Bet on a Pair

From the Journals of Dipper Pines: Sunday, June 15: This morning Mabel was waiting out in front of the Shack as Wendy and I finished our run. She was dancing from foot to foot, as if she needed a bathroom break, but it wasn't that. "Guys!" she yelled, "Code red! Emergency council!"

"Mabes, what's up, dude?" Wendy asked. "Did something happen?"

"Something's GOT to happen!" she said. "Come on, we have to talk!"

So she led us back to the bonfire clearing. "Mabel, come on," I said. "Just tell us already!"

She had us sit on the log and then she stood in front of us like a drill sergeant or something, hands on hips, stern expression, and she asked, "Do you even know what today is?"

"Um—Sunday?" I said.

"Fifteenth of June," Wendy added.

"And do you know what that IS?"

Wendy and I looked at each other. Then we both said, "No!"

"It's our Grunkles' BIRTHDAY today!" Mabel yelled, waving her arms. "I just found out from Soos this morning! He found out when it was when he turned up a copy of Grunkle Stan's birth certificate in the office! He mentioned it at breakfast! We have a party to plan, stat! Is that the right word, Dipper? Stat?"

"Uh, sure," I said. "Huh. You know, I never thought to ask Grunkle Stan about their birthday!"

"Me neither," Wendy said. "I mean, I've been workin' here for a couple years and it never once came up. Now I feel guilty!"

I thought about it. "You know, come to think of it, during our first summer here Grunkle Stan threw that party on June 15th. Remember? The one where I wanted to ask you to dance and never got up the nerve?"

"Yeah, I remember that party," Wendy said. "Robbie's bike got stolen!"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Um, oh, yeah, wonder how that happened."

Instead of the mystery of the missing bike, though, Wendy turned to the main subject, much to my relief: "So it's the Stan dudes' birthday. Mabel, what do you suggest?"

"So here's what I got so far," Mabel said, and she started to bark orders at us.

Dipper's role was to call Stan: "Hey, Grunkle Stan! Listen, Mabel and I feel kinda bad about missing the fishing opener again this year. Would you and Grunkle Ford be up for taking us out on the lake this afternoon?"

"Sure, I'll do it," Stan said at once. "But Poindexter's probably busy doing advanced math or some deal."

"Is he home?"

"Guess so. I haven't seen him so far this morning, but he gets up early, grabs coffee, and then starts tinkerin'."

"I'll see if I can get him on the phone," Dipper said.

He tried and succeeded. "Hello, Dipper!" Ford said. "You know, it's great that you showed me how to make this computer phone identify callers before I answer. Very convenient. How's Mabel?"

"She's doing better," Dipper said. "But listen: she and I would love to go fishing this afternoon, but she really needs you to be along."

"Hmm. Well, I'm not much of a fisherman," Ford said. "But after Mabel's emotional stress, yes, I suppose I can come along for a few hours. Is Stanley going to be there?"

"Yes," Dipper said. "I just talked to him. You two get together and just let us know when you'll be over, and we'll be ready. Oh—Wendy might want to come along, too." Wendy made no-no signals and mimed turning a steering wheel. "Uh, but if she does, I think she'll drive herself."

Wendy herself was on the phone. When she hung up, Dipper said, "I got both of them to agree. How'd you do?"

She gave him a grin and a thumbs up. "Got Old Man McGucket on the horn first, and he was tickled like a possum with a fiddlestick, whatever that means. Him an' Mrs. McGucket are getting' their son Tate to arrange things. Lookin' pretty good so far."

Mabel reported in, too: "I've called about five people, and they're spreading the word. Soos and Melody and Abuelita were just about to leave for Mass, but I told them what we're doing, and they'll be over, too. Now for the cake!"

When Mabel cooked, she did it as if she were wrestling a larger opponent to the mat, all-out and without mercy. Dipper and Wendy helped, measuring ingredients, stirring and pouring batter, whatever was needed. When the cake pans were safely in the oven, Mabel then ran up to the attic to create some decorations while Dipper and Wendy cleaned up the kitchen.

"Somethin' I like about you, Dipper," Wendy said cheerfully. "You don't ever mind washin' a dish or two. My brothers would, like, dissolve if their hands touched dishwater, like the Wicked Witch in the movie! Least that's the way they act!"

"Well, it's actually kinda fun when someone's there to dry," Dipper told her. "At home Mabel and I take turns washing whatever won't fit in the dishwasher, but she never volunteers to dry and put the things away. I do for her, though."

"Keep doin' it, Dip," Wendy said, giving him a peck on the cheek. "That's what makes you a good brother."

Later, as they iced and decorated the cake, Mabel said, "How are we gonna keep this secret from our Grunkles?"

"Easy-peasy," Wendy said. "I'll drive it over to the lake myself. We'll have to pack it in a box or something so it won't slide, and I'll have to remember to take the curves slow, but we should be able to do it. Good job on the cake, Mabes!"

"Thanks," Mabel said. "I wish we could put candles on, but for the two of them that'd be a hundred and thirty-four, and I don't think there's room!"

"I got an idea," Wendy said. She rummaged around and found two long, thin candles, about sixteen inches in length each. "These were left over from Melody and Soos's wedding. They're really what they call floral candles, but we'll use 'em for birthday candles. See?" She showed Mabel how they should be arranged.

"Perfect!" Mabel said with a laugh, and she gave Wendy a hug. "I wish we had presents to give them, but we've got no time to shop."

"Not a problem," Dipper said, and he told them his idea.

Stan and Ford showed up at one-thirty, and Dipper and Mabel, togged out in shorts and T-shirts and the fishing hats that Stan had made for them on their first visit to Gravity Falls ran out to greet them. "No fishing poles?" Ford asked.

"We'll rent 'em some," Stan said. "Watch the rods and reels in back, guys. They got hooks!"

So Dipper and Mabel shared the back seat with two spin-casting rods. Mabel was quivering with barely held-in excitement. Dipper, on the other hand, felt mainly relief. Mabel seemed to be over the worst of her grief for Russ, who had given his life to save her. Keep her busy, Dipper thought. Give her things to look forward to so she doesn't have so much time to look back and brood on what's already happened.

"Sweet hoppin' kangaroos!" Stan said as the Stanleymobile rumbled down the long unpaved drive to the fishing docks. "Looks like today's the fishin' opener! Is the whole town here?"

"It's certainly very crowded," Stanford said, peering out the passenger-side window. "Look, there's a parking spot."

"Wendy's car," Stan said as he pulled in next to the Dodge Dart. "Huh. She made it after all, but I swear she told me once she didn't care for fishin'."

"Maybe she drove her brothers over," Mabel suggested innocently.

"Yeah, maybe. OK, Ford an' me'll go put this gear in my boat. You two knuckleheads run to the lake ranger shack an' rent a couple rods and reels. Here, twenty bucks should cover it."

Mabel snatched the bill from his fingers. "Thanks, Grunkle Stan!"

The two kids literally did run to the ranger shack, where Tate McGucket stood in his official uniform. "They here?" he asked.

"Yeah! Is everything ready?" Mabel said.

"Right out back," Tate said. "I'll get 'em back there."

Behind the shack stood six long picnic tables—and every one was filled with goodies, cakes, pies, hors-d'ouevres, soft drinks, lemonade, cookies, and other tasty treats. Practically the whole town milled in a crowd there, from Mayor Tyler Cutebiker to Dr. and Mrs. McGucket, from the Corduroy clan to Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland, and even including Gompers the goat and Waddles and Widdles, who looked very interested in prospective table scraps. And of course Soos, Melody, Abuelita and Little Soos were there, too.

"They're coming!" Mabel yelled, running to where Wendy stood.

She stepped aside from the table behind her and said, "Ta-da!"

The sheet cake that they had baked, beautifully frosted in white with blue and red and green decorations, was topped by two figures Mabel had hastily sculpted from modeling dough. One wore a black suit and fez, one a cranberry-colored turtleneck and tan raincoat. They stood together, each with an arm around the other's shoulders, and in their free hands they held the long candles like lances. "Light 'em up!" Mabel ordered.

Wendy touched a match to each candle and just as she lit them, everyone heard Stan grumbling, "They've been gone like a minute! How could they get in trouble so quick?"

Then the older Mystery Twins came around the corner of the ranger shack, and everyone yelled "Surprise!"

They froze.

They looked at each other.

Stan said, "I never told nobody when our birthday was!"

Ford said, "Don't look at me!"

But by then everyone was singing "Happy Birthday" and patting them on the back and dragging them over to the cake. "Make a wish, Pines dudes!" Wendy said.

They shrugged, they blew out the candles, and they seemed to force grins.

But they also seemed to enjoy the company and the food.

Later, when they sat in the boat on the lake waiting for bites that weren't coming, Dipper asked, "Did we upset you guys?"

Stanford cleared his throat. "No, not really, Dipper. But when you get to be sixty-seven, you sort of stop counting birthdays."

"Aw, you two aren't old!" Mabel said. "You got young hearts."

"Thanks, Pumpkin," Stan said with a grin. "But we oughta tell ya—this is kinda awkward for the two of us 'cause our mom and dad didn't celebrate our birthdays."

"Father didn't want to spoil us," Ford explained. "No use spending a lot of money on presents that we'd break in a week, he always said."

"Yeah, and they both worked too hard to take time off to bake a cake," Stan added. "So they'd wish us a happy birthday at breakfast, and that was it."

"In fact," Ford said, "truth be told, this is the first birthday party we've ever had. So—well, it's not that we're not grateful, but we didn't really know how to act!"

"You did fine," Dipper said. "You guys mean a lot to this town. You're doing a lot of good, and people appreciate that. That's why everyone turned out."

Stan said, "Just havin' 'em all there was real nice. And at least we didn't have a lot of stupid boxes to open and ooh and ah over."

"That's because our present can't be put in a box," Mabel said. She glanced at Dipper. "Here we go."

Dipper cleared his throat. "We talked it over. Wendy says the best presents are the ones that never wear out but last a lifetime. So ours is this."

Mabel said quietly, "We want you to know we want to grow up like you two. Brave."

"Smart," Dipper said.

"Loving unconditionally," Mabel said.

"Accepting our family even when they drive us nuts," Dipper said.

"Kind and forgiving," Mabel said.

"Good people," Dipper said.

And together they said, "Our present is we want to be Pines like you."

They didn't catch any fish that afternoon. But they all got a big haul of hugs.

The End