DW6: Reactions

Originally planned as a oneshot. Inspired by randomness and for ranting purposes, mostly ranting.

As you will notice i really cant stand Shang's new voice.(its really not obvious is it? cough sarcasm cough) If the same person does her WO2 voice then god help us all!

Warnings: Character Bashing :P

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The Wu army were gathered in a poxy little box the shuists from KOEI gave them to discuss or rather rant about the latest Dynasty Warriors release.

"I look like a bloody pixie!" Shang Xiang whined in her new incredibly whiny voice.

"Everybody said Da Ji looked like a pixie in WO and now look what they've done to me!! I will not stand for this! Im a warrior woman not a goddamn flower child!" she continued ranting, spitting all over Ce

"Ew...Sis what the hell happened to your voice?" Ce asked

"Well-" she started to explain "What do you mean my voice? There's nothing wrong with that. Its this outfit its hideous...its-"

All of a sudden a purple butterfly flew through a hole in the box.

"Its...elegant...elegant like the sunshine...the rainbow...the flowers...the trees...the butterflies"

"Zhang He?!" Ce yelled "Wrong box butterfly boy, Get Out!"

Zhang He was suddenly booted from Wu's box

"KOEI cut me out" Da Qiao moaned "...Because there are too many 'women' in Wu. Those sexist pigs, They're jealous...yes thats it, jealous because chinese women are so much hotter than japanese women.

"There..There" Ce said patting his wife on the head..."I missed having to save you and your sister every level."

Da Qiao snarled at her husband and turned away.

"Im just glad i got an in-game cut scene of me burning Cao Cao's fleet, After all it was my idea but someone else got all the credit" Huang Gai grinned proudly and then glared at Zhou Yu.

Zhou Yu ran his delicate fingers slowly through his ponytail.

"I have no complaints. My alternative costume is as sexy as hell"

"Ooooh your so sexy Zhouie" Xiao said whilst slinking up to Zhou Yu

"I dont have a musou mode. Why is that?! I built our kingdom i'll have you know" Sun Quan ranted

"What do you mean you built it?" Ce cut in "You just got lucky that Xu Gong's retainers ambushed and killed me. I left you everything man and what thanks do i get?!"

"I have to disagree Quan." Sun Jian began "If your mother and i hadn't fondled in the bath 1800 odd years ago then you wouldn't exist. Yi would've taken the throne but he got killed by his own men so that would be no good, he was like our little Zhang Fei but..not! Then there was Kuang, whatever happened to him anyway? Lastly we have Lang...well actually no-one cared about him, he was a jackass. Little baby Shang would have taken the fort and we cant have a baby girl running the country can we?"

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Shang Xiang yelled pulling out her chakrams...er i mean bow

"Father, I really dont want to hear about your sex life!" Quan added before putting a hand on Shang's shoulder "Im sure he was only kidding Shang, calm down"

Shang spun round and face her brother "Oh what do you know. You just shipped me off to Liu Bei as soon as possible."

Quan shut up and sat down.

Lu Meng rised to his feet "Why, why, oh why does that cocky pirate call me old man? He's three years older than me for crying out loud."

"Hey, Old man sit down before you croak." the cocky pirate joked.

"My musou sucks, it has no range" Sun Jian randomly said.

"I run like a spastic", Lu Xun whined "If anybody ran like that they would get back strain and i want my hat back...i want it back"

"Gan Ning killed my father, bastard! Where is the rivalry? Its like im in love with the guy" Ling Tong moaned. Next i'll be like Dong Zhuo, walking around like a spastic balloon but instead of Lu Bu blah blah your supposed to be protecing me it'll be XINGBA!! XINGBA!! Liu Bei poked me!

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A/N: I love Shang really, she's my favourite girl..I just had to rant about her voice.

There was something about SJ's musou that makes it crap but i've forgotten what it was lol so i just randomly put range

The whole Gan Ning/Lu Meng old man scenes rock...i want more!

Yeah..yeah..I left out Taishi Ci and Zhou Tai...I couldn't think of anything