"It's sinful." Raenef said out loud to the room just to have it echo back into his ears. He needed to hear someone say it, not just read it on a page, or write it down for himself. He needed to hear it to make it real. "It's sinful." He repeated.
But the message was not quite sinking in. He still wanted Eclipse. He wanted Eclipse in that desperate, can't-sleep-can't-eat-can't-go-two-minutes-without-thinking-about-it way. It made paying attention to the words Eclipse said during his lessons very difficult to think about. Because those words came from his lips, and those lips were oh so much better to think about. Those lips as they curled into an artful o, those lips saying Raenef's name, those lips shouting.
Yep, those lips formed all of those sounds during lessons, and it was so easy to imagine the way those lips would move if Raenef were to run his fingers down Eclipse's chest. The artful o as his teased each nipple, the sigh of his name as his fingers trailed lower, the shouting as he spilled himself between Reanef's own lips.
Those were dangerous thoughts to be having during lessons because Eclipse always caught him daydreaming, and there was nothing more embarrassing then being caught by the object of your affections in the middle of an erotic dream and half hard with longing. And so, Raenef was trying to figure out what to do with these emotions because it was unlikely that Eclipse would feel the same way that Raenef did.
He put the letters from Chris and Erutis away in the drawer were he kept all of the letters from them. He wanted to get two ribbons so that he could tie the letter together, but Raenef worried what Eclipse would say about that. Probably something about how a Demon Lord did not need ribbons when he could simply enchant the air to bind them together, or call up a ribbon of air to make sure the letters did not drift apart, or some other magical means. Of course, later, maybe as early as that evening or as late as the next week, there would appear two expensive silk ribbons which Eclipse would deny any knowledge of.
"It is time for dinner, Master Raenef." Eclipse called from the doorway. He did not like to come into Raenef's study without being invited, but he also did not want to leave any doubt as to Raenef's appearance at dinner. Lord Krayon had invited himself over, probably sent by Erutis to try and learn the name of the object of Raenef's affections. She had asked about it in every letter since Raenef had informed her of his desires to be kissed.
"Of course." Raenef stood, glad that his pants were no longer quite so tight.
"Did you want me to select an outfit for you to wear to dinner?" Eclipse asked.
Raenef knew that Eclipse offered to do such things because he did not want anyone to think his master weak, but for a single moment he wondered if Eclipse might want to see Raenef in a particular outfit, or if he might not want anyone else to see him a certain way. He looked at Eclipse who appeared to be staring somewhat intently at Raenef. A bright ray of hope sprung up inside him, only to be squashed down by the realization that he had spilled ink on his sleeve. "Um, no, I believe I will just change my shirt."
"Very well. I will see you at the table then." Eclipse gave a short bow and left.
Raenef looked down at his pants. "It is sinful."
Dinner was as bad as it promised to be. Raenef didn't even have time to sit down at the table before Krayon began his questioning. "My Love tells me that you have found a special someone." Eclipse blanched in his seat, but Raenef allowed no shock to show in his expression. "Do you need some advice in the relationship department?"
"Erutis has been sharing with you. How is it that you persuaded her to trust you?" Raenef countered as he took his seat at the head of the table.
"Touché." Krayon raised his wine glass. "She told me that if I discovered the identity of your paramour, then she would—ow!"
"I don't believe that we need to hear any tales of your exploits." Eclipse interrupted. He deliberately avoided looking at Raenef; it hurt somewhat that his master had gone to humans for relationship advice rather than coming to him.
"Well, whatever it is that Erutis promised must be very good to warrant inviting yourself to dinner. It's a good thing I like her or I might be offended." Raenef started on his soup.
The conversation lagged as Krayon realized that his mission might not be as simple as he thought. And then he decided on a new tactic. "Have you told this person of your affections?"
"No." Raenef answered, and Eclipse couldn't stop himself from casting a surprised look over at his master. "I do not yet have enough information to make such an advance." He wiped his mouth carefully. "There are still many things I do not know." Like what to do if it is sinful.
"Is there nothing I can do to help?" Krayon asked, actually sounding like he wanted to be helpful instead of just uncover the latest bit of gossip.
"No, I don't think so." Raenef said, and Eclipse sighed in relief. If Raenef was unwilling to say anything in front of Krayon, perhaps he was simply waiting to find the right words to ask Eclipse.
The conversation drifted from there. Eclipse asked how Erutis was doing with her mercenaries, Krayon asked for news of Chris to take back to her. Raenef told an amusing story about going into a local village with a crusader to buy a present for Eclipse which prompted Krayon to tell a story about Erutis that Eclipse cut off in the middle, claiming that no one wanted to hear about his exploits again. Now, Raenef was curious as to what exactly happened between Erutis and Krayon and resolved to write her about it as soon as dinner finished.
He escaped the table while Eclipse went to make coffee by telling Krayon that he wanted to send a quick letter to Erutis and asked if Krayon would mind delivering it for him. And in no time at all, Krayon was gone and Raenef was helping Eclipse carry all the dishes into the kitchen. He even volunteered to dry the dishes as Eclipse washed them.
It was an awkward moment for Eclipse. Raenef was terrible in the kitchen, but he thought that Raenef might need a little time to ask Eclipse's advice. In the end he agreed. Raenef didn't say anything the entire time he dried dishes, but he lingered over the last plate, trying to get off invisible droplets of water. "It might be best, if you just asked." Eclipse told him gently and took the plate away.
"Have you ever committed a sin?" He asked suddenly.
Eclipse was not sure what to make of this question. The last time Raenef had asked such a personal question had lead to several weeks of Eclipse mooning over a very chaste kiss that had not resulted in anything more, except for some interesting dreams that he refused to think about during the day. There was simply too much work to get done. But that had been a simple question, have you ever been kissed, and this question was so much more complicated. "I suppose there are many people who would say that I have."
"Oh." Raenef looked down at his feet. "Do you think any of the things you have done were sins?"
"Why are you so curious about this?" Eclipse was almost afraid to know the answer, but he needed to know. He needed to know before he could even begin to think about an answer because who knew
"Well, it came up in one of the letters that Chris sent me. He was listing all of the things he couldn't do because they were sins, but some of them didn't seem like bad things and so I was trying to understand more about what a sin was and Chris said that a sin is anything forbidden but I'm a demon lord, I'm supposed to do forbidden things and so I was trying to understand if what was a sin for Chris was or was not a sin for me."
These were exactly the kinds of questions that Eclipse did not know how to answer. He had never given much thought to sins before and personally he would have preferred not to think about them now. But Raenef was looking at him with those confused and tormented eyes that really didn't belong on his face. "I think—"
"Erutis said that the only sin she knew of was denying your true nature. But I don't understand what that means either. And how can what she says be right and what Chris says be right too? Doesn't one of them have to be wrong?"
When had his master become a philosopher? Eclipse had to put a stop to these questions before Raenef had him spinning in circles. "You are a Demon Lord and therefore above the rules of mortals. You decide what is a sin and what is not or even if there are sins."
"Oh." Raenef said softly. Somehow, that made sense but at the same time didn't. "Thank you, Eclipse." He smiled, the soft confused one. "I'll see you in the morning."
"Sleep well." Eclipse called as he left the kitchen.
Raenef took off his clothes and climbed into bed. He didn't put on any pajamas; he had decided that in order to think about himself he needed to be dressed as himself. All of the clothes here were the clothes of a demon lord, and part of what Raenef was thinking about was what it meant to be a demon lord. He didn't want to be thinking about what a demon lord thought about sins, he wanted understand what sins meant for him in part as a demon lord and in part as a demon lord with an unusual background.
He sat right up against the headboard and stared out at the room, the ornate and heavily decorated room. But it didn't feel right to be looking at so much opulence when he came from such humble beginnings, so Raenef went and stood in front of the window and looked out at the garden. The garden was where he felt most sure of himself anyway.
Erutis had said that the only sin was in denying one's true nature. Chris had made a long list, but Chris was a Priest of Rased while Raenef was a demon lord. Not all humans had to follow the list of rules that Chris did; Erutis didn't follow a single one and she was human. So perhaps some rules, some sins, only applied to certain groups. Would Eurits's rules approve of a master and a servant? Would Chris's?
Well, Chris's rules probably wouldn't apply since they did not allow a man to be with another man. But Erutis had said that her second in command engaged in relationships with both sexes, so she would probably not mind if Raenef acted on any of his desires in the sense that they were both male.
And really, Raenef decided as he stood at the window, it was not a sin in his mind for people to engage in relationships with anyone they wanted to. The question, for him, was not much who but how. Many of Raenef's fantasies involved pleasuring Eclipse, not the other way around. He wanted to slowly take off Eclipse's clothes and put them neatly folded on a chair next to the bed. He wanted to run his fingers over that skin and sooth away the aches of the day. And he wanted very much to kiss a trail from Eclipse's jaw all the way down, to wrap his lips around his member, to lick and kiss and suck and swallow until Eclipse was a quivering limp mess. And then Raenef would crawl up next to Eclipse and lay his head on the older demon's chest and smile from the pure joy of the moment.
It was the servant's job to take care of the needs of the master, but Raenef wanted to take care of Eclipse. That is what he thought might be the sin. And Raenef didn't think he could stand it if he went to Eclipse and offered to do all of those things only to have Eclipse say that he would not allow Raenef to do as he wished because it was not his place to do those things. And he was afraid that Eclipse might then proceed to do to Raenef all of the things that Raenef wanted to do for him and while it would feel good it would also feel empty.
The wind blew in through the window, and Raenef shivered. He was naked and cold and achingly hard at his thoughts of Eclipse.
"What are you doing at the window?" Raenef glanced over his shoulder and saw Eclipse standing in the door way.
"I was thinking." He turned back to the scenery and tried very hard not to think about the fact that Eclipse was here now while he was standing in front of the window naked and hard.
"You are going to get sick if you keep standing there in the cold." Eclipse stepped into the room.
"Stop!" Raenef yelled in a slightly panicked tone of voice. "Don't come any closer." He said more quietly.
"What's wrong?" Eclipse asked.
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong." Raenef shivered.
Eclipse stepped closer and realized that Raenef was naked. He had noticed it when he stood in the doorway, but from that angle he had not been able to see just how naked he was. And now Eclipse was gifted with an entirely nude image of Raenef from behind. His skin was so pale and smooth and that blond hair glowed under the moonlight. Not for the first time, he wondered what it would be like to run his hands down that skin, to tease and coax his way from the top of Raenef's shoulders all the way down to the curve of his bottom, to see that skin turn pink with desire. But never before had Eclipse had a visual to go with his occasional fantasy.
"Raenef, turn around." Eclipse had not been intending to say that. He had intended to tell Raenef to step away from the window again, but now he needed to see the front. He needed to see all of Raenef. Eclipse had never dared to imagine this sight.
"No." Raenef said, his voice quivered in fear.
"Please?"
It was that tone that Raenef would never be able to deny, that hopeful, needy, pleading tone that made Raenef want to fulfill Eclipse's every desire. It was the tone of voice he had in Raenef's fantasies right before he put his lips on that head but so rarely heard in real life. He put his hands at his sides and turned around slowly.
Eclipse thought he would stop breathing when he saw Raenef in all his glory. He was beautiful, heart-stoppingly beautiful. 'It was no wonder Leeche still wanted to marry him,' was Eclipse's last thought before he saw that Raenef was hard. He swallowed, hard.
There was no point in hiding it now, Raenef decided. "Eclipse, would you like me to remove your clothes?"
Eclipse's mouth was far too dry to speak so he nodded. And then Raenef was touching him, lightly pulling at his sash. His fingers whispered over Eclipse's chest as he pushed aside his robe. And then that light touch was gone, and Raenef was bending down, folding the sash, and placing it on the table. Eclipse swallowed again.
"May I remove your robe?" Raenef asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
When Eclipse gave a second short nod, Raenef helped Eclipse pull the robe over the top of his head. And again, he bent down, folded up the robe, and placed it on the table next to the sash. It seemed very important that Eclipse not speak. He was afraid of breaking the moment, and in fact he probably would have for Raenef.
"I'd like to touch you now." Raenef reached towards Eclipse's shoulders. "If you don't mind."
At the thought of Raenef's hands on him, even if they only rested in one place was too much to bear in silence. "Please." Eclipse was breathless and the word sounded more like the whisper in a wind, but it was enough for Raenef.
His hands were light, not quite teasing but there was no pressure to the touch. He ran one finger across Eclipse's collar bone, dipping down in the middle and then roaming up over his shoulder. Raenef drew the backs of his fingers back over the line and then laid the palm of his hand in the middle of Eclipse's chest. "I want to kiss you."
Eclipse wasn't sure just why Raenef was announcing everything he wanted to do but at the moment he was in too much of a lust filled haze to question it too closely. He nodded, and Raenef knelt down in front of him. Eclipse had just enough time to be shocked before he felt Raenef's lips against him and then he was feeling too many other things to be surprised anymore. He felt Raenef kiss the head and then lick him from base to tip. He felt his nose brush against the tip as Raenef kissed the underside.
"Oh!"
And then Raenef was taking him inside his mouth, and it was hot and wet and Eclipse thought he just might die of happiness right then and there. It was Heaven and Hell all rolled up together in that mouth. And Raenef was moving, bobbing his head slowly up and down, and Eclipse had to bury his hands in his blond hair to keep from completely falling over. Sometimes Raenef's teeth scrapped lightly over his cock, and Eclipse thought he might shake apart from the shivers that accompanied that pleasure.
It had been a long time since Eclipse had felt this kind of desire and he could not stand the onslaught for long. He mouthed Raenef's name and then began to say it, slowly getting louder as he grew closer and closer to climaxing. Raenef scrapped his teeth along the edge as he drew up; Eclipse ground his own teeth together, forced himself back into Raenef's mouth once more, and screamed.
It spilled out of Raenef's mouth and ran down his chin to drip on the floor. Eclipse looked down in the haze of the aftermath and felt absurdly pleased to know that it was his seed slowly leaking out of Raenef. He held out his hand and pulled Raenef up and against him; it was then that he realized that while he had gotten release, Raenef was still hard. He reached down with his other hand and curled it around Raenef's cock. He cried out and grabbed on to Eclipse's shoulder. It took even less time for Raenef, and they were both covered in the sticky mess shaking and clutching at each other.
When he had recovered a little bit, Eclipse looked down at Raenef with every intention of asking why. But when he saw Raenef with his head pressed tightly against his chest and his eyes closed and that perfectly happy smile on his face, Eclipse decided he didn't care why, not if it made his master look that happy.