"I mean come on, we can't live like this!" I stood starring not believing my ears. "We need to get over this we have that we're going to be together, because let's face it, the possibility of that happening is very slim if not impossible." I was about to cry as the words hit my ears with a bitter ring. What was happening? I mean how could this happen?

"Wha-what are you saying? What do you mean this can't work?" I looked at him in bewilderment. He looked amazing, brown hair in his eyes, the eyes and hair that I had fallen in love with so many years ago.

"I mean that we just might not be meant to be like we always thought. It is possible that we were just blinded by puppy love before," the words came out as both speech and random burst of tears that filled the air of his loft like a bad smell.

"But I love you…and if I'm not mistaken you love me too," the words were blurred with the sound of a small whimper.

"I do love you but it's too complicated." By this point I couldn't take it anymore and I had run out of his large door and was heading to the street. I sat on the curb crying softly as I waited for a cab to drive by, as he lived a ways off of the main part of town you always had to call a cab to pick you up.

It might help you understand if you got a little background information. So I'll start at the college days.

He was fine that I wouldn't have sex with him at first but then I realized how frustrated he was getting. I thought that maybe if he could wait just a few more days he'd realize that maybe he wouldn't want sex after all but I knew it was coming. So on the day of his 20th birthday we slept together for the first time. He was so loving and caring and he asked me how I was after and he held me while we slept after.

"Michael," I said after he finally stopped breathing so hard.

"Mia?" he asked holding his hand in my hair softly pushing it back.

"I was wondering, do you think this is going to change our relationship?" He had his arm around my waist holding me safely in his arms.

"Maybe, but not for the bad. I promise that I won't always have my mind on sex or anything." He held his breath waiting for a response.

"Okay," I said softly into his chest.

His sister was always my best friend but we never let Michael and my relationship get in the way of our relationship. She always told me when she thought he was being an ass and when she thought I was being stupid. I secretly think she wanted us to get married so she and I could be sister in laws which would be cool. At the time we seemed perfect. Everyone thought we were going to last.

He was going off to California, something he vowed to never do yet there he was going, for grad school. I still couldn't understand why he had to go so far away.

"I promise that when I come back we'll be together," he'd say but he didn't know. He didn't understand that even if he wouldn't move on I'd need to. I couldn't just hold on to him like that because I wouldn't be able to survive.

But every time he'd say that I'd always respond the same way with, "Yeah I know." He always would hold me and tell me that he loved me and then kiss my forehead.

One day when I had gotten particularly frustrated I outright asked him if we were going to break up. He chocked on the coke he was drinking and nearly broke the waitress's foot with the plate that he sent soaring to the floor. "What do you mean?" he asked, his eyes big and bright.

"I mean are we going to break up when you leave?" I restated myself and he looked as if he might get sick.

"I don't know. Do you want to?" him asking it in this way made me sick to my stomach for even thinking it.

"It's just that you're going to be so far away and you're going to be meeting new girls, new girls that you might want to date. And maybe it'd be good for us. You know, make sure we are meant to be." I looked into his eyes and he seemed to be stuck in a bog instead of me.

"I see," he said straight forward. "Are we going to wait till I actually leave or are we going to experiment now?" he looked at his plate. I couldn't believe what I had just done. I broke the man I loved heart.

"No of course not. Do you understand why I'm doing this?"

He shook his head then said, "Of course I don't know. Mia I thought you loved me."

"I do!" I protested. "It's just that I want to make sure I get all temptation out of my system before I commit myself to you forever. I mean what if I get bored of you? I don't want that."

"So I bore you? I was pretty sure that you loved me but I guess not. You know Mia sometimes you get people all wrong. I guess I got you wrong." He stood leaving money on the table. He practically ran to the door waving down a cab.

"Michael! Wait!" I yelled after him. He tried to leave but I slide into the cab after him before he shut the door. He slide as far away from me as possible.

"Sir, do you want to bring this young woman home too?" the very strange polite cab driver asked, it must have been his first day.

"Uh," Michael grunted. I gave him Michael's address and I started to try to explain.

"I love you." He looked out of the window. I pushed as far over as possible to where our legs where touching. "I just think we should do this because I do want to spend my life with you but I've only been with you so what if I get tempted by the grass on the other side? At least if I do this now I can know that my grass will always be brighter with you." He seemed to be listening. His shoulders fell a little as he concentrated on my words. He seemed to be hanging to my every word.

"Pookie will always love her baby," I said and he finally turned.

"I love you, too." He looked at me. His eyes weren't lost anymore but they were penetrating on me. "I understand why you had to do what you did. I was going to suggest it probably."

"Aww come on kiss her already," the cab driver looked back at us with his eyes full of tears. Michael grabbed my hand and squeezed it softly.

"I love you, Thermopolis. You are amazing," he said under his breath as our lips were only centimeters apart. The cab driver turned around and snapped a picture as we were at a red light.

"You are my first costumers!"

Michael held my hand and looked in my eyes. "I'm going to miss you more than you will ever understand." I felt tears develop in my eyes.

"I will miss you more," I said back.

"I don't think so," Michael countered. He sat in the cab the rest of the way to his apartment looking at me, holding my hand and tucking my head under his chin.

The day of his graduation was so hard on me. I stood in front of the mirror of his mom's apartment and tried to apply make up under my eyes so that you couldn't see the dark circles under my eyes from when I couldn't go to sleep last night. I was worried. What if he did meet a new better girl and when he came back we couldn't be together? I won't lie, Michael is a stud and the only way some girl can't see that is if she's blind.

I walked into his room where he was only in his boxers. "Hey!" he said as he tried to cover himself.

"It's me." I fell onto his bed. I looked at where his stars had once been; now they were no longer there because his mom was redoing his room.

"Hey me." Hey laid next to me on his side. If it was at all possible, he had gained even more muscle then when we had started dating. He looked like that Olympic swimmer now. What was his name? Oh yeah Michael Phelps. His muscles sometimes over whelmed me. It was like he was so perfect. I slide my arm in between his arm and his chest. He moaned softly.

"Why are you leaving?" I asked him again. He kissed my forehead before he responded. At first I thought he was asleep but then I felt his fingers go in circles around my back. He fell backward pulling me on top of him.

"Can we not talk about this today? I still have a couple of weeks. Can we just …just lay here?" his eyes were watery. I burred my face in his chest.

"Yeah, sure." His chest was a nice place to cry and his hand comforted me as he started shaking softly. I guess it was harder on him then it was on me just because he was responsible for my tears.

I looked up at him, tears rolling down his face. I kissed them away and held his hand. I tried to be his strength but it was so hard. I couldn't be this strong.