I know I let him go, but I'm happy. It's the last thing I'd imagined I'd be, but I am. Some may wonder how a mother can accept letting her child be apart from her. But this is something only a true mother can do.
I look at his face through the black and white that is the surveillance camera and I know that at least for me it is anything but black and white. Motherhood is just so many shades of grey, and I had just painted my meeting with my only son with yet another of these shades.
I do yearn to hold him, to feel him, to keep him deeply hidden behind my apron. Of course I'd rather have him with me, but after having believed that I had lost him and wasn't able to talk to him before that, I am elated at this moment of his departure.
He is alive! Nothing else in the world matters. Only a mother understands. And with his departure, I can finally feel hope like never before. I, Dana Katherine Scully, am hopeful. I know that he knows of me and he knows how I feel about him, and I am like this feather, floating high above the world, with nothing to pull me back down, because a huge rock had been lifted off my chest.
We will reunite when the time is right. Of that I am certain. Until then, I have our moment together to cherish. A new moment added to what little I had of him up until now. He may have worn the face of an old man, but a mother knows, and the moment I saw him, I felt the odd pull. A pull that is beyond appearances, the kind that only blood can hold.
Safe travels my William. Until we meet again.