my sister, of her beautiful eyes gazing into mine. And I as looked, her memory grew stronger. I remembered her beautiful face when she had asked me to kiss her goodnight. Before I quite knew what had happened, I raised my hand to Shyuzan's neck and pulled my lips towards him. Goodnight, I heard Sasami say brightly. Goodnight, dear Ayeka!

With broken senses, the Shyuzan pressed his lips onto mine, holding me tightly within his embrace. I could not think, I could barely remember my being as I was further grieved by the bright memory of Sasami. But Shyuzan did not know, and soon his kisses became more frequent, holding me closer to him. He did not notice my tears hadn't ceased, nor notice the young maid standing at the door, her small hand over her mouth to hide her gasp.

That gasp broke me once again. I thrust myself from his arms, struggling as if he were a beast. I shouted wildly for him to release me. Hush, he cried. Hush, my dear you're unwell. Please!

I realized it than. The voices I heard in my dream pointed to him, wake up and help me, wake from my ignorance and see the distrust she had seen in him. The way he held my arms so tightly set my defiance's afire. I turned away and looked out the window into the grey skies. I heard their voices faintly; Shyuzan was instructing the maid to continue preparing me for the funeral. His voice was broken; he too interrupted from his calm. I was overcome with a wordless emotion, I felt a lost woman, injured and praying for her soul to recover.

Shyuzan followed me from my room; I was overcome with a new sensation. I did not cry in front of him. Instead I kept my eyes from him beneath my veil, kept my hands in fists as if at any moment, at the least provocation, I had been given the right to strike him. I read back in my diary, which saved me in my moments of forgetfulness.

The procession was sombre and grey. Once again, Tenchi returned to my memory, his sweet voice as he comforted that crying child during the Jurain celebration when they were all once together on Jurai. Her old family, now bitterly departed. What comfort and sensitivity he possessed. All so long ago.

When we entered the church, the organ choir began to play, as if they knew my entrance would signal their beginning. I looked into the pews, seeing the faces of my Jurain household look back at me with glistening eyes. But I could not cry, I promised I would be strong! They began to carry the coffin towards the alter. I was too overwhelmed by her memory, and of my anger to react indifferently. I wept under my veil, resting my head in my hands. My mother sat beside me. She felt no more part of my family as Shyuzan had.

It was than my eyes met with Tenchi. His eyes shone with a light I had never before noticed in a human being. I stared at him, searching into his eyes for a hint of the betrayal I had proven. He did not flinch, but I noticed that his lips seemed to curve up, as if he were about to smile. Shyuzan 

beside him, broke his glance, stole his attention before he was sure to show his victory. I needed no more proof but only needed everyone to know my conviction of my once former friend, that former love, Tenchi was now the name of my sister's murderer. I was sure of it, positive but how I can prove it/ Never, over the decades he had changed, now even the chousin had loved him, he had grown akin to evil i know but what could i do. Did we all blindly believe he would be as pure as he once was for forever?

Love has betrayed me.

I leave this diary, hidden beneath my bed in the security of a fastened box. I do not want to run the risk of losing it in the palace just yet.

I must make my exit, I shall return to these pages when I am packed and have found a way to go far beyond the stars and take the one man who I thought i would never love Shyuzan, and leave the universe to its boy turned monster. I have been so blind, we all have but no foolish as the goddesses themselves who believed to create a light that was greater themselves only to have it mould to a monster that will soon descend upon them. It has come too late for everyone to realise that everyone changes, but not always for the best.