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Pam's flight came into New York on time; her mare off loaded from the freight plane in good condition and no problems. She made sure that her mare, Tena, was safely off loaded along with her tack trunk and her own luggage then anxiously looked around for Alec. He said he'd be there waiting for her, but…

"Pam? Alec got caught up in some things so I volunteered instead—not who you were hoping for I know, but you'll see him soon enough."

"Henry!" She hugged the old man, clearly disappointed but glad she wasn't left here to cope on her own. She could see the two-horse trailer parked near the plane and the baggage handlers already putting her things in the back of the pickup it was hitched to.

Twenty minutes later, after Tena was walked a bit to stretch her legs, she was loaded into the van and they were pulling towards the airport exit.

The short trip to the track went by as Pam told Henry everything she could think of about the surprise wedding a month or so ago, how happy she was, how she couldn't wait to set up housekeeping with Alec. And, most importantly, how what she really hoped was that he'd be able to relax a little bit more than he'd been doing the last year or so. Henry, slightly overwhelmed by the non-stop stream of talk didn't say much though he was clearly enjoying the conversation. "So what's Alec doing?" And why wasn't he here? They hadn't seen one another in almost two weeks and she missed him so much…

"He's working a couple of horses for Seth Mueller and the schedule was tight." That's all Henry said but his voice was flat and it was clear he wasn't pleased about it.

"But why? I mean, is he doing Seth a favor or something?"

"You could say that." Henry tightened his hands on the wheel. "He's been picking up some extra rides the last couple of weeks; has them scheduled through the next few months on top of working and racing our own horses."

"…Because he's trying to make extra money?" Alec was always worried about the farm not having enough money to pay the bills or the payroll. He didn't talk about it all that much with her, but she knew it was almost always on his mind and now with the added expenses of getting the apartment ready for them to live in, he had to be feeling even more pressure than usual.

"Don't be angry with him, Pam. He knows he's stretching himself thin but he's doing it so you two will be able to get the apartment looking the way you want it and maybe put some money away." Even though it was pretty obvious that Henry would probably like to wring Alec's neck for over working himself.

"I don't care about that, I just wish he'd take some more time for himself and…"

"And relax? Alec doesn't relax Pam; you might as well get used to that. Sometimes I think he's like a spring so tightly coiled it's going to snap any minute." She started to say something but Henry kept on. "You help him, though—we've all seen it. Just by being around him you seem to make things easier for him, he acts more like he used to before the money became an issue and he was just riding because it was fun."

"Why do it if it isn't something you enjoy, though?"

"Well, that's the thing; he does enjoy it, it's just all the other stuff gets in the way and I think sometimes he loses sight of that."

The backside entrance to Aqueduct was in front of them, the guard waving them through as soon as he saw Henry at the wheel. In another couple of minutes they were pulling up to Barn number seven to off load Tena, let her stretch her legs again and then get ready for Alec and Pam to take her up to the farm and settle her in.

Jinx was at the driver's window before they could even get out of the truck. "He's okay, he was awake and talking and all, but they took him over to get checked out."

"What? Where is he?" Pam was in a near panic.

"The infirmary. Honest, it's not that bad, they didn't call an ambulance or 911—he's really okay. They just wanted to be safe, y'know?"

"Over behind barn B, Pam…" But she was already out of the cab and going at a dead run, leaving the two men to deal with off loading the old mare. She was at the infirmary, really just a first aid station within a minute, close to tears and relieved to see Alec sitting quietly on a folding chair, bandages around his arm and a cold pack held against his chin and cheek.

"Alec!" She was kneeling beside him, searching his face and seeing the combination of joy and light shock from whatever had happened to him. She looked over to the jeans wearing nurse. "Is he all right? How badly is he hurt?"

"He was lucky, young lady; just some cuts and scratches this time but you take care of him for a few days—he's going to be feeling this into next week. Okay, Alec get out of here and let me do some real work for a change." He stood up, a bit shakily but moving under his own power, the nurse watching to see if she was going to reverse her opinion. "And no more riding today, you hear me? Not if you're going to be taking swan dives off some horse's back again."

He handed her the ice pack and smiled his thanks. "I'll see you next time, Betty."

"Always something to look forward to with you, isn't there?"

They walked outside, standing stopping on the dirt pathway. "Alec?" Pam wanted to throw her arms around him but was afraid of hurting him; he was pale and seemed a little shaky.

She was hesitating when he pulled her into a close hug, the still seeping cuts on his arm and hand ignored. He held her closely, whispering into her hair, "I'm fine, it's nothing, just bad timing. I'm not hurt." He pulled back slightly to get a good look at her, offering her a smile then leaned back in for a welcoming kiss despite their having an audience as people walked back and forth around them. Breaking off, he gave her his good hand and pulled her out of the way of the foot traffic by some bushes.

"I'm sorry, Pam. I wanted to meet you at the airport but at the last minute Seth insisted that I help break one of his horses in a training sprint and it was the only time to do it when everyone was available. I wanted to be there when you got in." He kissed her again. He meant what he said and he knew she was disappointed Henry had been there instead.

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand—this was exactly the kind of thing she'd been so afraid of; Alec getting hurt because he was working too hard and being pulled in too many directions. "What happened?" She held his injured arm gently, seeing the dried blood on his wedding ring. It was seeing a ring around the moon and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up.

He gave a dismissive shrug. "Nothing, I just got dumped and I'm fine, just a few scratches." She gave him a look. "I was crowded going into the far turn and got squeezed but I' fine." He stepped back a couple of feet and did a turn for her. Other than some dirt and the not so terrible cuts and scratches he really did seem fine. "See?" His jaw and right cheek were already bruising but thank God he'd been wearing a helmet. "Did Tena get here all right?"

Pam managed a smile; relieved he'd gotten off so lightly this time. "Come on, I'll show you. I think Henry was going to let her stretch hr gets before we load her to o to the farm."

They arrived back at their barn in time to see Seth disappearing around the corner and back to his own horses. Henry and Jinx had already gotten the mare settled into a stall with thick bedding and some dinner with Black making noises on the other side of the partition. He knew she was there and was clearly interested. Normally they wouldn't consider breeding him to a pasture bred mare like Pam's old pet but maybe just this once, as a present to her. Alec knew how much she'd like it and it wasn't that big a deal really. Maybe he'd surprise her with the idea when they got back to the farm later.

Henry gave him a hard look and Alec knew he'd been talking to Seth about more than just the weather. "You all right?" It was more an accusation than concern about Alec's health.

"I'm fine."

Henry took in the darkening bruises and the bloody bandage on his arm. "Yeah, you look fine."

Alec wasn't in the mood for this. Pam was just back after he'd missed her more than he'd though possible, then he'd been forced to skip picking her up just to be thrown off a skittish two year old who shouldn't have been on the track in the first place. Okay, as a professional he probably should have been able to stay on the animal's back, but everyone got tossed once in a while. It happened. He wasn't seriously hurt and right now all he wanted to do was reconnect with his new wife then get in the van, go back home to the farm with her and start setting up their own home. He and Henry could argue this out another time.

"I know you don't want to talk about this right now but Seth told me that you were too close to the rail and that's why you got squeezed. It was a lucky thing his colt didn't go down and it was a near miss for you. I told you last summer and I'll tell you again if I have to—you keep you mind on your job; not on Pam, not on money, not on whatever else may have been distracting you enough to let you get yourself into a poor position and…"

The old man was winding up to a real tear and Alec just flat out wasn't having it this minute. He wasn't a kid, he wasn't a rookie and he wasn't in the mood. "That's enough. Drop it, Henry."

That made Henry see red. "You don't talk to me like that, Alec. No one talks to me like that and you know…"

"Just stop." Alec knew the exchange was getting too heated too fast and he wasn't up to a shouting match. He was more shaken by the fall than he'd admit and all he really wanted was to get Pam's horse in the van and get up to the farm. They could settle this another time—it wasn't like this was a new conversation or anything; they'd been going around this block for over a year now and Alec was getting flat out tired of it. There was only so many ways ether of them could say the same things.

Henry did back off, to Alec's surprise, obviously still furious, but seemingly willing to let it go for this moment. 'All right, fine. Seth said he wouldn't need you again until Saturday. You two go to the farm and do whatever you want to up there, but when you come back, I expect to see you ready to work."

Pam saw Alec clench his jaw in anger, and she put her hand on his arm to distract him or hold him back or whatever was necessary. He glanced at her and gave her a small nod. "Let's get the mare loaded." Thirty minutes later they were on the road out of New York, a strained silence between them as Alec drove.

Henry had taken her aside while Alec was in talking to Black, asking her, "Look out for him, will you? He's still—well you can see for yourself." She nodded, yes, she could see.

"I'm really sorry, Pam. This isn't how I wanted today to go…"

"I know." She smiled at him, watching as he drove the pickup, towing the double van. He was tired and she could see the circles under his eyes, the bruise getting darker and the swelling apparent. His arm was cut and scratched from his wrist up to above his elbow, though not deeply. It had to hurt, though, and she'd offered to drive, though he insisted he was all right and could make the drive in his sleep—which he'd almost done a few times. The actual trip, leaving the city behind and heading into the country seemed to relax him a bit and she was glad about that. "You're still worried about money, aren't you?"

He nodded. "It amazes me how much the farm costs; the vet bill alone this month was almost seven thousand dollars after that foal had the cord twisted around his neck, then Wintertime's right fore needed surgery—you know horses, they're always hurting themselves one way or another." He paused, not sure if he should go on or not. He wasn't used to talking about his problems, usually preferring to keep them to himself and not bother other people.

Pam prodded him. "What else?"

He turned his head and looked at her; it felt good to talk to Pam. "Henry doesn't know, but I'm thinking about retiring Black from racing. He's almost eleven now, ancient for a race horse and I'm afraid that if I keep pushing him hard to win races something could happen to him and I couldn't stand that, but if I pull him, put him out to stud permanently, we'll lose his prize money."

"Yes, but you'd gain more in stud fees, wouldn't you?"

He nodded. "Yes and no. He's such a draw that we almost always get offered a bonus for his races—he ups TV numbers and advertising, OTB has a huge surge, gate attendance goes way up and everyone makes money. But I'm worried about him breaking down and that whole thing with Barbaro just brought it home to me. I'm afraid that he'll be bored. He needs to go. And…" He trailed off, hesitating.

"And…?"

"And I'm afraid that part of the reason I'm putting off a decision is because I'm not sure I'll be able to remain a top rider without him."

Pam suspected this. Alec's career was so tied to the Black that he had trouble seeing it without him. "But the fact that you're in demand with the other trainers says that they see you as an independent rider and one they want. You know you'd still be riding, whether it's for Hopeful Farm or anyone else."

He shrugged and shook his head. "I know I'd ride, I'm not sure I'd win"

"You won the Flamingo on a strange horse just a few weeks ago." There was more bothering him than this, Pam knew it. He was just talking around it.

"I did, didn't I?" He seemed to shift gears and laughed. "So maybe I'm just talking through my hat. You didn't tell me how the week went in Florida—was everything all right?"

She laughed with him, knowing he was just changing the subject and letting him do it. "I spoke to you a hundred times a day and I told you about every time I drank a soda or scratched my nose." She looked through the windshield at the country scene in front of them. "My parents won't admit it, but they think I'm too young to get married—no they like you a lot, they just think we should have waited a couple of years—because of me, not you"

"Do you agree with them? Is that what you think?" God, this was the real thing he was afraid of. If Pam left, if he lost her now…

She hesitated so long he could feel his heart start pounding and almost stopped the car before she finally went on. "I love you and I want to be with you. I'm as sure of this as I've ever been about anything in my life. I think they're afraid that we'll start having kids right away and they were telling me we should take some time for ourselves and all of that."

He smiled at that; of course he wanted kids and so did Pam. "They worried we'll get ideas because it's a breeding farm?"

Pam laughed at that—she'd been thinking the same thing. "…Maybe." They drove another mile. "Are you and Henry going to be all right?"

"Eventually. He doesn't like change but he'll come around."

Alec had meant what he'd said about retiring Black, though. He was becoming more and convinced that the longer he raced the shorter the odds became that one of these days he'd end up as a breakdown and Alec knew that if it ever happened a large part of him would die with the animal and would be lot forever. It was becoming almost an obsession with him, one he hadn't shared with anyone, not even Pam but it was in his thoughts and he'd had more than one nightmare about it—especially this last week or so when Pam wasn't beside him.

They came over a rise and saw the farm spread out before them, the long driveway leading to the main house and the barns, the horses in the fields and one of the hands with a pickup full of hay bales. Alec always felt a sense of calm come over him when he arrived at the farm; hopefully Pam felt the same way. They both had things to do and decisions to make but they'd get to them and, with luck, they'd make the right decisions at the right time.

"We're home."

2/6/07

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