Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or any of the characters.
A Valentine's Day story, spoilerfree, just a sweet story for my sore heart on this lonely day. And maybe for the coming days as well.
This is set after 5x16 The Parts In The Sum Of The Whole, somewhere before Hannah or in a universe where she never existed in the first place.
Love in the Night.
It was that day again.
Valentine's Day. Brennan hated it. She had contemplated not going to work, because going to work meant surrounding herself with people who believed that love was transcendent and eternal. And even though Booth had promised her that one day she would believe in that too, she still hadn't found the evidence to support his theory.
He had confessed his feelings to her a few weeks ago, and she had rejected him. She hadn't understood her own reasons but she had known it was the right thing to do. For Booth. They hadn't worked very well together after that, Booth didn't visit the lab as often and he didn't call or text her as much as he used to. She missed it, she missed him, but it hadn't compromised her work.
Until today.
Because today was an opportunity for her to fix things. She didn't believe in Valentine's Day but she knew it existed and that it was important to many people. She didn't know if Booth was one of those people but she did now know the romantic side he possessed, and that was what Valentine's Day was all about, romance. And commercial benefits of course, but Booth wouldn't care about that. Romance wasn't something she tried often or had ever really appreciated, but she could try. For Booth, and for their friendship which she had so expertly destroyed, she would try.
Booth was at a loss. For years he had worked beside his partner, knowing she had a very strong but very fragile heart, even though that seemed like a contradiction. She was braver than anyone he knew yet she was scared to take the leap towards something more than friendship. He hadn't known many losses in his time as a gambler, but a while ago, he had gambled and lost. Lost the dearest thing in his life: the hope of something more in his future with Temperance Brennan.
So today was a curse for him. Valentine's day, so close after losing that hope. He felt like staying in bed, like drinking cold beer in his bath and watching a game but he had to go to work. He just had to, because he knew if he stayed at home today, he would stay at home tomorrow. And the day after.
He went to work, hoping he wouldn't have to face her today. He could handle any other day, but today, he just didn't want to see her. She reminded him of times he wanted to forget. So he sat in his office, reading reports and signing papers and reading some more reports.
Temperance Brennan did the same. She worked like any other day, but her heart was pounding in her chest. Tonight she would go to him, try to see him at his office and offer to buy him a drink. She knew he liked going for drinks, they had done and enjoy it plenty of times before. Only tonight she'd go with the pretext of fixing their friendship, and she wanted to try and talk to him about that night. She knew it would hurt them both but it would, in the end, be better than what they were to each other right now: Strangers who knew each other too well.
She went home a little too early for no one to notice, but she didn't see the looks Angela and Cam exchanged. Both women had seen and discussed the changes going on between Booth and Brennan, but neither had known what to do about it. They were worried, because even though they knew how different they were, Booth and Brennan were meant to be together. Not separate, like they were now. They didn't know what had happened or how to fix it, so every time either Booth or Brennan did something different than usual, Angela and Cam noticed it, but so far they hadn't been able to conclude anything other than that something had dealt the close friendship between the partners a serious blow.
Brennan changed into a simple blouse and skirt because she didn't want to be too obvious, but still she wanted to look good for Booth. She went to the office to meet him. She knew where his office was but once she got out of the elevator, her courage just disappeared and she was grounded.
Booth heard the elevator but from his position, he couldn't see who had entered the floor and with people coming and going all the time he didn't really care.
Until he heard one of his agents.
'Good evening, Dr. Brennan.'
He got up, confused as to her reason for being in his building. He needed to see her and he needed her to stay away, he didn't know which one he wanted most, but his heart decided for him. His feet took him to the corridor where he saw her, frozen, looking in his direction.
'Hi, Bones.'
It took her a second to answer.
'Hi, Booth.'
'Why are you here?' he asked, approaching her slowly.
She looked down. 'I.. I was wondering if you're free to go for drinks.'
'It's Valentine's Day, Bones.'
He didn't even know why he had said that, it didn't matter because he wasn't seeing anyone and neither was she as far as he knew, but he had said it.
'I know,' was her only answer, implying that she was very aware of the implications.
He decided to go for it, because just seeing her here made him hungry for their deep connection to return.
'Ok, sure. Let's go.'
'What happened, Bones?'
They had been sitting at the bar for a while, sipping their alcoholic beverages, mostly quiet until Booth had found the liquid courage to ask her.
Her eyes focussed on his before returning to her drink. 'I don't know.'
'Did I do something wrong?'
She shook her head. 'No.'
'Then what, Bones?'
She hesitated. 'I.. I wasn't ready.'
'You could've said that, Bones. You should've said that.'
'I'm just.. You don't deserve this, Booth.'
'Then cut the crap and say what's on your mind.'
It hurt him to talk to her like that, and it hurt her to hear it, but they both knew he was right. This was hurting them more than the truth ever would.
So she took a deep breath. This was it. It was Valentine's Day and the man who had meant the world to her ever since she had met him was sitting next to her, his heart opening itself a little to give her a chance, even if it was just a muscle.
'I don't understand you when you talk about love, Booth. I've never seen that kind of eternal love you want. I've never wanted to see it.'
'Why not?' he asked, while he kind of knew the reason.
'Love is just.. It can cause so much pain. I'm… I guess I'm scared to feel that way again.'
He nodded. 'I know. I know it's hard. But Bones, just.. Just give it a try. Ok? I know you say you don't know how to change. You think you don't know how to love. But that's not true, you know. You know how to love, you've done it for years. You just never admitted it.'
The realness and truth of his words sank in slowly. He was right, she had loved him for years. Only it had been a different kind of love, a safe one, one where distance and the façade of friendship had given her the confidence to offer him a piece of herself every once in a while.
'Booth.. I still don't think it will work.'
He slowly dared to cover her hand with his. 'It'll work. I don't see how it couldn't.'
She met his eyes, the blue orbs open for him to read, to look deep into her soul and see what she couldn't say. He understood.
'We won't lose our friendship over this, I promise.'
Still, she was hesitant.
'Let me tell you something,' he said. 'It might not be what you want to hear but I.. It's important.'
She nodded, not used to seeing him so careful, so serious after a few drinks.
He sighed and reluctantly let go of her hand.
'I.. The past few years I've learned a lot from you. It's been so much fun working with you, we've done amazing stuff together. But every time you drive away from me in a cab or in your car or with Angela after a case, after drinks, whatever, it hurts so much, Bones. I've known for a long time that you're important to me, and I miss you so much when we're not together.'
He stopped to order another drink and this time, it was she who covered his hand with hers.
'I miss you too when we're apart.'
'See? That's what I mean. You know how to love, Bones. Your heart is the biggest I've ever seen. Just please, let's give this a try. If it doesn't work out we'll go back to what we are now, very good friends, but I want to have everything with you.'
She frowned. 'You want to have sex.'
He sighed. 'Don't.. Don't just pass it off like that. Making love, Bones. But it's not even just about that. I want to go home with you, come home to you, have you come home to me. I want to cook for you, order take-out with you and go to bed with you, hold you when you need it or when I need it, just.. What we are now, only then even better.'
She had gone silent, her eyes filling with tears, witnessing his slightly heavy voice shaking with either alcohol or love, she didn't know what to say. She wanted it, everything he said, but she was afraid.
When she stayed quiet for a while he dared to meet her eyes. 'What do you say?'
A smile appeared through her tears and his heart dared to dream again.
'I am not a gambler, Booth..'
'You said that before, what does it mean?' he asked, hoping she wasn't backing out again, but he had seen her smile and the tears in her eyes so he dared to push her a little, having seen that this was what she really wanted too.
'It means.. It means that I can't take this chance if I don't know the odds, Booth. There are so many variables, we can't predict the outcome. I can't risk losing you.'
'You risk losing me every day, Bones. I risk losing you every day. That's what we do.'
She nodded. 'I know.'
They sat together in silence for a while, neither daring to speak. Then, Booth stood.
'Come on, let's get out of here, I'll take you home.'
'Why?' she asked, dreading the moment she'd be alone again on Valentine's Day.
'Maybe we can talk some more if you want, you've always felt safe enough to say what's on your mind there.'
She nodded, it was true. So he took her home and she offered him a beer, which he declined because he'd had enough alcohol. She made tea and they ended up next to each other on the couch, close but not too close, because they still didn't know what they were to each other.
After a while of silence, she sat up, put down her empty cup and looked at him. He stayed where he was, sitting back with his cup in his hands, watching her intently.
Then, he saw it. A little change in her eyes, something clicked. A sigh escaped her and she moved back to sit next to him, only this time she sat close, close enough for him to smell her, to feel the heat radiating from her body. He felt her head on his shoulder and he closed his eyes, his head turning to feel her hair on his cheek and nose. She closed her eyes as well, a strong arm coming around her shoulders, and somehow everything felt right. They didn't speak, they didn't have to. He understood her, he knew she had finally admitted to trying it his way, but she'd need some time to figure it all out.
When finally she spoke, her voice was soft and he heard a slight tremble.
'Can you stay?'