Dwight sat quietly at his desk, embracing his legs, locked in a fetal position. He was utterly and hopelessly unaware as to what he should do.
Jim, ever trying to find new ways to mentally torture his naïve co-worker, locked him in the office overnight, leaving Dwight completely and unabashedly ……
NAKED.
No, not really… I'm just messin' with you… (admit it, you were turned on.)
Well, anyway, Dwight ,83 sure this was the work of samurai/androids/ninjas/mutants/Jack Nicholson, was left scared and alone until everyone returned the next morning.
"Think, Dwight, think: what would Aragorn, King of Gondor, do?"
Dwight was struck by imagination and rummaged through a small box he kept underneath his desk. He tossed aside many items before sinking to his knees; his hopes shattered.
"Why, of all these days did I not bring Andúril!?!?!?!?"
-You know, that really long sword.
He kicked Jim's desk in a fit of rage, cursing like a sailor.
"Get a hold of yourself, Man!!" Dwight slapped himself. "There's only one way we'll get through this: If we work together!"
To this day, we still do not know who the hell Dwight was talking to. But, right now, it didn't matter: because Dwight, without hesitation, picked up a chair and hurled it at a window.
"HA HA!!!" he yelled. From outside, a gust of air came forth and filled the office, sweeping up every bit of paper and tiny objects it could find, and carrying it into the night.
Dwight stood at the edge of the shattered window, laughing maniacally. This was just too much for him: he'd probably NEVER get to be this "cool"-looking, like in the movies! He must seize this opportunity by the ankles and slam it against a wall!
Dwight tore off his shirt like the manly-man he thought he would've looked like and wrapped his tie around his forehead: he saw that on TV once.
"Think, Dwight, think: what will you get to do now that you'll NEVER get to do again?"
Once again, "genius" struck Dwight in the form of insanity when he looked straight into the eye of the broken window.
"BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
Jim decided to come a little early- 4:00 am to be presise-to check on Dwight, and possibly "save" him. Jim was trying to contain himself as unlocked the door to the office with the key he swiped from that janitor-dude.
"I guess I'll just start early today." Jim said, sarcastically, trying to inconspicuously look around for Dwight. Jim felt uneasy when he saw a large hole in the window.
"DWIGHT! WHAT.DID.YOU.DO?" he said, looking around the office.
Something was NOT right. Wait, where was his desk?
"Dwi-ight? Where's my desk!?" Jim said. A clear path had been made from his desk to the window.
"Oh god." Said Jim, leaning against the part of the window that wasn't broken: there was his desk, scattered, shattered, beaten and crushed.
"DWIGHT!!!"
Dwight didn't hear him, he had already escaped through the air vent and was on his way to Canada.
Author: RATE…or you are doomed to a fate of Chihuahuas and Chinese noodles!! Mmmm…noodles.