Okay, it's just a drabble but this song has meant a lot to me recently and I think that it would relate to Ben if he liked Kevin but Kevin liked Gwen. This story is set a few years after the current episodes so Ben and Gwen are around 18 and Kevin is about 19. The title as well as some of the words are from 'Cover My Eyes' by La Roux. I don't own the rights to either Ben Ten: Alien Force or 'Cover My Eyes'.
COVER MY EYES
Every day you're with her. Even when we aren't being attacked by aliens you spend your days with her. You haven't right come out and said it but I know you are. It hurts, knowing that you're with her every time you blow me off, every time you're "busy". You always put her before me - I'm simply a back up for when she has homework or isn't allowed out. You used to go to me first when you needed help, when you were lonely, when you needed a friend. But that was years ago, before I realized who you were, a heartless user. I tell myself that that's what you are, that that's the only reason you befriended me, so why can't I hate you? You only ever helped me so that you'd get help in return, so why doesn't that change the way I feel about you? What is it about you that I find so irresistible? What makes me come back for more each time you hurt me? Am I really that masochistic? There's nothing that special about you, you're just a boy. A half human half alien boy with powers and chiselled abs and a beautiful smile and an attractive body and charismatic personality but still just a boy. You're just a boy… why can't I accept that as the truth?
She loves you. She flirted with you for months, constantly trying to get your attention, putting your safety above both hers and mine. She's started sleeping with you. I know it. Every morning that you've walked into my house with her I've had to cover my eyes so that you couldn't see my tears. The worst part of the day is when you leave with her because this is just further proof that you've picked her over me. Each and every time I can feel something inside of me die. Sometimes I wish you would notice and that you'd comfort me, that you'd hold me as I find it hard to breathe and stop me from crying.
It rare that the two of us hang out with out her. It hurts me to sit by your side when I know you're thinking about her. We mostly sit in front of the television in silence until she can get there. I want us to break that pattern, to talk about every thing. Anything is better then the silence. I wish that once, just once, you would stop worrying about her and just be yourself like you used to. To let your mask slip… it's just a little sacrifice.
We were the best of friends. We were inseparable. We were all the other had. You're still all I have. We're still friends now but just barely. I can't bring myself to complain though because I know that you could take your friendship away at any given moment. It's probably better that way though – you've rejected my advances and turned me away so many times in the past, mostly when we were drunk and I couldn't control myself. I know that if we were closer you'd notice that I'm not over you and I'm too scared to look directly into your eyes anymore. Who knows how many unwanted and unrequited emotions I may accidentally show you?
You love her. I know it. You'll probably never admit it, say it's only a crush but I know you too well. I know you well enough that I don't need anything as obvious as a twitching eye to tell when you're lying, to tell what you're really feeling. You try to hide your emotions but I can see through your disguise. It hurts. I have nothing to call my own anymore. She gets everything I want; the grades, the skills, the friends, you... It hurts so much that I feel as though I'm just surviving knowing that you love her.
But what hurts most is that, despite all of that…
I still love you.