Beta: My favorite tea, cream tea anyone
Title: For Old Times' Sake
Pairing: SasuSaku
Rating: T
Genre: Angst, romance
Notes: Inspired and influenced by the song "C'mon, c'mon" with Sheryl Crow. Actually my first SasuSaku fic, but I haven't posted it till now. Oh, and I'm still new to the Naruto fandom, so be gentle. Thanks! :)
o-oOo-o
For Old Times' Sake
o-oOo-o
Well, he was back.
Again.
She means this not in the sense of his betrayal, but that of his actual presence in her physical life. When he came home, after everything they all had to go through, he had changed once again and she still doesn't know if it is good, or bad.
Anyway, it doesn't change the outcome of his actions.
How did it led to this? Well, life is an irony.
He broke her heart not once, not twice, but continuously in a never ending circle. The moments of happiness, the days she wants to name the best of her life yet finds herself loathing, were just a cruel twist in a plot that seemed to spin out of control each time he decided to play his games.
But they were not what befuddled her the most; it was how he always seemed to be the one to win; to come out of it all unruffled and unscratched looking his usual strikingly handsome self. Which is why she is not surprised to find him in her bed, lazily propped up against her wall for support, after a rather heated argument this morning that had ended whatever they'd had for the third time. She wonders, as his eyes dart across her face counting her tears, if it'll ever end. And, does she even want it to?
"Hi," she says; her voice thick from screaming and crying. She doesn't bother wiping the tears still fresh on her cheeks, for she knows it will be futile. He will only replace them with new, stinging drops of salt the moment he leaves.
Again.
"Hn." He doesn't even bother, doesn't raise a finger. She looks him over, a bittersweet feeling taking hold of her painfully throbbing heart. The few years of loyal friends, of sweet, true love and safety had done him good. He had everything, anything he had ever said he wanted, with his brother gone, his friends alive and close as a family. The emotionless young man he had been replaced by someone he could've been from the beginning. Had she not known of his past, of his present, she would see such a bright future for such a man. But she had experienced his playful side, was still dealing with it. Still, even though, she had finally left him. Where is the end, she wonders, when does it stop?
"Come here," he says after a while. She realizes that she's been standing still, just staring. With her tears drying slowly on their own, she is snapped back to reality. She sees no difference, except for perhaps, the serious tone of his usually sarcastic or mocking voice. In awe, she locks her tired gaze with his. Why, she asks herself desperately, why don't I want him to leave? Why, don't I want it to stop?
"No," she replies, pulse quickening as she control her emotions. She's angry, sad, pitiful but most of all…she is tried. She might have been fighting, fighting so bravely to break this evil circle, but she is done with it now. Lie down, and take it. It doesn't change anything. Her life is bitter; such betrayal and pain. Still, she finds it sweet. All the love she sees, all the smiles she provokes.
She hears him sigh, and wants to ask him what he's got to moan over. It's not like he hasn't been without her before, and there are, like he said so many times, much better women out there: prettier, stronger, more loyal and more lovable.
She's never enough; she knows it, because he doesn't seem to forget.
"Don't be stupid, Sakura," he begins, making her raise a brow. And here she was, thinking she was smart to let him go. He had asked her to before, hadn't he?
So many times, pushing her away. Far, far away...yet never far enough, because somehow, she always managed to stay by his side.
"Leave." It was a simple command, a simple request. One he himself had spoken many times. But it seemed like he hadn't learned to take his own advice.
Staying put, observing her from his spot on her bed, his lips turned down in a frown. She remembers how she used to kiss it, how she used to replace it with a smile. But, oh, what a silly dream; It had all been play-pretend – every kiss, every caress. For what other reason, would drive him to discard of her so easily?
"Damnit Sakura," he hisses when he realizes she isn't joking. No, how could she, when yet again she is bleeding to death? Her love is pouring out, through her skin, in deep, invisible floods of crimson.
He cannot save her.
A weapon is not made to heal.
"Leave," she repeats, waiting. She can see he is getting angry, she knows he will say something soon...something to complete yet another circle of heartbreaks, only to, without doubt, begin working on a new one.
"I said I didn't want you to leave! I told you, that I need you! What more do I have to do?!" he spits out, standing up beside the bed to make his way towards her. She barely flinches, despite the hurt. She doesn't understand, how much more pain he can inflict, compared to even his brother's dreaded eye-technique.
"Sasuke-kun," she begins, letting his name roll off her tongue bitterly. "I already left, and you already chose not to stop me. Why don't you ever follow through with what you say or do? It's not…that hard."
She knows that he can see her sad eyes, that he can hear her broken breaths and shaky voice. She doesn't want to face this; she doesn't want to finally end it. But she has to. She has to walk away.
"Sakura, you--"
"--yes Sasuke-kun? What? Do you want to break my heart again?"
she interrupts, her voice calm yet shaking with suppressed emotions.
"Before you go, why don't you? Just for old times' sake. It's so easy, Sasuke-kun. It won't take you more than a few seconds. I won't hold you back for too long; it's alright. For old times' sake. C'mon."
In the silence, she can already hear the cracks of the roughly shattered pieces of her heart. She meets his lost gaze with a terribly defeated, tried look of her own. Does he know how deep his words have cut during the years? Does he know now, how much his games have twisted and broken whatever she had once been? She finds herself wishing that he'll be blind for just a few more moments. She doesn't want his eyes to open, when the only thing she has to offer is this deformed creature he shaped.
"There you go," she whispers after having counted to 1 minute and 30 seconds, smiling sadly.
"Crack" it said.
You may leave now Sasuke-kun.
You just broke it, again."
She sobs, as his lips crash down on her own, and she knows he just won again.
There is no way, she realizes, while he embraces her gently and whispers familiar words of love against her skin, that she will ever leave. She wants him to stay, despite the tears.
For old times' sake, she lets him break her heart.
For the memory of his love, of his gentle moments, she lets him.
o-oOo-o
End Notes: Ah, thank you for reading! Please leave a review and tell me what you think :)
(see my dear tea, no self-bashing! XD)