My mother always told me that in life, we should not dream of the future, but instead concentrate on the present moment. For as long as I could remember these words flouted around in my mind. I never really understood them because you see, ever since I was a little girl I had formulated an idea of what exactly I wanted my life to be. And in this life I would require three things; me, myself and New York.
It was 1922 when I finally left the windy city. I had liked Chicago but it was never enough to satisfy my hunger for city life. The train ride to New York was long and hot. I was dressed in my finest clothes, from my Chanel shoes to my diamond earrings. My blonde hair was pulled up tight into a bun to hide the fact that I was unable to part with my long locks to wear it in the much more fashionable bob. Basically, the idea was that if you were a free-liberated woman then you sported your hair in this short style. I however, had found it hard to believe that a hair style would somehow transform me into a self-reliant woman. But still, being nineteen years old in New York City, I was afraid of not being taken seriously so I decided to wear my hair up hoping that it would fool others into believing that I was more sophisticated.
Within the first five hours of the ride I had pulled out my compact at least ten times to perfect my makeup and analyze each inch of my face. Coming from Chicago I was considered to be an acceptable person. I had successful friends, I was the top in my class and I came from a moderately wealthy family. But in all of this success I still couldn't shake the fear of not measuring up.
By the time I had finally arrived to the city I was eager to get some rest that the train ride unwillingly did not allow me to have but I had promised my cousin Daisy that I would stop by for dinner. I had rented a small house in one of the strangest communities in North America. Twenty miles from New York City I lived in the less fashionable west egg. Across the bay, millionaires hid themselves away in their palaces. Invisible to me that first day, there was a mysterious figure on one side and a flickering green light on the other.
Before I headed off to join the Buchanan's for supper I had spent a good hour or so contemplating on what I should do with the interior of the house. The place was an eyesore. But at least it was a small eyesore, and it gave me a view of the water, a partial view of my neighbor's lawn and the consoling proximity of millionaires-all for eighty dollars a month. As I began to sweep up the coat of dust that covered the wooden floor of the living room I heard a knock at my door. I paused for a moment wondering if there was some miscommunication about the location of tonight's dinner plans. As I made my way to the door I silently prayed for anyone other than Daisy and her husband to be standing at my door step. When I opened the door I was caught completely off guard. There stood a man on my doorstep in a black suit and bow tie. He was an older gentleman and he spoke with a thick French accent.
"Miss. Carraway?" The man asked.
"Yes?"
"I am Mr. Moreau. The Buchanan resistance has sent me here to pick you up and return you to their home for dinner." I looked over Mr. Moreau's shoulder to the dirt path that was my drive way. Sure enough, right beside my rented and rusted audio mobile was a flashy blue coupe.
I sat in the back of the vehicle and watched as my small little home disappeared into the distance. I had only formally met Daisy once at a Christmas party that my parents had thrown. I was only nine at the time while Daisy was twenty four. My mother introduced us, we said hello and that was as deep as our relationship had gone. I had only contacted her ten years later because I knew that she had lived here for quite some time and that her and her husband had established a fine name for themselves. I was a bit taken aback by her eagerness to hear from me because frankly I had expected her to have forgotten me. Daisy has been married to Tom for thirteen years now and has since been drifting aimlessly among the rich in France. She had told me over the telephone that this was to be a permanent move, but I didn't believe her.
Tom was who greeted me at the door. He shook my hand and told me that I was much younger than he had expected. He led me to the living room where I saw Daisy and another woman both lying on the enormous white couches. Suddenly a gust of wind came though the opened windows and blew up all of the sheer white curtains. Quickly all of the Buchanan's butlers rushed over to shut the windows.
"Nicole, I am paralyzed with happiness." Daisy said, extending her small hand towards mine. I took her hand and she rose up and spun me around slowly. 'My goodness you've grown up."
I smiled, secretly happy that someone thought that I was grown.
"Say hello to Jordan Baker. She's a pro golfer" Daisy said.
Jordan was a breed of woman that I had never seen in Chicago. She wore her fine brunette hair in that short trendy way and her lipstick in the brightest shade red.
"Hello, Miss. Baker." I reached out to shake her hand but she only stretched her arms out above her head and ignored me. Embarrassed, I shook off her rudeness and turned my attention back at Daisy.
"So how are things in Chicago? Do they miss me?" She asked.
"There's been a persistent wail of mourning along the north shore ever since you left." I said "They just keep screaming "Daisy! Why did you leave us?!" I said this in my most dramatic voice possible. Daisy found my act historical and began to laugh.
"Now, please forgive me ladies for cutting into your conversation but dinner is ready and I refuse to eat my food cold." Tom joked, with a charming smile.
Once we found our seats at the table Daisy began discussing life in New York with me. I had found that Daisy spoke of her life as if she was painting a picture. Each piece of it, her wealth, her house and her marriage all formed together into a perfect image that she constantly wanted to display. And I was in completely awe of all of it.
"Oh, Nicole it's absolutely wonderful." Daisy said to me, gently placing her small hand on my arm. "Only New York has the finest cars, the finest people and especially the finest parties."
"Tom just threw a party this past weekend for a charity event. It was all the talk of East Egg." Daisy said smiling over at her husband, who sat at the opposite end of the long table. I had never met Tom before today but I had known that he hailed from a socially solid family. Tom had strangely become quiet once we began dinner so Jordan decided to chime in.
"-Pssfff-'Being all the "talk" of East Egg doesn't mean anything anymore, darling." She said as she blew a puff of cigarette smoke out of the side of her mouth. She leaned in a bit closer, as if to tell Daisy a secret. "If you really want to see a party you'll have to cross over to West Egg and go to one of Gatsby's parties."
"Gatsby? What Gatsby?" Daisy asked curiously. But before any of us could speak another word the loud shrill of the telephone sounded from the other room. Everyone went silent as one of many Buchanan butlers quickly walked over and answered it. Suddenly the door opened and the butler spoke, looking over at Tom.
"Mr. Buchanan it is Mr. Wilson…"
Tom immediately excused himself and went on to take the call. I began to ask Jordan more about this Gatsby but was cut off.
"shhh" Jordan hissed at me as she slightly tilted her head to the door, informing me that we were listening. As we listened I watched Daisy's face fall into a mixture of sorrow and anger. Finally, Daisy stood from her seat, whispered an apology and strutted off to the other room. Once she was out of sight Jordan leaped from her chair and practically skipped over to the door.
"What is happening?" I asked.
"Toms got some woman in New York." She said, pressing her ear to the door. "I thought everyone knew by now. You surprised?"
"I'm more surprised by the fact that everyone knows. Daisy doesn't mind?"
Jordan laughed and then gave out a low sigh "Of course she minds, dear. But this is New York. Every married man has a girl in the city. By now It's like New York culture."
I tried hard to try to digest what Jordan had said. I found it hard to believe that this type of thing was the New York norm. Did Daisy and her other female friends all get together for Sunday brunch and discuss Tom's woman and all of their husbands women?
"You'd think she'd have the decency not to telephone him at dinner time, huh?" Jordan said with a shrug before returning to pick at her salad with her fork.
We were now listening quietly as Daisy screamed at Tom to get off the phone and to stop being so rude to their guest. There was a silent pause and then the sound of the phone being set down. Tom and Daisy returned to their places at the table like the whole scene had never happened. I sat there feeling awkward and uncomfortable with how nonchalant everyone was acting. I took a bite of my salad and chewed it slowly.
"Oh, look I hurt it." We all looked over at Daisy who was staring down at her red pinkie finger. "Tom did it." She said peering over at him with a slight smile.
Tom dropped his soup filled spoon back into the bowl and gave her a disapproving look.
"What?" She said, laughing. "You did do it even though you didn't mean to. That's what I get for marrying a brute like you; a great, big, hulking specimen of a man." She took a sip of her red wine and Tom sighed.
"I hate the word hulking." He said, bringing his spoon back up to his lips.
Daisy grasped her glass of wine back in her fingers. Before she took another sip she smiled at Tom and simply said. "Hulking." Once more.
"You're from the Midwest. Can't you distract us with some insights about crops?" Jordan said to me, obviously bored with Daisy and Toms back and forth.
"You want some insight?" Tom said in a now more serious tone. "Civilization is going to pieces. Have you read the rise of the colored empire? Everyone should read it."
Daisy leaned in, her hand at my shoulder. "We've got to beat them down" She whispered with a wink.
"The idea is.." Tom continued "that it's up to us, the dominant race to watch out or these other races will have control of things." Tom said effectively changing the subject.
"So, Nicole, What brings you here to New York?" Jordan asked me, apparently not enthused about Tom's interest in literature either.
"well.." I began "I came here hoping to find a job writing for a newspaper. Coming to New York has always been a dream of mine."
Tom laughed slightly "Writing, huh? Sounds like a lot of work for little pay."
"Tom.." Daisy snapped in a warning tone.
"Oh, no it's fine." I said to Daisy, waving off her concern "And sadly true. I guess you just have to have a passion for it."
Tom smiled, seeming to find my response amusing.
Daisy placed her hand on my arm once more. I was beginning to realize that this was something Daisy did when she wanted your absolute attention "I love having you here in my home, Nicole. You remind me of a rose. An absolute rose isn't she?" She said to everyone at the table.
"Oh, please Daisy. You're just absolutely in love with the fact that she looks just like you." Jordan said, lighting another cigarette.
Daisy paused and looked at me for a moment and then smiled. "You think so?" She asked, joyously.
"Absolutely.." Jordan continued. "If Nicole was just a few inches taller and a few more pounds lighter you two could be twins." She finished her insult with a blow of cigarette smoke in my face. She smiled at me just before taking a long drink of her wine, finishing it off. Daisy awkwardly cleared the throat as if it would somehow clear the new tension in the room. I wanted to confront Jordan but I didn't know what to say. I had never dealt with bullying and I wasn't exactly sure what I did to deserve it from her now. Tom took it upon himself to step in.
"Now now, ladies. We are all sophisticated people here." He said as he signaled with a wave of his hand for the butlers to begin clearing the table. Once our plates were taken away Jordan removed herself from the group and made her way to Daisy's couch for a nap. Tom offered to call me up a cab and as he did Daisy linked her arm with mine and began to walk us through the yard.
"I feel like I hardly know you at all." Daisy said. "You didn't even come to my wedding, you know."
"I had finals that weekend. I sent you a card and gift with best wishes." I told her with an apologetic smile.
She squeezed my arm slightly. "I suppose that's true."
Once we reached the tall iron fence that surrounded the house Daisy unlinked her arm from mine. We both stood there for a moment in silence as we watched the passing cars from the road. There was a strange abundance of them passing through. The sight of all of the people squeezed into their small cars reminded me of some clowns that I had seen at the circus some years ago. The cars swerved, almost crashing into each other. Everyone, including the drivers had their heads out of the windows laughing at the top of their lungs. The presence of alcohol was obviously apparent. We could not only smell the liquor from the house but everyone was proudly waving their bottles in their hands.
I began to laugh "Looks like quite a party down there."
Daisy did not join me in my amusement.
"I've had a very bad time, Nicole." Daisy finally said, as she still looked off to the cars ahead. "I'm pretty cynical about everything. Everything's terrible anyhow. At least, everyone thinks so. And I know, I've been everywhere, seen everything and done everything."
She finally looked at me and tried to fake a smile. "What was the word Tom used earlier? Oh right, "sophisticated" My God, I'm so sophisticated."
Before I could even begin to think of what to say I was saved by Tom calling out to us from the front door. He informed the both of us that there were no more cabs available tonight due to everyone needing a sober ride home from a party across town. I was slightly relieved when Tom offered to give me a ride home. I was exhausted and frankly was beginning to get a headache from all of the excitement.
Daisy gave me a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek before Tom and I drove off. Traffic was awful and everyone was yelling at each other. I could have even sworn that I saw a liquor bottle that had been thrown almost hit the windshield. The whole car ride Tom asked me questions about myself. After a while I was beginning to feel a bit conceded from constantly talking about myself. Tom seemed to be especially intrigued with my age. I explained to him that I was mature and I would not let my age define me. He nodded, seeming to agree with my statement.
By the time we finally reached my house I was thankful that it was dark enough outside so he could not see how pathetic it was. The last thing I wanted was for Tom to go back home and tell Jordan and Daisy about the mess I live in. Tom walked me to the door, telling me that it was too dark and I could trip. I thanked him for his kindness.
"Thank you for taking me home." I said as I unlocked my front door.
"Oh, no problem." Tom said with a small smile on his face. "You know, Daisy and I were talking and we'd love to take you out soon to show you around the city."
"Really?" I asked. Again I was taken by surprise by the couple's kindness.
Tom's smile grew. "Yes, of course. You're family after all."
I felt a sudden rush of excitement fill my body. I wanted jump for joy but decided to wait until I was in the privacy of my own home to do so. I thanked Tom and told him to tell Daisy that I was looking forward from hearing from them. That night I laid in my bed feeling restless. I decided to grab a flashlight and go for a walk down by the bay. The summer air felt good as the wind blew against my pale skin. As I made my way towards the water I noticed that the one of the two mansions that my house was squeezed between had all of its lights on. Being the nosy woman that I was I began to walk closer to the mountainous home. As I grew closer I noticed a mysterious figure standing at the end of the dock. I began to walk towards it and soon realized that the figure was a man. I watched as he reached out his hand to the other end of the bay. I could have sworn that he was trembling. I looked across the water and noticed that there was a bright green light on the other side. I was completely captivated by the sight and couldn't help but wonder if this was The Gatsby that Jordan had spoken of. Something told me that he was. When I looked back once more for Gatsby he had vanished, and I was alone in the bitter darkness.