Control
By: PhoenixJustice
Disclaimer: Out Of Control/Never Understand is property of Bbong; I only own this story and make no profit from this.
Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, yaoi, etc.
Pairing: Yuri/Kim Jaerim.
Setting: Post-manhwa, potential spoilers for the manhwa.
Summary: "Control? I've never had that...when it comes to you."
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He knows Yuri feels bad that his work has been keeping him away more often, once the spring rush hit, after the snow thawed, but he thinks he's reassured him often enough that it doesn't get to him like it once would.
And after all, it was still nice...being here, in Yuri's home. As before, but even more so now, it feels like home to Jaerim. Yuri's scent on the pillows, those moments when Yuri, even when he has to be so weary from work, still wanting to make the dinner for the two of them, to be together.
It all fills his heart with such joy that he wonders he doesn't die from it. And he can only marvel at the place they were now, how the two of them both were, together. It was getting harder and harder to remember a time when they disliked each other and loving each other wasn't their entire world.
Even more so...he doesn't want to remember those times. Or parts of it, anyway. He doesn't want to think of the things that could have ever, or has, made Yuri sad. It took such a long time to get to this point, together, that he will do whatever it takes to make Yuri happy. Like he knows Yuri does for him, every single day together.
He holds onto one of the pillows on the bed, flushing a bit at the remark one of his older sisters make earlier on, when he's about to leave to head to Yuri's.
'Might as well move in with him already, as much as you're over there!'
He flushes deeply and starts to retort, but stops when he sees the gentle smile on her face, instead flushing from the obvious knowledge on her face. She doesn't look upset at all, but instead looks very happy. Her smile widens.
'It's okay, I'll help you tell mom. Just make sure you bring him over again so we can all ogle, uh, I mean get properly introduced to him!'
She nudges at him with her elbow, winking, making him laugh.
He smiles. 'I will.' He turns towards the door and waves a hand. 'But only I get to ogle my boyfriend!'
It leaves him smiling as he finds himself drifting off to sleep...
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His eyes slowly open at the pleasant feeling of someone stroking his head. He looks up with heavy eyes.
"Yuri?" He asks sleepily.
Yuri smiles a wide and gentle smile at him, looking content despite how tired he must be from work. The look on his face makes him flush, his stomach fluttering as it always did. He really was a very handsome man, Yuri. Tall and lithely built, with soft hair and beautiful green eyes. Eyes that would sometimes look at him with such heat he thinks he could just die from it, from the feelings it invokes in him. That he could invoke such looks, could feel the warm touch of Yuri's hand in his or his hot lips over his, is sometimes amazing to him. That they could get to this place, after everything they had been through and seen together...
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Yuri says.
He sits up a bit, rubbing at his eyes. "It's okay." Yuri rubbing his head would always be okay. He smiles. "Welcome home."
Yuri sucks in a bit of a breath at that, before leaning down, one of his large, warm, hands touching the side of Jaerim's face. His forehead presses against Jaerim's.
"I'm home." Yuri whispers, before kissing him.
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"Haa...ha..."
"Mmm!"
"Haa..."
"Mm."
Jaerim moans loudly as Yuri kisses him again and again, hand cradling the back of his head so he can kiss him deeper, wet tongue moving into his mouth in a slow glide over his, saliva dripping liberally from their mouths as their mouths connect again and again with loud smacking sounds.
He can feel his body continue to heat up, getting hotter and hotter with each kiss and when he finally pulls apart from Yuri, it's because he has to have air. He pants, his face feeling like it's made of pure fire-especially when he sees the look on Yuri's face. It goes straight through him and he fights to keep from squirming when he feels his cock get even harder. They were at such a good place now, but they hadn't...that...yet. He had actually felt ready for a time now for it, but had been too embarassed to be the one to bring it up.
"Yuri-" He starts, before whatever else he was going to say gets lost as Yuri kisses him again. He groans, hands moving to cling to Yuri's shoulders. Abruptly Yuri pulls away and he's startled to see that Yuri is trembling as much as he is. "Yuri."
Yuri puts his head against Jaerim's forehead, his eyes burning into his and he swallows with difficulty.
"What should I do, Jaerim?" Yuri whispers, his eyes closing. He feels Yuri's hands tighten around him.
"I want you." Yuri says huskily.
He can feel the flush reach to the tops of his ears and he looks away, unable to look at Yuri in the face. He feels Yuri's hands relax and remove themselves from his back.
"I shouldn't have..." Yuri whispers. "Forget I said anything-"
He tries to move away from Jaerim and he cannot have that; he grabs Yuri's arm, turning to look at him.
"No!" He can feel the flush of embarassment and desire on his face, but he pushes on nevertheless. "M-me..." He licks his lips. "Me too."
"You do?"
He glances away again. "I-It's all I can think about n-now."
He dares to look back at Yuri and sees his face as flushed as Jaerim's must be, a hand on his mouth. Yuri's eyes turn to look at him once more, filling with that heat that leaves him breathless. His hand moves from his face and he leans towards Jaerim once more. Jaerim lets out a surprised huff when Yuri presses him back onto the bed. He looms over him like a gorgeous spectre, until he leans down, kissing Jaerim once more, this time with a zeal that surprises him.
He grabs one of Jaerim's hands, pulling it above his head and he jerks when Yuri's body weight lands more firmly on him. He kisses him harder and deeper and Jaerim squirms against him. Finally Yuri pulls back, making Jaerim gasp as their mouths pull apart. Yuri was looking at him intently, almost impassively. His face was calm now, no longer filled with the heat it had once shown. He looks down at Jaerim and the look makes him grit his teeth.
He tries to sit up, pushing at Yuri's shoulder, feeling humiliated. "Move." He mutters. He had thought Yuri had been feeling the same way he had, but he seemed so unaffected now.
"Jaerim?" Yuri questions, his brows furrowing.
The look has him seeing red and he pushes at Yuri harder. "Get off of me!" He cries out. "Haven't you humiliated me enough already?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Yuri asks lowly. "When did I ever-"
"Look at you!" Jaerim exclaims. "Am I..." He swallows, eyes wrenching closed. "Am I that undesirable to you? I'm-I'm affected by you, and everything you do, but you just-you're so in control and I can't-"
"Control? I've never had that...when it comes to you." He jumps when he feels Yuri grab one of his thin arms, eyes popping open when he realizes where Yuri's placed his hand. His face burns again, when he realizes it's pressing onto Yuri's crotch. Yuri shifts against his hand, sighing, looking at him. The calm he thought he saw there moments earlier is quickly eaten away by a look of pure want and need that leaves him breathless. "I just...I didn't want to scare you. With my wants or my desires. I-" He caresses the side of Jaerim's head. "I want to make this good for you."
He dips his head down, head pressed against Yuri's chest. "Then just keep doing what you're doing." He says. "I...I like it. It feels goo-!" He doesn't get a chance to finish before Yuri grabs the back of his head once more, kissing him again.
His tongue is almost immediately in Jaerim's mouth, throwing him off and making him feel dizzy with want again. At Yuri jerking slightly, as they kiss, he realizes his hand is still over his crotch. He gathers his courage and runs his hand over his front, pressing a little harder this time-and instantly finds himself on his back once more. Yuri looms over him, a deep blush on his cheeks.
"If you keep doing that," Yuri says. "I'll..." He trails off, looking embarassed.
It wasn't a look he often saw on Yuri's face, so perhaps that was what prompted him to say what he did next.
"Yeah?" He says cheekily. "I'd like to see that." See Yuri bared down to nothing but his skin, those beautiful planes and muscles, to see him touch himself? He feels his mouth dry at the thought.
Yuri leans in, kissing him again briefly, before pulling back up, almost completely off of Jaerim now. He kneels and starts to take off his shirt.
"W-what are you doing?"
Yuri finishes taking off his shirt, throwing it to the side, giving Jaerim a complete view of his bare chest. He was handsome. He knew this; he had known it from the very beginning. But seeing it like this...in this way...for him...it was...
"Look at me, Jaerim." He feels Yuri's large hand tilt his face to make him look at him (when had he looked away?) Yuri seemed almost nervous. "Talk to me."
"What do you want me to say?" He whispers.
"That you like what you see, that you like me, anything..." Yuri trails off, looking more uncertain now.
"But I don't like you." Yuri starts to speak, looking hurt. "I love you. It's not so-so simple as like. I see you all the time and all I can think of lately is that I-that I..."
"That you what?"
"I want you to touch me." He whispers. "I want-ahh!" He's startled as Yuri starts to quickly undo the buttons on his shirt and it's not long until it's thrown open, leaving him bare to the chest as Yuri is. He quickly feels self conscious; he knows he is nowhere near as big-or as good looking-as Yuri is. He tries to cover his chest, but his hands are quickly pulled away by Yuri.
"Don't you dare." Yuri says fiercely, before his eyes soften. He pushes some of Jaerim's hair out of his face. "I've waited just as long for you, don't you know that? Longer, even; you know how long I have wanted you."
He feels the heat fill his belly at that. He did know. Yuri had been the one to kiss him first, not the other way around (as everyone else would have expected.) It was hard for him to remember a time when he hadn't wanted Yuri, hadn't been in love with him. He looks up as Yuri places his hand on his chest, leaving him to hear his fast thumping heart.
"Do you hear that?" Yuri asks. "You see what you do to me?"
He nods, swallowing hard. Yuri's chest was warm to the touch and he can feel his hands itch with the desire to touch more. When Yuri leans his head down to start placing kisses on Jaerim's mouth, his face, his neck, he starts to move his hands down. He reaches the waistband of Yuri's pants and feels him jerk when his hands reach there. He stills, as does Yuri. Then Yuri's hands start to wander, as do his mouth. His mouth starts to trail down Jaerim's chest, leaving him gasping.
One of Yuri's fingers brushes over his nipple, making him cry out. He gasps, trying to look away, embarassed, when Yuri looks up at him.
"That felt good?" Yuri asks.
Could you combust from being too embarassed? He was sure he was about to find out. He nods rapidly and his heart stutters at the almost shy smile that appears on Yuri's face. Soon enough he's left gasping at the newly developing feelings awakening in him at Yuri's touch, his mouth, his hands, leaving his breath coming out in short puffs. He stiffens minutely as Yuri's hands start to wander further down his body.
"Jaerim?" Yuri inquires.
It wasn't like he had never touched himself before-he was a teenage boy, after all-but he had never been touched in this way by another person. And for it to be Yuri, whom he both loved and desired above anything else, well... He felt harder than he had ever been and Yuri had to be feeling that right now, or at least seeing it.
He nods at Yuri's almost unspoken question. He feels a gentle hand move through his hair, before kissing the side of his face tenderly.
"Jaerim." Yuri whispers. He shivers, biting on a groan as Yuri's hand dips into his pants, large hand gripping his cock, which was already leaking from precome. He groans as Yuri's hand starts to pump him, the pleasure starting to overtake even his great embarassment. He looks down and his eyes widen to see Yuri as affected as he was.
"Stop. Yuri, stop-"
Yuri stills, brows furrowing in confusion. "What's the matter? Does it not-is it not good?"
"It's..." He licks his lips, letting his courage guide him as he boldly rubs the front of Yuri's pants. "Not just me."
Understanding fills Yuri's eyes and he smiles a knowing smile at him. His hands are shaking, fumbling, but it doesn't seem to bother Yuri. On the contrary, he seems almost as affected as Jaerim is feeling, letting out a hissed breath when his pants are opened and he's laid as bare as Jaerim is.
Jaerim stares. Yuri was...big. But seeing Yuri like this does not turn him off, seeing another man like this (when before he had only ever seen himself.) On the contrary; the sight of Yuri, and how Jaerim was obviously affecting him, only served to make him feel hotter. He doesn't get much time to look before Yuri pulls him up. He lets out a surprised squeak, hands scrambling until Yuri settles them both-and it's then he realizes that Yuri had all but placed him on his lap, with Yuri sitting on the bed, with him atop him.
"Look at you." Yuri says huskily, hands on Jaerim's hips.
He swallows. Looking down as one of Yuri's hands hovers near their cocks, before Yuri gets a more determined look on his face, grabbing both of their cocks, starting to stroke them both. He moans into Yuri's mouth as he kisses him hard, Yuri's tongue sliding against his. The feeling of someone else touching his cock-of Yuri touching his cock-is almost more than he can bear. Was this the kind of pleasure people had with others? He had no idea it could ever feel this good.
"It's-it's good," He pants against Yuri's mouth, saliva dripping from their mouths from their deep kissing. "It's-" His breath hitches as Yuri's mouth leaves his, moving to suck on his neck hard (and he just knows there will be a mark there that can not be covered up, that everyone will see, and the thought alone nearly makes him come.) "It's-oh god, Yuri."
Yuri's mouth leaves his neck, his tongue making a slow glide up the side of his face, over his ear. He rocks against his hand now, with Yuri's free hand holding his back tightly as they both start to move their hips into his hand, their cocks sliding against one another, sweat and precome making an easy glide against each other. He can feel Yuri pulse against him and it makes his head spin; the whole situation was making his head spin.
"Yuri, please!" He pleads.
And, as always, Yuri knows and understands exactly what Jaerim needs.
"I love you, Jaerim." Yuri says huskily.
He cries out, shuddering as he comes hard, distantly hearing Yuri's echoing cry as he climaxes as well, their fronts, their hands, getting splattered with their shared come. He doesn't know how long they sit like that, with him clinging to Yuri, and Yuri's hands moving to wrap around him. Finally he feels Yuri's mouth press against the side of his sweaty brow.
"Thank you." Yuri whispers. "I love you."
His arms tighten around Yuri, his head moving into the crick of Yuri's neck. He was trembling again.
"I love you too." He croaks. "B-but."
Yuri moves back enough that it makes Jaerim have to move his head up to look at him.
"But?" Yuri raises a brow.
"But can we get all of our clothes off next time; what if my mom sees the stains?!" He says, mortified.
Yuri stares at him and then starts to laugh.
"It's not funny!" He protests, before Yuri's laughter makes him join in with him.
Well, okay...maybe it was a little funny!
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A/N: Ahhhh! I did it! This manhwa, let me tell you, this manhwa destroyed me in all the right ways lol. I HAD to write fic for it after I read it. There has been VERY few manga's or manhwa's that have ever touched me the way Out of Control has. It's made me genuinely both laugh out loud as well as cry and that takes a lot with me. Perfection. And of course I had to write for THIS pairing in particular as they broke my heart and made me feel alive at the same time lol.
I hope you enjoyed this!
Let me know what you thought!
-PhoenixJustice