Author's Note: Hey, everyone! So this is my first multi-chapter story. My goal is to update at least once a week, maybe more depending on how much schoolwork I have. The story is set after Chosen, and about a month after the Angel series finale. Flashbacks are in italics.
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Sometimes Is Now
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The lush English countryside sprawled out before her, mesmerizing her with its simplistic beauty. Horses grazed on a nearby hillside, their soft whinnies the only sound disturbing the serene silence. The glow of a setting sun illuminated the picturesque scene, casting vermilion hues over its observer. A casual expression of a wish to see the country which had borne such a formidable man had prompted Giles to schedule a trip to England, and the two of them had spent an enjoyable week taking in the sights. Now she stood alone, Giles being out catching up with a former acquaintance, relishing the solitude.
It had been too long since she had been afforded the luxury of peace and quiet. Ever since she had put an end to Sunnydale's Hellmouth, she had not had a moment's rest, what with locating all of the newly minted Slayers and readying them for confrontations with Evil. Somehow, the bulk of this had landed on her, although she would have appreciated a break from all things supernatural for a spell. Before the trip, she had been exhausted, rapidly approaching the breaking point. Giles had foreseen this, and had wisely insisted on the trip. She was infinitely glad.
She waited until the last rays had been swallowed up by the darkness before heading back to her hotel. Her mind kept replaying the events leading up to her acceptance of Giles' offer of an impromptu vacation. It had been a rough couple of weeks, but she was hopeful that this outing would prove much more than a welcome reprieve from her troubles. She was counting on finding some answers in good old England. She prayed she was right.
"You haven't heard from her?" Willow inquired, a troubled, sympathetic look gracing her features.
Buffy shook her head, sweeping her hand through her hair in a frustrated gesture. "I can't deal with her outburst right now. I just don't have the energy to placate her anymore, or the willingness for that matter."
Willow sighed. "Buffy, don't say that."
Buffy looked pained. "Say what? The truth? I can't help that I don't feel a bond anymore. It's not as if I wanted for this to happen, but it did, and she has to accept it. There's only so much I can do for her, so much that I want to do."
She directed her gaze to the window, a distant look in her eyes. "I know you can't understand how it feels, and you're just trying to help. All of you, you're so busy worrying about her that you're forgetting about me. Nobody's worrying about how I'm feeling, or what I'm going through. Nobody can possibly understand how it feels. I'm alone in this. Once again, I'm alone."
When Buffy entered her hotel room, Giles was sitting up in his bed, reading the latest issue of Time Magazine. Casting her jacket and shoes aside, she plopped down in an armchair and proceeded to count the ceiling tiles. At length, she spoke.
"So how did your get-together go?"
Giles looked up from his magazine, registering Buffy's presence. "Bloody awful," he replied, chuckling lightly. "Only a few minutes served to trigger the memory of how much I used to hate that person."
Buffy never took her gaze off the ceiling. "Serves you right for forgetting the person's existence in the first place."
Giles raised an eyebrow, amused and slightly concerned. He was unsure if her comment had any relation to the recent happenings in her life, but chose to ignore the possibility. "Is there something fascinating about the ceiling that I should know about?"
Buffy tore her gaze from the ceiling and faced Giles, looking sheepish. "Sorry," she muttered.
"What's on your mind?" Giles queried softly.
Buffy inwardly sighed. Her eyes watered imperceptibly. "I'm tired of being alone." Loneliness had been on her mind too often of late, and it had affected her greatly. She had become more introverted, wearier, and the smallest things saddened her. Being alone seemed to be a theme in her life, and she was tired of it.
Gently laying down his magazine, Giles devoted his full attention to Buffy. "You're not alone, Buffy. I'll always be here for you."
Buffy smiled thinly. "Thanks, but you're not exactly boyfriend material."
"You'll find someone eventually," Giles consoled, removing his glasses and placing them on the nightstand.
"But that's just it," Buffy sighed, frustrated. "I don't just want to find someone. I want The One. I'm ready to settle down, be happy. I want the story to be 'Buffy and (insert guy's name here) defeat the Evil together,' not 'Buffy once again solves the problem alone.'"
Giles' expression softened. "Don't lose hope," he counseled. "When the time is right, he will come to you. I'm sure of it. You deserve as much."
Buffy's smile grew just a tad. "Thank you," she said, genuinely grateful for his fatherly affection. She knew that Giles would always be there to love her, if no one else. The thought warmed her a little. Stretching her limbs, she rose from the chair, suddenly restless.
"All this serious talk has made me antsy. I think I'll go stretch my legs, maybe grab a cup of coffee."
Giles tilted his head in acknowledgement. "Very well then. I'll see you in a bit."
Buffy lifted her hand in a wave. "Sounds good. Just…don't wait up, okay? I might be a little while."
Giles affected a nod, and Buffy turned, striding out of the room.
The café was dimly lit, creating a mood of ambiance. There were few people present, in part due to the lateness of the hour. Light chatter mixed with low musical tones floated across the room of the otherwise tranquil café, suiting Buffy's reflective mood perfectly. She sat at a secluded table near the back, nursing her cup of coffee and staring down at the table. The surrounding sounds faded as she became lost in her memories, her mind examining her past and comparing it to her current state. How was it that her reward for saving the world countless times was spending the remainder of her existence waiting for Mr. Right to finally show up? Shouldn't they be together by now? Willow had reunited with Oz, Faith and Robin Wood were going steady. Heck, even Dawn had finally found a boyfriend. Why was it that she had drawn the short straw? What was it that she was doing wrong?
"Is this seat taken?"
A warm, familiar voice roused her from her musings, and Buffy glanced up from the table, hardly daring to believe the sight of the man smiling down at her. He must have been real, for he laid his hand on her shoulder and gently applied some pressure. Buffy broke out into a grin, her eyes sparkling with pleasure. She uttered his name to reassure herself of his presence.
"Angel?"
