"If we had sex," I begin, "who would be top and who would be bottom?"
"Neku, darling, you mustn't worry your sweet little mind with such trifling matters," Joshua says as he sets his cup of coffee down. "I promise you it would be pleasant."
"I'm not going to have sex with you," I say, shoving another chunk of pancake into my face.
I would like to say that Wild Kat was a nice place to hang out with Joshua, but "hanging out" "nice" and "Joshua" cannot be in the same sentence, or it may lead to homosexual intercourse. We both got our normal; me, the biggest plate of pancakes Mr. H offers plus two extra and a caramel macchiato, and Joshua a cup of black coffee.
"But why not? I know for a fact you and Little Miss Short-Skirt are never getting together," he retorts, smirking on that last part.
I've gotten used to Joshua's blunt way of saying things, even to him propositioning me in public, but I can never help the rush of blood to my face whenever Shiki's mentioned. Especially when he says it, dripping with innuendo and sarcasm.
"I don't need to hear that from you," I say covering my red face with more pancake.
"Regardless," he says, as he waves Mr. H over for a refill, "I just think it would be a good experience for you. I believe that everyone should experience something with the same sex at least once. It builds character."
"What world do you live in?"
"Neku, I want you to realize something."
"What?" I ask, sweeping the plate for any leftover soggy bits of pancake.
"I am a heterosexual," he says right when Mr. H walks over to fill up his cup. "Isn't that right?" he turns toward Mr. H.
"Huh?" he says, looking in surprise at Joshua when he finishes speaking. He then pulls out one of his earbuds and says, "Yeah, coming right up," and leaves towards the kitchen.
"Well," Joshua says and picks up his mug. "That was interesting."
"Don't try to change the subject. If you're so straight, why do you keep asking to have sex with me?" I ask sternly, pushing my plate away from me like that'll make my point.
"Why do you keeping looking like you're asking for it? Neku, come on, you're getting older and I know for a fact you are a total virgin. What happens when that tramp you're in love with wants to bang and little Neku doesn't know heads from tails of sex?"
"She's… not a tramp…" I mutter, obviously being the only thing I can mutter.
"My bad, I mean a borderline shut-in. I forgot she lied to you," he giggles, taking another sip of coffee.
"She's not a shut-in either..."
"I'm just saying, that's some extreme jealousy if she-"
"Joshua," I say, not loudly, but it gets his attention anyway. "Do you find this funny?"
"Very."
"But…why?"
He sighs, he literally chugs the rest of his coffee. "You are a strange person, Neku Sakuraba."
"What-"
"Shush," he says and raises his hand. "its Joshua time right now," he giggles, but it feels fake.
A brief pause waves over both of us, pregnant with awkwardness and gay sex.
"I just, I don't know, wanted you to stop thinking about her, and, God, you owe me for making me talk seriously, because it is not my forte. I know you think about her too much for your own good, even when we're hanging out, and it, just, pisses me off. I mean, I thought we were friends, but you sure don't treat me like one. Hell, you have more fun with skater-boy than with me, and, dare I say, it makes me feel like you don't like me." He reaches over the table and looks at me. "Do you like me Neku Sakuraba?! Well, do you?!"
His voice reverberates through the empty café. My flesh is suddenly covered in goose bumps.
I look back at him, oddly confidant and say, "Yes, Joshua. I do like you. But not enough to have sex with you," and I smile as he slowly sinks back into his seat.
"I…see."
"Congratulations, Joshua, for the first time you've actually spoken like a teenager. We need a plaque or something for this occasion," and I laugh.
He laughs harder. "A trophy sounds more appropriate for this situation." His laughter dies down. "So that means we'll hang out more?"
"Hell no, I never said that. I'm not going to feed your insecurities, you have to survive on what I just told you since I will never say it again and I am never having sex with you."
"You don't need to keep saying that," he says, smirking.
"Yes, I do. I still don't believe you're straight."
A flash of disbelief passes his face. "Come on! I wasn't lying. See, there was this one time I-"
Mr. H plops a plate of fish on the table. Both Joshua and I look at him for a moment.
"What? Didn't you order the halibut?"