Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.
Author's Note: This is a challenge fic. Yes, it's stupid. Yes, I know it's not that great. But it was fun to write and I hope it'll be fun to read. Enjoy!
La La La
Shigure sat bolt upright in bed, trembling with excitement. He'd just had a revelation. An epiphany! The meaning of life itself!
"I'M GOING TO BE A NEWSPAPER DELIVERY BOY!"
La La La
The next morning -- or, rather, twenty minutes and four cups of hot cocoa later -- Shigure related his brilliant life goal to his beloved, caring family. He didn't pout, not even when Kyou punched a hole in the wall and Yuki fell asleep in his cereal. Tohru was proud of him, and he'd found his purpose!
All that was left was to tell everyone on the planet about it.
La La La
As Aaya bailed him out of jail -- apparently the police thought it was indecent for a man to run howling through the streets at two in the morning -- he explained the point of everything, the meaning of life, the purpose of existence!
"So you want to deliver newspapers?"
"Of course!"
"…Why didn't I think of that first?"
"Not everyone gets such an epiphany, Aaya! I'm afraid that I'll be taking the only available position, though."
"Gure-san, why do you have to be so cruel? Now I have to mourn the loss of our shared destiny!"
"…You can ride in the basket."
"Huzzah!"
La La La
He applied, got rejected, applied again, got rejected again, on and on for the better part of a week. At last -- on try three thousand seven hundred and twelve -- he won them over. All he had to promise was that he'd buy ten subscriptions and work for free!
Aaya cried a little, but Shigure was sure that he felt better after throwing a few newspapers at passersby from the bicycle basket.
La La La
Kyou couldn't understand it. Shigure had completely and utterly lost his mind. He'd suspected that Shigure was crazy before, thought he'd lost his mind when he woke them up at midnight, and believed him mad as a hatter when he'd gotten the job, but now…
Well, once he saw Shigure chasing himself in dog form around the house, he knew it was time to call in for back up.