Challenge: "The Most Horrible Competition Ever" by Lamia of the Dark

Prompt: Dialogue: "What's so funny? / Your face"; Character: Gideon Prewett; Object: Pineapple

Form: One-shot

Rules: You have 12 days to write your fic; Write a fic using three of the prompts. (No more, no less!)

Rating: K+

Word Count: 2152 words

Pairings: Fred/Hermione

Warnings: Suggestions of death, life after death, spirits/ghosts/spectres

Notes: Set in Hermione's 5th Year

If anyone had told Gideon Prewett he'd be dead before he was thirty, he would have laughed in their face. As it was, he was quite dead before his thirtieth birthday, as was his twin brother. It was a bit of a bother really.

(That may have been an understatement.)

Whenever anyone told Gideon Prewett he should pay attention in his classes, especially in boring Binn's class, he did laugh in their face. Loudly. As it was, he probably should have paid more attention in History of Magic, that way he would not be in his current predicament. That was even more of a bother really.

(Also an understatement.)

Gideon Prewett was dead, that was true, but he wasn't entirely gone. He was, as it were, stuck between the planes. An imprint on the earth that was not quite as strong as that of a ghost, but strong enough that he couldn't pass to the other side. Gideon Prewett was a spectre. Bound to a secret corridor on the fifth floor of Hogwarts that he had frequented in his youth (Merlin knows why he'd been stuck there specifically), unable to be seen - more thick air than corporeal ghost and cursed to the one spot forever.

It was agony.

True, spooking the occasional snogging couple provided (very minimal) entertainment (all he could do being air was make the room extra chilly and wait for them to disappear to be honest). But Gideon only managed to get any real amusement when his favourite nephews finally came to Hogwarts (they were his only nephews in truth, but that was beside the point). All of Molly's children were all very well and good, very ginger; but the twins, now, they were something else.

The first time they exploded a secret potion in his little corridor, Gideon nearly jumped for joy. Then he remembered he couldn't - because he was only air. But it's the thought that counts. By the time they were in their seventh year, he found himself counting down the days until Fred and George Weasley would reappear in his little corridor (and do something else interesting). That was why, when one day Fred appeared, dragging a bushy-haired brunette Gryffindor witch behind him, Gideon suddenly found himself horrified at the thought that he'd be privy to snogging once more. Then the witch turned on his nephew with a whirl, wand at the ready, and all his fears disappeared. If he'd had hands he would have rubbed them together in glee.

"Fredrick Weasley, you absolute PRAT!"

"Now, now Hermione-"

"NO!" Hermione was absolutely livid, her anger shaking off her person in almost crackling waves. "You turned Crookshanks into a PINEAPPLE!"

Fred made the unfortunate mistake of sniggering at that and without hesitation, Hermione sent a stinging hex his way. Had Fred had his wand out he probably could have blocked it, but unfortnately for him, he didn't.

It was Hermione's turn to snigger as the older Weasley twin hopped about the little corridor rubbing his hip. "What was that for?!" Fred yelled, pulling his own wand out of his pocket.

Hermione's eyes narrowed dangerously, "You turned my cat into a fruit and then proceeded to laugh about it!"

"Nobody got hurt by it-"

"Except Crookshanks you ninny! He was a pineapple for over an hour! He still hasn't appeared from under my bed since changing him back!"

"He scratched me!" The redheaded wizard exclaimed defensively.

Hermione stared back disbelievingly, "What are you, five Fred Weasley?!" she snapped, "You need to grow up!"

"What, and become like you?" Fred barely managed to dodge the next hex that flew at him and sent one flying in return. Hermione effortlessly produced a shield charm in response. The ease with which the witch cast the spell made Fred smile, he couldn't help it. She truly was the brightest witch of her age.

As Hermione glared at him, her eyes began to shift focus to a space just behind his head, and they widened in shock. "Fred - the air-" her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and she crumpled in front of him.

Now, if you asked Gideon what had just occurred. He was not sure he knew exactly. One minute he'd been enjoying their verbal banter, the next they'd started hexing one another, and then as the witch yelled Protego, he'd felt the fibres of his being begin to vibrate and clink against one another - that was the only way he could describe it. And then, it was the strangest thing, the girl - Hermione he supposed her name was saw him (that most definitely had not happened before).

Then, for wont of a better word he zoomed towards her, collided, and Merlin knows how long later, found himself actually waking up to a freckled face leaning over him, expression entirely concerned. While Gideon didn't know exactly what had put him in his current predicament, he understood the result entirely too well.

"Oh for Merlin's sake, you've got to be bloody-well kidding me."

Oh my, his voice was even high-pitched.

Gideon's nephew sat back on his haunches and smirked at him - but Prewett could see the worry in the young man's eyes.

"Why Hermione Jean Granger, I didn't even know you were physically able to swear let alone do it so eloquently. I'm almost proud of you." Fred said, tilting his head to the side as he became serious and truly concerned. "But seriously Granger, you alright?"

Gideon grunted, he felt slightly ill actually. It couldn't have been as sickening being in a body last time - when it was his own body. At least, he didn't remember it being so. Slowly, a little wobbly - Fred offering an arm to lean on - he pulled himself, or herself really, to his feet.

"Oh everything is absolutely tip top." Gideon beamed. Even if it was already making him tired re-inhabiting a body, it really was the most fun he'd had in decades. Although, it seemed that little Miss Herm-whats-her-face hadn't entirely 'left the building' so to speak. She was hammering indignantly away at the back of his - well, her - skull. It really was most uncomfortable.

"You sure Granger? You seem a bit…." Fred was frowning, studying him intently. "Off?"

Gideon sighed, pulling himself upright finally. "Well I am alright in any case. Miss Granger - you said her name was? Well she seems to be doing well enough, considering I somehow seem to have managed to muscle in and pilot her vessel, so to speak."

Fred was looking at him…her…them like they'd grown two heads. "I think you might have hit your head Hermione - we should get you to the hospital wing-"

Gideon/Hermione shook his head. "Sorry no can do Freddie–boy. Lord knows what would happen to me in there. I'd probably get bottled up into a jar and carted off to the ministry, locked away in a storeroom for eternity."

"Hermione, you're not making any sense. At all." Real concern was written across Fred's features now and Gideon decided it was time to let him in on the secret.

"That would be because I seem to have accidentally slipped into Hermione's body when her shield came down. Now there's two of us crammed in here." Gideon said awkwardly, deciding to finally introduce himself to one of his favourite nephews. He stuck out his hand for a handshake. My, she did have slender hands. "Gideon Prewett, at your service Freddie-boy, and might I say how proud of your antics I have been for the past seven years."

Fred just stared at him, his mouth hanging open in gobsmacked stupor. "That's not funny Hermione, c'mon be serious now-"

Gideon withdrew his hand and his eyebrows creased together thoughtfully, "Hrm, yes. Hrm. I should perhaps convince you - that is usually how these things play out isn't it?" he propped a hand on his hip. "Let me see….ah I know! Your uncle Fabian and I made something for your mother upon her wedding to your father Arthur. The Weasley family clock - our finest bit of magic if I say so myself. Fabian did the making and I did most of the spellwork. We had just added Ginny to the clock hands when we uh-"

"I believe you." Fred said quietly, cutting him off with a small smile, "Even if she is the brightest witch of her age, I'm not sure Hermione is quite as accomplished Legilimens as to know that."

It was a strange feeling, but Gideon almost felt the part of Hermione squished in the back of his/her skull grow almost warm at that. Interesting.

Fred shifted side to side on his feet. "Well how are we going to get you out of her?!"

Gideon blinked, "Well I don't know do I? I don't even know how I ended up here!"

"And uncle Fabian? Is he still here too?"

Gideon shook his head. His stomach dropping like a stone. It was something he had been able to keep at bay for a very long time - the sadness - but now it rose up again and the tips of his fingers began to tingle. He flexed them then. "No. I am alone. I have been for a very, very long time."

"…I'm sorry. I couldn't imagine a life without George." Fred said quietly, shuffling his feet a little where he stood.

"Hopefully you won't ever have to experience it. Besides, I am close to seeing Fabian soon. I just know it." Gideon said sadly, and he suddenly he was tired of this little game. The tingling was beginning to spread up his arms. "How's your mother?"

Fred shrugged, seemingly pleased at the change in topic. "Good. Well as good as can be. Percy's racked off. Deserted us and become a turncoat for the ministry."

He was evidently holding onto a whole lot of bitterness towards his brother and Gideon put a comforting hand on his nephew's arm. "I'm sorry."

Fred eyed him a little strangely at that. "…This is weird."

The tingling had spread to his toes and suddenly, without any real knowledge, Gideon knew that he was being pushed back out of Hermione's body, and this time, he would not stay a spectre, he would cross over. "Yes. I don't know how to say this, but I think my time is coming to an end."

"But mum-"

Gideon held up his, well, Hermione's hand to stop Fred from continuing, "She'll understand. She always knew how much Fabian and I adored her anyway. We parted on good terms."

Fred frowned, "Are you sure."

Gideon's smile this time was broad and true. "I have never been so certain. You'll need to catch Miss Granger in a second. I'm leaving." he hesitated for a minute then as the tingling began to overtake his entire body and his knees about started to shake. "Just a hint though, from an expert spectre. Tell her she's pretty and ask her to Hogsmede. You'll both enjoy it. Trust me." Then the tingling overcame him and Gideon sighed, his eyes rolling back into his head. "Finally."

Hermione crumpled in front of him and this time, Fred caught her. Shakily, she rose to her feet in his arms and they stared at the man, more corporeal than a ghost, less than living flesh and blood. He was tall and freckled, his red hair wild and messy.

Gideon cocked his head to the side and smiled, his face almost seeming to light up. As he slowly faded away, his final words were: "Thank you."

The redhead and brunette stared at the space where Gideon Prewett's spirit had been "He was nice."

"Yes. He was." Fred replied with a sigh. "I don't think he'll be coming back."

"No I think not." Hermione said slowly, pursing her lips. "I can't say I'd be keen to repeat such an experience though. I simply must have a look in the library to see what caused-"

"Hermione?" The brunette witch turned to look up Fred when he spoke. "Fancy a trip to Hogsmede with me on Sunday? If old Toadface hasn't cancelled it again?"

At that, she actually blushed. "Oh. Why, yes I'd love to Fred."

They were incredibly close then, and Fred suddenly realised how round and lovely her eyes were. Her eyes flickered down to his lips and back up again, when suddenly Hermione let out a breath and stepped away from him.

It would have been a lie if Fred had said he wasn't a little disappointed. But then Hermione laughed, her eyes flickering to him and away and then back again.

Fred couldn't help but smile "What's so funny?"

"Your face." she teased and with that Hermione took off back up the corridor.

Fred grinned after her retreating figure and cracked his knuckles loudly. "Right Granger, that's it, you're in for it!" and then he went after her, and never stopped.

A/N: So I actually found this quite difficult (are you noticing the theme here?) but I'm fairly happy with it. Molly gives Harry her brother Fabian's watch for his 17th birthday in the books, except instead of hands, it has stars - I thought the common theme here with that and the grandfather clock made it plausible enough that Fabian and Gideon could have made the grandfather clock for their sister before their death. As far as I know, spectres aren't actually a thing in the HP universe, I've just said they were for the purpose of this fic. I envisioned Gideon before he leaves at the end looking a bit like Harry's parents, Remus and Sirius in the movies. I hope you enjoyed! xx