Yes, here it is a new story from SteffieDawn, I've been working on this for a while but I don't think I'll be uploading as fast as I have with Futures and Practising and I still have to finish a lot of my other stories!

This story will eventually be Bolivia but until then just enjoy the damn thing ... or try at least ;)

R&R please! :D

Olivia rolled out of bed, her head screaming in protest but the alarm blaring reminded her that she had to go to work, it didn't matter about the self-inflicted pain in her head from the amount of alcohol she'd consumed.

She grabbed hold of her phone and slammed the alarm off before making her way to the bathroom. She had fourteen missed called, five text messages and one voice mail, all off the same person but she didn't want to reply to any of it so she cleared the phone but didn't delete the messages so that she could read them later… if she felt like it.

She showered in cold water rather than warm hoping to shift some of the hangover she knew that would bother her all day but that didn't matter, the pain in her head was better than the pain in her heart.

After the shower she went into the kitchen and made herself a strong black coffee before going to her bedroom to dress.

The past few weeks she'd been dressing up for work as she had a reason to, she'd put on some make up, do her hair in a nice way and wear clothes that hugged her very feminine figure with the slight muscular form. Today, she wouldn't be wearing any of that. She blow dried her hair but pulled it quickly into a scruffy bun in the back of her head, she dabbed concealer onto her face just to hide the bags under her eyes from where she'd cried herself to sleep but didn't bother with anything , then she pulled on a pair of loose sweat pants and a tank top with a cardigan, she didn't care about how she looked, she had no reason too.

After leaving her apartment thanking the Lord it was sunny so she could hide her eyes behind her sunglasses she went into the nearest coffee shop to get her usual before hailing a cab to work.

Once at the precinct she went straight to her desk, her head bowed to try and hide. Her partner who was already there spotted her immediately.

"Hey Olivia you ok?" Nick asked.

"Fine." She replied and he knew instantly she wasn't, not only from her appearance but from the hoarse answer she had given him, she'd been so happy the past few weeks and he knew straight away that something was up.

"You sure?" Nick pushed which was the wrong thing to do.

"Yes God damn it." She hissed as she dug through her drawer for some pain killers.

Nick retreated and glanced over at Fin who'd heard the confrontation. Fin just shrugged, he wasn't as in tune to Olivia as her partner was even if they were closer friends, Nick was just there all the time so got more of a look into her personal life.

Olivia's phone rang again and she looked at it, saw the name and quickly rejected it but as soon as she'd put the phone down on her desk it lit up again.

"Benson." She said lazily into the handset.

Olivia, why did you leave so quickly last night?

"I couldn't sit there anymore and have you being unable to look at me." She replied trying desperately to hide the cry that threatened to spill over.

I thought… I was hoping we could still be friends, confidents, something.

"It's not going to work, please don't do this to me." Olivia pleaded quietly unaware of her partner listening intently.

I'm so sorry Liv, I really thought we could have been something special.

"I know… So did I… please don't call me again?"

Don't do that Olivia…

"Don't! It hurts too much and I can't… please don't… just speak to me when you have to … if… if you ever have to I mean it all depends right… just please don't call me again?" She sobbed and Nick couldn't help himself from going over and handing her a tissue as she finally pulled off her sunglasses revealing her swollen eyes from the previous night's crying.

Fine, if that's what you want, just… just know I'm sorry and I love you Olivia that will never change.

"I know...God...I love you too." She replied before quickly hanging up the phone.

"Come on." Nick said pulling her by the hand, he wasn't about to let her break down in the middle of a full squad room.

He took her out of the precinct and down the block till they reached a coffee cart. After buying two coffee's he decided a full circle around the block would be good for her.

"Wanna talk about it?" Nick asked calmly.

"No." Olivia replied firmly.

"Ok, we can walk in silence." Nick replied.

"Why do men always leave?" She asked without thinking.

"I'm not going anywhere." Nick suggested.

"Yeah that's what he said too, thirteen years ago." Olivia snapped, again, not thinking.

"Is that who was on the phone?" Nick asked in surprise.

"Who?" Olivia frowned.

"Your ex-partner."

"No, God no, I haven't heard anything from Elliot in seven months." Olivia replied.

"So do I get to know who the man is I have to go and break his fingers for hurting my partner?" Nick asked gaining a smile off Olivia.

"No." Olivia still said. "It doesn't matter who he is."

"Olivia." Nick sighed. "I've been your partner for six months now and I trust you right and I thought you could trust me too."

"I do trust you Nick… much more than I thought I would if I'm honest." Olivia replied giving him a weak yet reassuring smile.

"Good." He smiled. "Now, I know in the past five months you've been much happier than you had been the first month we were partners, and you said on the phone 'I love you too' which suggest to me he said it first but seconds before you said that you're crying telling him not to call again. So he doesn't sound like someone who doesn't matter." Nick explained and Olivia chuckled lightly.

"You're right, he does matter, a lot. That's actually the problem here Nick, we're not allowed to be together because of the situation we're in and … it doesn't stop me from loving him or change the fact that I fell in love with him." Olivia explained.

"So you fell in love with David Hayden?" Nick asked and he chuckled when Olivia's head snapped up towards him. "I'm your partner Liv, you don't think I didn't notice the smiles you gave when he was around, the looks you flashed him from across the room, I may be a man but I am not dumb!"

"He took the new job running the conviction integrity unit, he's going to be looking through my old cases and because we couldn't disclose… the last five months never happened." Olivia sighed.

"But they did Olivia, even if they shouldn't have they still did and you both fell for each other, quickly might I add but you did and that's what's important." Nick said softly as they rounded the corner back for the station house.

"Yeah you're right, they did happen Nick but he can't… not now… his job means everything to him and I won't let him throw it all away for me, he suggested that he should but I couldn't… I couldn't allow him to do that." Olivia replied.

"Why not Olivia? If he's willing?"

"Because he'd resent me for it in the end." Olivia explained hurriedly. "Maybe not now, not ten months down the line not even ten years down the line but at some point he would end up blaming me and I couldn't live with that so I told him that him and I never happened, it's safer for both of us that way." Olivia explained just as they arrived outside the precinct steps. "Thanks for the coffee, and the talk." Olivia smiled.

"You're welcome, I'm your partner Liv so whenever ok?" He smiled and Olivia nodded gratefully.

So what y'all think?