I was a CSI fanfic and one of the characters got cancer, and I started to cry.
Recently, my step-mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, and it hit hard, so I decide to write this. This is what really happened to us, and Bones was the only fandom that I could think of that'd work. I just got Parker to play me (even though I'm a girl), my dad as Seeley Booth, My step-mother, the ever lovable Carrie as Temperance Brennan. And Carrie's sister is Angela Montenegro
So I dedicate this story and song to my second mother, and wonderful friend, Carrie.
Love you Carrie!
Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or the song Swim.
Parker is older, like 16 or 17 in here.
You gotta swim
Swim for your life
Swim for the music
That saves you when you're not so sure you'll survive
You gotta swim
And swim when it hurts
The whole world is watching
You haven't come this far to fall off the earth
The currents will pull you away from your love
Just keep your head above.You gotta swim
Swim for your life
Swim for the music
that saves you when your not so sure you'll survive
You gotta swim
and swim when it hurts
the whole world is watching
you haven't come this far to fall off the earth
the currents will pull you
away from your love
just keep your head aboveYou gotta swim
Swim for your life
Swim for the music
that saves you when your not so sure you'll survive
You gotta swim
and swim when it hurts
the whole world is watching
you haven't come this far to fall off the earth
the currents will pull you
away from your love
just keep your head above
The call came around six in the evening. "Hello?"
"Parker, its Dad." Came a response on the other end.
"Oh, Hey Dad, what's up?" Parker said as he waved to his Mom to just go ahead and he'd catch up later.
"Are you by yourself?" Seeley asked.
"Yeah, why?" Parker asked starting to get suspicious.
"See, its Tempe." Seeley said tiredly.
"What 'bout her?" Parker inquired about his step-mother.
His dad sighed. "She went to get a mammogram last week, you know what this is right?"
"Yeah," Parker nodded even though his dad couldn't see it. "It's a scan for breast cancer, why?" He was starting to get a bad feeling.
"Well, they found something, not too serious on the scan, so they did a biopsy. Then they called us in today to talk, they say she has breast cancer." His dad said quietly.
Parker felt his hand go lax and the phone almost slip. "W-what?" He asked getting a better grip on his cell.
He heard a rough chuckle through the ear piece. "Yeah, that's what I said too."
"Cancer, like chemotherapy, hair-losing, she could die cancer?" Parker asked still in disbelief.
"Hey, hey, hey, she is not gonna die." Seeley reassured him.
"But Dad, s-"
"No 'buts', Parker, look, she's scheduled for surgery on the 3rd and they're gonna remove it, the breast I mean. She's gonna have chemo no matter what and, after that we'll just have to play it by ear."
Parker sighed and a hand through his hair, it felt like someone had punched him in the gut and all he wanted to do was throw up. "How is she taking it?"
"With nods and smiles."
"In other words it hasn't sunk in yet, or she just hiding how scared she really is."
"Basically."
"Lovely." Parker muttered darkly. He then threw his head back and looked at the late blooming stars as they started to peek out from their days slumber.
How could a day start out so normal, almost ordinary even, turn out to just all go to crap?
"How are you doing, Dad?" He finally asked.
"To be perfectly honest, it hasn't even sunk in for me. When the doctor told us I wanted to laugh, like, 'Yeah right, now tell us what it really is.' But now, it just kind of feels…numb."
God, why? Seeley and Temperance were perfect for each other, every one knew it, and finally so did they. Why is it, when Fate finally decided to throw them a bone, did everything have to shatter?
Why Temperance? His kind, loving, caring, super intelligent step-mother. God, if Seeley lost Temperance, they'd all lose him to his own grief, he'd never be the same again.
Control. He was losing control. Scratch that, he has no control over the situation. He couldn't do anything to help, he just had to sit back along with his dad, and watch the evil mutated cells devourer his step-mother.
"Dad," Parker said after what seemed like ages. "I-I wanna be there. For her."
"Buddy, that's really nice and all, but you really don't have to."
"I know I don't have to. I want to."
I found a tidal wave
Begging to tear down the door
Memories like bullets
They fire at me from a gun
Cracking me up now
I swim for brighter days despite the absence of sun
Chocking on salt water
I'm not giving in
Swim.
The night before the surgery everyone was on edge, it was like they were walking on a tight rope on a blade of a knife.
They had decided to go out to eat, Parker, Seeley, Temperance, and Angela, who had come for moral support for her best friend, who was more like a sister really.
Parker couldn't hold still in his seat, every time he readjusted himself he'd look up to make sure no one noticed how jittery he was. He'd locked eyes with Temperance more than once while do it that. She'd just smile and continue on with the conversation she was having with his dad or Angela.
How could she be so calm and cool? Parker wasn't even the one getting surgery tomorrow and he was starting to sweat it.
When they had gone home that evening, Parker started getting pillows and sheets for the couch since Angela had been given his bed for the night. He didn't mind that, he knew he wouldn't get much sleep tonight anyway, might as well give his bed to someone who'll use it.
As he lay there on the uncomfortable brown couch his dad had brought into the marriage to Temperance, he thought back to what Temperance had said when she hugged him good night. She had said she was really glad he was there. As long as she was she was happy, he knew that was going to be a rare emotion on the coming weeks, so she'd better get as much of it as she can while she still has the chance.
You gotta swim
Swim for the nights that won't end
Swim for your family
Your lovers, your sisters
And your brothers and friends
You gotta swim
For wars without cause
Swim for those lost politicians
Who don't see their greed as a flaw
The currents will pull us
Away from our love
Just keep your head above.
It spread.
That's what the doctor said. That had hoped that when they removed the cancerous breast that that'd be it, sew her up, and send her off to chemo in a few weeks.
But, no, nothing is never that easy.
Apparently, it wasn't only in her breast anymore, it had spread to her lymph nodes, so they also had to take the nodes under her arm too.
Lovely.
The doctor had told them it was going to be a long and bumpy road, and she needed them for support.
After his stomach dropped to his butt, Parker just nodded with that rest of them.
When they saw Temperance later she didn't know, she was all smiles and happy that the cancer gone. But, then the doctor came in and Parker stood there, listening for the second time to the news.
He watched as Temperance's smile melted away little by little, then she put on a fake one, and tried to hide the fear in her eyes, as said she's ready to just do what ever she had to do to get rid of it.
He watched has she and his father exchanged a look, and looked away wanting to run from the news, and the cancer, and the sense of dread. But, Temperance needed him, his dad needed him.
He was their normality.
You gotta swim
Swim in the dark
There's an ocean to drift in
Feel the tide shifting away from this war
Yeah you gotta swim
Don't let yourself sink
Just find the horizon
I promise you it's not as far as you think
Currents will drag us away from our love
Just keep your head above…
She had radiology for about a month after that. They aimed it at her liver, where they had found out later, that cancer had also spread there too.
Then came the chemo.
He wasn't there when Temperance went to her first chemo session, nor the second or third, so when he saw her after just before her fourth…he was shocked to say the least. While radiology didn't really affect her, chemo did the total opposite.
The chemo didn't make her nauseous, they gave her medicine for that, but it did change her appetite, and she didn't eat a lot, thus resulting in weight loss. He noticed her wedding band, which had fit perfectly, was now extremely loose on her now thin finger. And, of course, her hair was just about gone. She wore hats, claiming that the wig she had gotten made was too itchy. She got a little self-conscious when they went out in public, thinking people would stare.
Parker wanted to tell her to hell with what people thought about her being bald, she was a Pink Warrior, fighting evil mutated cells that are trying to take over her body, and she's winning. She should be proud and wear it tall.
But, she was still head strong and still held strong, always optimistic, or at least in front of people, and always reassuring them it was going to be okay when it should have been then reassuring her.
It was weird, before, when he watched TV and saw the cancer walks, and hospitals, and people wanting you to donate to their cancer societies, he never really paid attention. Yeah, he felt bad for them and stuff, but then he'd turn the channel to see what else was on.
But now, he paid attention, he could connect to the family that had gone through this with their loved ones.
The stuff life has to throw at ya for you to give a damn, right?
His dad had bought countless books on how to be a supporting husband when your wife has breast cancer, he was behind her 100% all the way.
Parker only saw her have a break down once, and his dad was instantly by her side, while he just stood there, frozen to that spot. He remembered his dad tell in him, just before this personal hell had started, that had been a while since God "tested" him, and he was waiting for it.
So, maybe this was it, this was his dad's test, to test his love and loyalty to Temperance. If that was so, Parker thought his dad had passed with flying colors years ago, but now, he knew his dad truly breaks the mold.
I found a tidal wave
Begging to tear down the door
Memories like bullets
They fire at me from a gun
Cracking me up now
I swim for brighter days despite the absence of sun
Chocking on salt water
I'm not giving in
Swim.
His grades started to slip.
His dad didn't like that.
He became quite, and with drawn.
His mom didn't like that.
He only went from home, to school, to home.
His friends didn't like that.
He felt guilty, he wasn't even the one suffering from cancer and it was affecting him greatly.
Temperance didn't like that. He felt totally useless, and out of control.
He didn't like that.
I'm not giving in
Swim
Temperance was down to her last two chemo sessions, and then she'd have to go back to radiology for her liver again. But, it looks good, things will get better. His dad won't ever lose Temperance, like he would ever want to. He knew he'd never Temperance, the greatest step-mother that took him and treated him like he was her own ever before she had gotten together with his dad.
Looks like Fate had gotten tired of teasing them with the light at the end of the very long tunnel, and had finally showed them real sunshine during their starless night of despair.
It'll be good, as long as they keep their heads above and tread threw the worse of the storm together. Yeah, always together.
Swim.