Simply Put
She paced by the window.
She watched the rain fall, drop after drop, onto the windowpane, against the dark sky. She hugged herself tighter as she shivered, though she knew it wasn't from the cold.
His plane was landing in three hours. He was coming back from filming Hairspray. She missed him terribly, but she was confused about both where they stood in their relationship and her feelings about him.
Growing tired of the pacing, the brunette sat in a chair at her dining table and lifted the pencil off the blank yellow writing pad on the table. She began to bounce the eraser off the pad in anxiety.
When in confusion over her feelings, Ness would write poems to help her sort them out. But on this night, her feelings were too confusing for even poems to figure out.
She sat looking out the window for quite some time. She watched the rain some more. Then she looked down at the paper and began to write. It seemed as if the words wrote themselves. When she felt she was finished, she lay her pencil aside.
She choked back a sob after reading her poem and finally understanding her feelings for Zac.
She tore it off her notepad, crumpled it into a ball and threw it at the trashcan. She ran to her bedroom in tears, not noticing how the paper had bounced off the side of the bin.
Ness didn't know how long she lay on her bed sobbing and hugging the cute little mouse he bought her for her birthday a couple years ago. Suddenly, she heard a knock on her front door. It could only be one of the cast.
She made her way out of her room, sniffling and wiping the tears off her face, calling, "Come in!"
The door opened and the voice of a good friend filled the house. "Hey, Ness!"
"Hey, MoMo."
"We're just getting re- Ness, what's wrong?"
"Oh, I just uh, found some old movies. Major tearjerkers." She sniffed.
"Right. Now why don't I believe that?" Mo crossed her arms.
"Because it's not true," Ness admitted, sighing in defeat.
"Ah-hah. Now really. What's wrong, Ness?"
"I don't really know."
"Uh-huh. This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with Zac now, would it?"
Vanessa just walked into her living room and sat on her sofa. Monique followed. When her friend sat down beside her, Ness laid her head on her shoulder with a sigh.
"Let's start from the beginning."
"I'm confused," said the unusually melancholy brunette. "Or at least I was. We've been apart for so long. I didn't even know how I felt about him, let alone where we stood as friends.
"But then I wrote this poem and now. . . "
She trailed off, unsure of how to continue.
Mo, being both a neat freak and overly curious, had spotted a crumpled up paper laying on the floor beside the trashcan. She had gotten up to retrieve it while Ness explained. She picked it up and flattened it out.
With the Rain
The rain falls.
And along with it, something else.
It hits the windowpane.
And along with the pane, something else.
It runs down the glass.
And running with it, something else.
The plane will land soon.
And I'm afraid.
What runs down the glass with the raindrops?
My confusion,
mingling with and clouding my true feelings.
What else is pelted by the water like the windowpane?
My heart,
anxiety and fear like knives through it.
And what falls with the rain?
Emotions,
One by one
slowly trickling to make me
me.
"Is this you poem?" She held it out to her friend. In response, Ness burst into tears and Mo sat back down to let her cry on her shoulder. "It's amazing. It's really good, Ness."
"But that's not the point."
"Well at least it cleared up some confusion."
"Sure. But not all of it."
"Do you want my advice?"
She nodded into the shoulder she was leaning on.
"Tell him. Tell him how you feel. If he doesn't share your feelings, we will all be here to support you, to catch you when you fall. If he does, all the better, right?"
"But what would happen to our friendship? If he doesn't?"
"Take a break for a while, then talk it out. It might hurt, but I'm sure it'll be worth it. Things will work out. But let's jump off that bridge when we get to it. He might share your oh-so-secretive feelings." Mo stood up. "Come on. It's time to pick him up from the airport."
She followed Mo outside and they grouped up with the rest of the main cast. It had stopped raining. The guys piled into Corbin's corvette and the girls climbed into Ashley's Mercedes. Vanessa sat in the passenger seat while the others sat in the back and Ashley drove. The men led the way to the airport. Ness put on a smile and laughed along with them on the drive, but inside, she was quaking with nervousness. A few times, she met Mo's eyes and they shared a Look, a look that inspired Ness and helped her keep her confidence.
When the two cars parked at the airport, the nine piled out, excited to see their friend. They went inside and sat in the waiting area, watching the screens that kept track of the incoming and outgoing flights. Ness held Mo's hand until the plane landed and everyone rose out of their seats in anticipation. Then she slid her hands into the back pockets of her jean shorts. She fiddled with the folded, wrinkly piece of writing paper in the right one.
Then he came through the door. There were cheers upon his arrival. "Hey, man," he said giving Corbin a hug. Then he shook hands with Lucas, gave Ash a hug, kissed Mo on the cheek, and greeted everyone else as well. Ness hung towards the back of the crowd, waiting to be noticed. Finally his eyes fell on her. Oh, how she missed that sparkle.
"Nessa," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
She smiled. She missed that little nickname. He came forward and gave her a big hug. "I missed you so much," he murmured into her ear, so only she could hear. Then he pulled away and turned towards the others. "Man, I missed you guys."
Mo sent another Look at Ness and then said, "Okay, guys. Let's head back out to the cars." Everyone headed for the door and Zac began to follow, but Ness caught his arm. He turned back to her.
"What is it Nessa?"
She responded by giving him another hug. She pulled away and put her hands into his. She looked deep into his eyes. "I missed you so much."
"Thanks," he said with a smile.
"I want to say more, but I can't bring myself to say it, or wait around to see your reaction." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "So here." She reached her right hand into her pocket and grabbed the paper. She held it tightly so he wouldn't notice how her hand shook. She placed her hand back in his, then turned and headed out the door and to the cars. He followed her, resolving to read it later.
They made their way towards their friends.
"Come on, slowpokes! We want to go home!"
"Oh, shut it, Corbin!" Ash replied.
Mo came over to Ness and whispered into her ear. "How'd it go?"
"Later."
"Let's go home, guys."
When they were finally home, Mo joined Ness at her house. "So what happened?"
Ness explained all that had happened and that she didn't tell him.
"I hope he gets it."
"Me too."
"And call me if you need me. I will be over here before your first tear can fall."
"Thanks, MoMo."
"K. Sweet dreams."
"You too. Love ya."
"Love ya."
Mo left and Ness sat on her couch and turned on the TV. After about five minutes of channel surfing, she turned it off and picked up the writing pad and pencil resting on the arm of the couch. She stared at it for a while. She lost track of the time. Then there was a knock on the door.
She got up and answered it.
"Hey," he said. She just looked at him.
He held up the folded yellow paper. "What does this mean?"
"Simply put?" He nodded. She took a deep breath, going over Mo's phone number in her head. "I love you." She kept her glance focused on her bare feet, not being able to look at him.
"You know what I don't get?" She shook her head, still not able to meet his gaze. "Girls." She finally lifted her head. He let out a laugh at the confused expression on her face. "You could've just said that."
She shook her head in disbelief. "You just don't get it, do you?" she asked, meaning how hard it was for her to convey her feelings. But he smiled.
"Isn't that what I said?"
And before she could respond, he was right in front of her. "Want to know what I would have said?" Without waiting for an answer, he slid his arms around her waist, leaned down, and kissed her. She slipped her arms around his neck and smiled against his lips.
"You know what I don't get?" Ness asked when they pulled apart.
"What?" They were so close, she could feel his breath drift down onto her face.
"Boys."
He chuckled. As he hugged her, he whispered, "Oh, Nessa."