A/N: Okay, so I'm actually really nervous about this little ficlet. It's my first RJ and more specifically, my first Gilmore Girls fic. I haven't even read any before, so I'm sure this piece of crap will probably be laughed at compared to the wonderful fics that are out there.
On a different side note: this is post 4x13.
Nothing after it at all; just my alternate ending to that heartbreaking episode (or last few minutes, it depends on how many allergies you have *wink*)
Oh, and may I just say that RJ totally PWNS??!!!
Hope you all like it! Please review! They make my day!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did, do you really think Jess' last scene of the show would've ended with Rory leaving?
It's when he walks away that she really starts crying. And it's the tears she's only ever cried for one boy. Because she knows her head has already forgiven him. It's only her heart that's still conflicted. And she knows that he's truly sorry by just one look into his eyes. She'd always been able to read them. But after he said those words, it seemed like the world was spinning around her and it was hard for her breathe. Hard for her to breathe because she feels like irony's bitch right now and all that entails. She told him she imagined how that moment would be like and the truth was (not that she'd admit it to anyone but her mom) it was exactly how it turned out. Jess Mariano didn't tell people he loved them. Ever. Not even Luke, the only one that ever cared.
So, knowing that information and remembering the conflicting pain grazing his features, she can't help but fully believe him.
She had everything: the best mom (and friend), grandparents that adored her, close friends, the best education that money didn't buy. But those weren't enough to make her feel fully content. No, there was something missing. There always been until he popped up in town. They weren't even together yet, but they had a bond like no other. He was her literate equal and overall good friend. They could stay up until 2am debating which Brontë sister really was superior.
And it hadn't been until he left after the incident that she realized how much big a part of her life he had taken. So she went all the way to New York even though she was in a long term, committed relationship at the time just to see him. And although she regretted it completely because that bus kept her from her mother's big moment, she still (secretly) treasured that day and dreamt about it that night. That day was magical, in her mind. Just the two of them: drinking coffee, listening to music, reading various backs of books, and just talking. There was no one from Stars Hollow there to gossip about it and spread the news like wildfire, so everyone would know by sunset. None of that followed her. It was just two (almost) platonic friends hanging out because they missed each other. And the fact that he was glad she came made her heart beat just a little harder.
Before her thoughts get too far into the darkness of her memories, it suddenly occurs to her that her feet are taking her somewhere. But she doesn't really know where until she finds herself in the exact place that his car had been just moments before and she's staring at his moving car with a forlorn expression on her face. He spots her through his rear view mirrors and almost dares to stop his newly fixed hunk of junk car that he loves. But he knows that he's hurt her before and he'll probably hurt her again. So he just leans forward, turns the radio dial, and drowns himself in the sounds of Elvis Costello. His foot on the gas pedal goes down further and he finally thinks that he's out of her life. He isn't sure if he likes that or not.
She takes in her surroundings. Everything's a little blurry. And not just from the tears. Then it dawns on her that he's out of her life for good. And it should be a good thing because most of everything in her life turned to turmoil when he entered it. But she thinks that this is kind of the opposite of what she wants and that fact lingers in her for a little while until she breathes out the words that she wishes she'd said only five minutes prior.
"I love you too."
A/N: Whew, at least I know that someone read it. Yeah, I know it was outrageously short and I could've done so much better. But if I get positive feedback (and even constructive criticism), I might just think about dabbling a little more into the world that is RJ.
Pretty please review!