The small Asian man fidgeted uncomfortably, twisting the ends of his shirt. He still felt nervous being in his northern neighbors house. He had come here after being released from the hospital. "I don't want you being alone. Kiku might hurt you again," The Russian had claimed. Yao knew that Ivan was right, even if that wasn't his real reason for wanting Yao there. The Russian walked out and set a tray of tea on the table. He handed Yao a cup
"what's wrong?" he asked walking over to Yao. He slid his fingers across the Asian mans back tracing the newly made wound. "Does it hurt?"
Yao shook his head. he put his hand over his heart.
"This hurts more aru..." he mumbled Ivan wrapped his arms around Yao and pulled him close
"I know"
Yao looked up at the Russians eyes. They were filled with concern and worry.
"Could Ivan really care?" Yao asked himself.
Yao felt his eyes welling up and he quickly turned away.

"What is it Yao?" Ivan asked
Yao shook his head
"No"
"No what?"
"No, I don't want you to care about me aru. You'll only end up hurting me or leaving me...just like Kiku aru..."
Ivan stared at Yao, listening to his soft sobs. Ivan pulled Yao back allowing the Asian to burry his face in Ivan's shirt and cry. Ivan ran his fingers through Yao's dark hair and sighed.
"Don't worry Yao. I swear on the lives of every person in my country, I will never leave you or hurt you"
Yao nodded and continued crying, wrapping his arms around Ivan
"I wont leave you either aru..." he mumbled

Yao sat up, trying to shake the dream from his head. "Why did I remember that NOW?" he thought. "Is my brain trying to make me feel worse aru?"
Yao got up and walked downstairs to make some tea. He put water on the stove but quickly changed his mind. Instead he grabbed a bottle of Ivan's vodka "he wont be visiting here anymore so he wont need it" Yao told himself

Yao took the bottle back up to his room and sat on his bed. He opened the bottle and took in the strong scent
"just like Ivan..." he thought taking a sip of the vodka. The alcohol burned as it went down his throat. He drank some more and thought about Ivan. He couldn't help but remember the argument from earlier.
"Why are you doing this? What did I do wrong! I kept my promise so why are you leaving me!" Ivan had screamed,
"People change. WE changed" Yao replied
"please! Please don't do this to me!"
Yao could only shake his head as he walked away.
Yao took another sip of vodka trying to wash away the memories. He was already feeling dizzy from the alcohol. He took another drink and buried his face in the pillow
"Ivan..."he mumbled as he drifted back into sleep