Disclaimer: I don't own this… great, just great…
A/N: please do not take this story seriously…
HP Chapter 1
Hermione could not see where she was going as she stumbled along the dark passage. Snape's hand was wrapped tightly around hers as though he also feared something.
"Professor, where are you taking me? I mean, I can understand if it's top secret and you can't tell… but please, I'm getting tired and my arm is hurting and I'm scared that you're going to hurt me and…."
At this, Snape jerked her arm severely. "Well, Miss Granger, you no longer have to guess on the last one…" He threw his best sneer in her direction and continued to drag her down the corridor.
Well, that's just great! Not only am I being hauled down a hall by a Death-Eater, but I'm also hungry as hell. Maybe he'll give me a little food once we slow down.
But they did not slow down. "Miss Granger, if you would kindly stop thinking so loud, it's annoying me. I would suggest you shutting up for the rest of our journey unless you enjoy having your face smashed into the wall."
Quickly, Hermione shut her… um… mind. Snape was scary when he was mad… which was all the time…
Eventually, the pair came across a door which (Hemione somehow figured out in the dark) was painted black. She felt a great sense of foreboding grip her like a steel trap. Hermione clung to the older man's hand and silently begged him for protection. He looked down at her with passion in his eyes and gently shook her off of him in disgust (at his own weakness).
Snape was becoming uncomfortable standing so close to the beautiful Gryffindor lioness. He decided that the author of this story was becoming much too sappy and that she should cut it out with the romantic handholding.
Blushing, he turned his face ashamedly toward the wall, hoping against hope that she would just open the door and leave him alone with his erotic thoughts.
Hermione felt uneasy as she reached her hand out toward the door knob, shaking as she did so. Snape seemed unusually quiet as he stood next to her, his face turned away from her piercing gaze.
"Well, uhhh, ummm... you should go in now. The Dark Lord will be terrifyingly upset if you waste your time out here. He will call me when he is ready for you to go back to your rooms, as I will be your escort."
Hermione numbly nodded in response and turned the handle of the dark, frightening door. She looked back as she entered and saw Snape lurking in the shadows, watching her go. Stepping into the light filled room, Hermione shielded her eyes from the bare incandescent bulb hanging from the rotting ceiling.
The burning light went out, and Hermione screamed.
"Welcome, Miss Granger."